"escape route" @friendsfry - Tumblr Blog

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

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brucespringsteencomments

faustique

not photogenic but i probably look sooo good as a distant memory

importantpics

shitpeoplesayintf2

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namira

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

carnadelions

disliking your father for personality traits you have yourself but keep firmly repressed

patrickbatemanamericanpsycho

gloomsday

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

rottencore

This post keeps making me cry laughingg

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despazito

epic

eschocat

Pee changing color depending on ur hydration is very intuitive game desigm

help-me-yes

kosmogrl

lesvegas

Ok I think this might be funnier with context actually. This is a review for a strip club in Toronto.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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stuckinapril

Truest thing ever unfortunately

brucefromfamilyguy

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