By You, I’m Forever Undone.

You sure know how to make a girl feel special on her birthday.

WC: 347/347

The ER was cyclical, repetitive. Even when every day was different, some things were certain as the sun setting each night. People would come in overreacting about something minor, people would come in underreacting about something major, and sometimes, people died. The scales were mostly in balance in a way that didn’t cling to you when you left. That was just the way things were.

But sometimes the deaths didn’t add up just right. Sometimes it was unfair in a way that rattled Mel’s brain against her skull. She tried desperately to make the math make sense. The minutes spent doing compressions divided by the number of doctors and nurses swarming like ants around a melting drop of ice cream on hot pavement. Take that and multiply by the age of the patient, the lower that number, the more it hurt. It made sense when the nursing home bed checks brought in people whose light was already flickering, but to see a young life snuffed out always clouded the rest of the day.

She’d seen her fair share of college students lost to drugs and car accidents. It made her want to stand at the fountain on campus and scream in their faces to be more careful. It made her chest tight and her hands shake every time they lined the hallway, a solemn parade as the gurney was wheeled away for organ donation. Something unthinkable turning into a beacon of hope for multiple other lives nearing the end. Maybe that’s where the balance came in. Maybe her singular life was worth something when she thought about all the faces lit up with relief because of her care and knowledge.

A warm hand on her shoulder pulled her from her thoughts.

“It shouldn’t get easier,” Doctor Langdon’s voice was low in her ear.

Mel sniffed and realized she had silent tears racing down her cheeks.

“It means you still care,” he squeezed her shoulder.

this post is like 11 years old

hey