Freya's Moments

Ah! I answered this one in my last Q&A Session:

I actually get asked this a lot, but I don't think it's something I've ever answered truthfully. You see, I feel like my life has been impacted in different ways by different pieces, and those moments are divided between my growth stages. A book that I would have considered my favorite when I was 21 may not necessarily be my favorite ten years later. 

Artistic expression comes in many forms, and as varied are the muses that inspire them. A muse can be a person, a thing, or in my case, music. Writing can be challenging on days when I'm not necessarily internally feeling what I intended to express in my writing. That's where music fills in what's missing.

Sometimes, I have a select playlist of songs that have been the backdrop to some of the scenes I've written, which are relative only to a specific work. But there are some songs that are so universally emotional that through them the words just drip from my fingertips, the keyboard tattooing them onto the screen before I can even analyze the word choices I've made. And often, revising those passages isn't warranted.

These are some of the songs that have inspired some of the more emotional scenes in my writing, some of them inspiring entire chapters.

Happy New Year, enjoy.

-Freya Larsen

I recently wrote a post in Freya's Moments that covered how this blog came to be and how the little pieces of ourselves are our essence. I sat down last night, attempting to jot down the parts of me that make me who I am, and I ended up with a list of the most random traits I've ever glanced upon. In truth, I don't know how these all come together to make one cohesive person, but maybe I'm just not as cohesive as I thought I was. I present to this brand new blog some of the things that I like that make me, well, me.

The Arts

Where do I start? I'm a writer, so the arts have always been a significant part of my life. I love the written word, classical books, poetry, lyrical masterpieces. I enjoy classical music, attending plays, and it's a real treat to catch an orchestral symphony. Music in general is a muse for me.

Entertainment

It took me years, years to admit that I am a movie junky. Absolutely adore period dramas, dramas in general. I'll watch an action movie, if it's well made. I feel like storyline and plot goes a long way, and explosions for the hell of it just aren't enough. I struggle with comedies, as I tend to have a morbid and wild sense of humor, and most comedic pieces just don't fit that bill.

Television series are also a guilty pleasure of mine, they can be consuming at times. Some of my favorite have been Peaky Blinders, Mar de Plastico, GOT (still very upset about the ending, but that's a soap box for another day). I enjoy period dramas here as well, including a Russian version of Catherine the Great. Vampire shows are also a fav.

Comics

I like comics. I was really into the X-Men, and Marvel in general when I was a kid, my favorite hero being Captain America. There was just something about his inherent goodness that righted all the wrongs I saw in the world, affirming that I was not the crazy one for thinking the world was a messed up place even then.

I'm more of a Marvel person, but I have space in my heart for DC, mainly Batman. I remember in the early 2000s searching for a particular Batman comic at Midtown Comics in NYC and other shops, which was out of stock everywhere. My mind remembers it as part of the Battle for the Cowl series, which I won't spoil for anyone who hasn't read it. But I never found it, and I was pretty bummed out about it. I went back every week, enduring the stares from the register guys gawking at the only girl in the shop, which is apparently, a rarity to see.

I remember dragging a date there one night, and finding out from him that it was, indeed, a rarity. With my first choice nowhere in sight, I bought a copy of Civil War, and we spent the rest of that date reading it. I was as equally shocked as he to discover that he was as into comics as I was, as apparently, according to both of our erroneous standards, we didn't look the "type."

I've grown countless online presences. The Freya Larsen Brand is new, and I'm tackling this one organically. It will take a while, but it's an endeavor of love that will be the foundation of the newest chapter in my career.

Daylight stalks me. I shun it, for I want no part of the day ahead. The cacophonous bustle of daylight hours births a yearning for dusk, for the settling sight of that lonely moon anchored to the sky by the prayers of those like myself.

The balcony is private, cold; the planks beneath me fuse to my bones like walking barefoot in the snow; but I don't mind. In these moonlit hours, comfort comes to me as peace, serenity.

The wash of blue hangs over the railing, furniture, the tips of my feet - stopping where the roof cuts off access to this breath of light. I look up, searching the sky for an answer to they day's problems, met with a blanket of stars and sparse clouds that whisper to me that yesterday is over, and night envelopes me.

Peace is gifted through the scattering of billions of sparkling guiding lights. My mind treads the sea of space, traveling the cosmos and scouring the far reaches of the galaxy for pieces of myself, for this alone cannot be all of me. My eyes, now the vehicle of truth, deliver to me silence, a reprieve from the maddening chaos that is this life. And for a few moments I'm transported by the moon's blue kiss, only to be brought back by the chill in my bones. My feet numbing, the only sign that confirms my existence here on Earth during these moonlit hours.

For every night that comes and goes, my heart leaves this place and travels amongst the stars. A lonely endeavor, forever in search of sweet silence in my head.

REPOSTED FROM FREYALARSEN.COM

I recently made an Instagram post titled “Pieces.” Its caption read, “You are more than the sum of your parts, but those pieces are your essence. This is me.” It is one of the truest things I’ve ever written, and it was inspired by the discovery of a person whom I found to be both simple and complex at once.

That story begins on a sweltering summer day; I was looking for inspiration for a scene in a chapter I’m working on. I set out in search of random pieces of writing set within hot climates; and in the maze of the whole of the internet, I felt it best to just narrow that concept down to one place, California.

Within a few clicks, I was deep into the pages of Tumblr, where I found an abandoned blog that once cataloged the little moments of one man’s life through the lens of simplicity. There is something to be said about the internet of yesterday, the blogs we all wrote capturing wild and tender moments of our lives, unimpeded by the search engine gatekeeper we all know as SEO. It was a time of reflection that I don’t truly believe exists anymore.

Back to the story. I landed on one particular post about navigating around the city without the ability to drive, something which resonated with me being from the east coast and having spent so much time in Manhattan. In some places, there just isn’t a need to own a car. When you leave those bubbles, the concept of not driving is almost a sin when mentioned. The scoffs, the drawn-back looks. The need to defend the walking class, and your own preference of just walking somewhere. There’s the subway, cabs, and bikes, why drive? But I digress.

You see, this post was so full of truth that I found myself reading others on the page; some funny, others tender, but mostly, they were made up of the pieces of one man’s way of being, his personality. Each post was different than the next or last, displaying several facets of what I like to call “their way,” referring to a person’s method of being, an abstract form of intangible mannerisms, or the mind’s way of interacting with life and people. That got me thinking of the eventual concept of the Instagram post I mentioned at the start of this story.

It is true, we are more than just the sum of our parts. Those parts do not define us completely, but they are the pieces that make up our essence, “our way.” We cannot deny them or hate them. Each little piece lays the foundation for the next. For example, some of us are more outgoing than others, the latter may even be considered awkward. You cannot hate that awkward piece, for it sets the stage for that lovable look in your eyes when you realize you just misspoke. Awkward, but lovable, two pieces of the same person.

“We cannot forget who we are, who we used to be, without erasing ourselves entirely.”

— Freya Larsen

I think that the journey to self-discovery begins with identifying those little things about ourselves that make us who we are. That begins with cataloging the moments when we discover each one. That is one of the reasons I started this blog. I want to be able to look back on those little moments and remember how they made me feel, to write without want for clicks or traffic, the way we used to.

Those Tumblr posts I read have long since been abandoned, that man surely living another life. But I’m sure deep within, those little pieces that made up this lovely being are still swimming. We cannot forget who we are, who we used to be, without erasing ourselves entirely. What are your Pieces?

©Freya Larsen