Untiled

@hyumjim

what if they were just like "okay" and wedged it in again

peeling a clementine is so easy. it comes so naturally. its inviting… the clementine WANTS to be peeled. its melancholic, sanguine… but an orange? whats an orange but a nuisance… the orange torments and mocks with its brute strength. it exists only to create chaos. next time you decide to indulge in a citrus delight, heed my word. choose the clementine 

yas queen sabatoge your life girl!

Mutuals please be aware I am walking between your desks and dropping lolly pops and small cards in your cardboard mailboxes as I go around

enough girlbossing . girlemployees . attack

the way men think eating meat feeds into their masculinity is so fucking funny like miss thing you didn’t wrestle that shit with your bare hands you took your dumpy ass to costco in your wife’s pt cruiser you might as well be a drag queen at this point

keep rebloggin fake ice eaters r gettin mad

Boys lie so damn much. They can say “good morning” to me & I have to check to see if the sun is out.

this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”

i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it

bon appetit -> bone apple teeth -> bone ??? ??? -> osteoporosis

I remain unsurprised at how normalized it is to NOT raise kids on respect and care.