I think it is very helpful to be able to distinguish between a level or type of fear where it is acceptable or worthwhile to "push through" and "do it scared," and a level or type of fear where this is harmful.
The idea of "anxiety" as a disorder of a person having inappropriate fear responses to harmless or safe things causes a framework where the impact of fear is measured by the person's ability to "function" and outwardly respond in "normal" ways, not their internal experience of suffering.
At a certain level of fear, "pushing through" or "doing it scared" loses its power to alleviate fear and instead creates another acutely negative experience of helplessness that increases the fear in future.
Likewise, if a person is extremely, inescapably afraid, telling them that they must "get better" by learning to tolerate and push through fear encourages dissociation and judgmental, domination-based attitudes toward the body, and reinforces the idea that existence itself is negative and scary
I've been given a lot of ideas for how to sense this distinction from notes on my posts, but i have to refine them.
Characteristics of "manageable" fear where "pushing through" might be productive:
Breathing exercises and other "coping skills" calm you down to some extent.
You still feel somewhat connected and responsive to your surroundings and your body, and you can drift between paying attention to different things.
Your memory of the event feels relatively normal (?)
The negative feelings and bodily symptoms resolve quickly do not last after the event is over.
Characteristics of fear that is extreme and severe enough that it needs to be addressed in a different way:
"Coping skills" do not help you to feel any better.
Paying attention to anything is difficult; it's hard to hold a conversation with someone and comprehend what they are saying to you.
Your memory of the event is extremely fixated on a small detail or aspect of it, or you can't remember the event clearly at all.
You feel like you're being pulled out of your body or that your body is limp and being dragged through the scary thing.
The way the fear is making you feel in your body is extremely distressing and unpleasant in of itself (severe nausea, sensations of suffocation, painful bodily tension)
The sensory memory of the event is extremely vivid and keeps replaying itself in your mind.
You do not experience a sense of relief after the event is over.
not sure how to expand this list but I think it's a good start
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