wait you actually like supernatural? unironically?? in 2021???
it’s more complicated than that

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@freetobecelestial
wait you actually like supernatural? unironically?? in 2021???
it’s more complicated than that

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something about a white blond man being taken over physically and spiritually by the bisexual he’s portraying
i’m putting together a team
ryan price seeing shane and ilya kiss at the first hockey camp and then just never talking about it to either of them or anyone for an entire year until he sees them doing it AGAIN is unintentionally the funniest part of the long game
Licking his lips and swallowing after giving his man the most insane head to ever been given I said oh I'm sure
like oh this molecule of cum must've lost its way and got on my lips *gulp* down my throat you go
In your twenties, a man with a broken collarbone and a concussion will invite you to his cottage for a week or even two. It's very important that you say yes.

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Listen I am an Ilya&Yuna&David parents-favourite child truther and I will fight anyone about it, and I will also readily admit I might be projecting a bit much here BUT
Give me an Ilya who absolutely loves Shane's parents. Who feels loved so so much. Who enjoys spending time with these people and cant stop marvelling at how well they've taken his and Shane's relationship, how quickly they've accepted him into their lives, how readily they carved a spot out just for him, how genuinely they love and care about him.
But it's not quite enough.
And he feels guilty about it and he hates himself and he thinks he's too greedy, too selfish, always wanting more, never having enough, never satisfied. But-
But.
No matter how much they love him, no matter how much he loves them. Yuna and David are not his. Not really. They're Shane's. Always have been, always will be. And while they could never even contemplate it and Ilya would sooner cut an arm off then put them in such a position (and it's not like he wouldn't want them to make the same decision anyway, he would make it too), if they had to choose between Shane and Ilya, they would choose their flesh and blood son over him any day.
There's this degree of separation. Minuscule, certainly, but it feels like a chasm sometimes. The knowledge wedged firmly between Ilya and the Hollanders that he is not theirs and they are not his.
Because Yuna brushes his curls out of his face with a fond, squinty eyed smile when he's being particularly sweet to her and Ilya’s heart pangs with faded, barely there memories of his mother doing the same when he was a child.
Because Shane rolls his eyes at her and groans about how embarrassing she's being and a small part of Ilya is jealous, just for a moment, because Irina isn't there to be embarrassing to Ilya anymore and he aches and he wants.
Because David listens to Ilya rant over a bowl of ice cream about how he fucked up during the Cens' last game and the man smiles kindly at him as he pats his shoulder gently and tells him, "You'll get it right next time, son," and Ilya has to blink really hard and shovel some more ice cream in his mouth so he doesn't start bawling because even when he played well, his father never had a kind word to say to him.
Because Shane scooches his chair closer to David's at the breakfast table so he can look over that day's crossword and work on it together, and Ilya's brow furrows, heart heavy, as he wonders why his father could never be bothered to include Ilya in anything he liked, why he never tried to show an ounce of interest in the things Ilya liked.
Because the thing is... having a second family, a soul family, a found family, is great. It's the greatest gift on earth. And it matters so fucking much. But there will always be a part of you that wishes you'd had that from the start, that can't help but wonder why you got saddled with the parents who didn’t care or why your own had to leave you so soon or what you did wrong as a child to get what you got but right as an adult to have now what you didnt then.
Give me an Ilya who loves the Hollanders and has a family in them and knows it but who can't help but feel like an outsider still at times, at random moments when something they do just hits this side of wrong and it makes Ilya want to cry and hide.
And give me a Shane, a Yuna, a David who hold him through it and love him just as fiercely and unconditionally as before, who don't hold it against him.
Give me a Shane who feels so broken up about it, so irrationally guilty for having had such wonderful parents his whole life, who tells Ilya one day, very quietly with tears in his eyes, "If I could give them to you, I would."
And give me an Ilya who snaps his head up with a terrified look in his eyes and scrambles to hold Shane's face tightly between his palms as he says, firmly, "No, Shane. I would not wish this on you. Ever. Not you." Because he'd rather feel like this forever than have Shane know even a tenth of the pain of not having parents (good ones or not at all).
And then give me an Ilya who fights through those feelings just enough, just for a moment, to find that love and acceptance he never thought he'd get to feel and admit that, "Besides, you already gave them to me. You've given me so much."
Ilya being jealous of Rose having sex with Shane is hysterical because
What Ilya thinks was happening: passionate, steamy, soul-bonding kind of sex that he and Shane had
What was actually happening: dick game so bad Rose clocked Shane's gayness
Shane: My parents walking in on me and my situationship is my worst nightmare.
Shane, two minutes later: Actually my worst nightmare now is my maybe-boyfriend explaining to my parents we've been fuckbuddies for like a decade before making it official. Shut the fuck up, Ilya.
yeah yeah shane's lustful eyes are hilariously obvious here but yk why that's important?? bc ilya sees proof for the first time in months that shane still wants him. one of his biggest fears about shane dating rose was that shane wouldn't need/want him anymore. that if ilya texted him this would be the first time shane wouldn't text back. and while he does learn at the bar that shane and rose aren't together anymore he still doesn't have actual confirmation that shane is still interested in him. maybe he'll just find another woman, maybe he'll start sleeping with men, ilya doesn't KNOW they haven't talked in MONTHS but in this scene its literally written all over shane's face how much he wants ilya and THAT'S why ilya's smiling like that that's why he opens up to shane again bc now he knows shane wants him. and thats all ilya ever wanted.
chat who are we choosing for our hbo icons i can’t decide between shane and svetlana

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Ottawa Mayor Mark Sutcliffe has officially declared January 29th 2026 as ‘Shane Hollander Day’ in Ottawa (x)
Shane: When I first met him, I told him he was an awesome player to watch, and you know what he said?
Hayden: What?
Shane: 'Yes.' He said 'Yes'.
Hayden: What a fucking asshole.
Shane: I know, right? I can't believe I'm going to sleep with him.
Hayden: I mean...you don't have to.
Shane: No, I'm gonna.
What makes episode 5 so incredible in my opinion is that Shane never asks for more. He says "you feel it too, right?" and "I can no longer pretend I don't like you". He never says "I want more from you", which is a very standard thing people say when they want more out of a relationship.
Later in the episode we learn that something that kills Ilya is that everyone who never appreciated him always asks for "more, more, more". Shane hears that but doesn't understand, of course. It doesn't matter that Ilya said it, because Shane didn't understand it. And yet, he never asks Ilya for more. Even when he asks Ilya to come to his cottage, it's not "do this for me", it's "it is going to be nice, you will be able to be yourself, to rest" and what Ilya hears is "I just want you, close to me. As you are. As the person you have been for 10 years. I just want you" and now im crying
Oh my god you are SO RIGHT @thedoubteriswise
[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: #Ugh #god also reminds me that while he told shane in english that he couldn't go back to russia if he came out #he tells him later in russian that he never wants to go back #and shane's invitation specifically emphasizes "don't go to russia. come to my house" #which is exactly the choice ilya is saying he wants to make in a conversation shane couldn't even understand! #they're fighting for their lives trying to communicate but they're so right for each other it's working out anyway /End ID]
something that’s so real to me is how heated rivalry shows that they cum fast. like obv there’s also montages and whatever indicating that they take their time. but genuinely it’s so real that the minute ilya gets shane’s dick down his throat shane’s immediately fighting for his life trying to make it last as long as possible only for it to be like. what. less than a minute?? incredible. perfect. absolutely amazing. you don’t really see that v often yk
"Tu fais partie de mes raisons d'aimer la vie" (Shane & Ilya)

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I wonder what Yuna and David would think if they knew that the very romantic "since rookie season--no summer before" is technically accurate but includes the TWO YEARS Ilya spent flirting, sexting, and practically begging their son for that ass while Shane gave him nothing.
[Image: the face of a man who's about to get what he's longed for.]