Fox_Playing_Games

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

yeah sure whatever

@vlskrwren @theirkenshavethetardis @the-irken-pony

it's very important that you're friends with furries and trannies and faggots and freaks and perverts it's good for your soul

reblorg if you're a furry, a tranny, a faggot, a freak and/or a pervert!

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

Official joy and whimsy post

just remembered that my middle school bullies were named Chase and Hunter. what was up with that. what was going on there.

the best fruits are hardest to open

this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

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OOPS TOO DEEP

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