Founding Fatherfest

There comes a time when fandom becomes less of an escape from anxiety to being the source of anxiety. Sometimes I need to remind myself what’s important to focus on, and I made this chart to help me with that. 

the 2% of my brain that isn’t actively sabotaging me: do your assignments. read a book. take a fucking shower

me:

For the original ask, requesting the definition of squick, please see this post.

Squick is a fun term that was often used as both a noun and a verb. Either X was one of your squicks, or X squicked you, or squicked you out, or squicked you hard.

It was often used in fic exchanges. They would ask for a list of your squicks so that the gifting author would know not to include any hint of them. It was also used in casual conversation with fandom friends, authors, artists, etc. It could be left in comments, or as a reason you just didn’t read your best fandom friend’s latest fic. “Sorry, bff, you know I love your writing, but you have X tagged at the top, and that just squicks me out.” “Hey, no worries, best reader friend! I totally get it. Give this one a pass, but I’ll send you a note when I post my next one! I promise it will be totally X-free!”

Here’s the thing though. In your example, you explain why X is your squick with Y. But the beauty of squick was that (at least in my experience) no explanation was necessary. Not only was it not necessary, it was rarely asked for. A squick is a squick, and there doesn’t have to be any rhyme or reason. In fact, why would you have a rational, bullet-pointed, well-thought-out argument as to why something squicked you out? Very often it’s a visceral reaction, and if you don’t like the thing, you’re likely not going to sit and do deep meditation on why not.

Squicks were respected by fandom. You don’t like the thing, okay, we will tag the thing appropriately, you do not have to read the thing, no judgments on either side. There was no fandom policing, only respect.

And this, I think, is super important, because fandom policing is a problem, especially when it comes to triggers. “Trigger” has become so overused, so all-encompassing, that people feel they have to defend their legitimate triggers. If X triggers you, it triggers you, and you DO NOT need to provide an explanation. But because “trigger” is so often used in place of “squick,” some people feel they have the right to “call out” those who use the word. They want explanations, they want you to tell them what that triggering concept does to you, so they can call bullshit and feel superior. You don’t have to explain either your squicks or your triggers, but using the correct word stops the fandom police from feeling as though they have the right to ask.

#the beauty of squick was that it offered no moral judgement#merely a statement of personal taste#and let you estate when something just wasn’t your cup of tea#without having to justify it#plenty of things squick me out in fic which are absolutely not triggers#but now there’s a real culture of having to justify not liking stuff on a moral basis (via clarias)

the culture of justifying dislike on an ideological/moral basis in part one: chapter one of my novel, Let Me Show You My Issues With Tumblr Fandom. the requirement for ideological purity has become so impossibly strict, and is valued so highly, that tearing the thing you dislike from an ideological standpoint is the quickest way to shut it down. it’s a cheap, disingenuous shortcut that exploits social justice language for personal leverage. it’s not like we were free of wankery and ship wars back in ye olde lj days, god, far from it, but at least the insults we flung at each other were subjective: A is so bad for B and if you can’t see that you’re an idiot!!! B/C OTP!!! (i should also disclaim that we did have moral policing as well, it was just FAR less extensive.) leveraging social justice concepts is an attempt to gain a kind of objective superiority. “they’re a dark ship and i don’t like that” holds little power; “they’re abusive and you support abuse by shipping this” is a trump card to shut down the content you don’t like and the people who fan it. that kind of rhetoric is all over the damn place and it continues to be propagated because it works and it has created a culture from which a variety of problems like the trigger issue explained above consistently arise. 

…i would go into further chapters on my novel but i am tired now

laylainalaska:

ibroketuesday:

#the beauty of squick was that it offered no moral judgement#merely a statement of personal taste#and let you estate when something just wasn’t your cup of tea#without having to justify it#plenty of things squick me out in fic which are absolutely not triggers#but now there’s a real culture of having to justify not liking stuff on a moral basis (via clarias)

the culture of justifying dislike on an ideological/moral basis in part one: chapter one of my novel, Let Me Show You My Issues With Tumblr Fandom. the requirement for ideological purity has become so impossibly strict, and is valued so highly, that tearing the thing you dislike from an ideological standpoint is the quickest way to shut it down. it’s a cheap, disingenuous shortcut that exploits social justice language for personal leverage. it’s not like we were free of wankery and ship wars back in ye olde lj days, god, far from it, but at least the insults we flung at each other were subjective: A is so bad for B and if you can’t see that you’re an idiot!!! B/C OTP!!! (i should also disclaim that we did have moral policing as well, it was just FAR less extensive.) leveraging social justice concepts is an attempt to gain a kind of objective superiority. “they’re a dark ship and i don’t like that” holds little power; “they’re abusive and you support abuse by shipping this” is a trump card to shut down the content you don’t like and the people who fan it. that kind of rhetoric is all over the damn place and it continues to be propagated because it works and it has created a culture from which a variety of problems like the trigger issue explained above consistently arise. 

…i would go into further chapters on my novel but i am tired now

…

I can’t really think of any other words we have for the same concept that aren’t judgmental to some extent. Anything I can think of to try to define “squick” using non-slangy words (disgusting, unpleasant, etc) have a judgy sort of vibe. And we really do need a word to talk about tropes and kinks in the same kind of way we can talk about how you like that ship and I like this ship but that doesn’t make your ship bad.

(Er, ideally we’d be able to talk about ships that way, obviously, in a perfect world … XD)

I was also thinking about how the original ask implies a very modern fannish mindset that’s just … not there, in the original fandom milieu that the squick concept came out of. Not that I’m saying fandom was better in the old days or anything, god no. But trying to explain why you have a squick, or asking someone else why they have theirs, is just not a thing you’d generally do. Squicks are irrational; that’s baked into the meaning of the word. Squicks aren’t something you explain. They just are. I mean, you could obviously try to figure it out, just like you can try to figure out why you have a particular kink, but in both cases, you don’t have to explain or justify it in order for other people to accept it as valid. I don’t need to explain that I like h/c for X and Y reasons in order to request it in an exchange. And squick functions the same way.

All of which makes it a very useful word for talking about fandom concepts without implying that someone else’s tastes make them a bad person!

I think the thing I love most about the term squick is that it’s not meant to be judgmental to either party. It’s a respectful acknowledgement of non-negotiable dislikes. It doesn’t question why someone likes things anymore than it questions why someone doesn’t like the same thing. It’s not about quality. It says, simply: some of my preferences aren’t discourse-fodder, they are what they are and don’t need to be explained. I hope you can respect that.

If you recommend a fic that has a non-canon pet death* in it and I tell you, I don’t like that because I think it’s manipulative or maybe I don’t think the writer can write the scenario believably etc… then we’re having a discussion. If I tell you I’m squicked by pet death in fics, then we’re not having a discussion. I shouldn’t have to explain to you why I’m squicked by non-canon pet death in fic. Saying that’s my squick is enough.

By that same token, I don’t need to know why you love something that squicks me, though I understand the impulse to want to justify that love. It’s natural to think: I love this and I want to tell you about it. And this is why we have tumblrs, no? To share our loves. But it’s important to keep in mind that it’s personal to the person who is squicked and has nothing to do with you or your taste. It’s not about you at all.

If you want to write or read about something but it’s my squick, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, just that it’s not for me–this shouldn’t be a deterrent to creating fanwork or enjoying it. There are plenty of other fanworks out there that we can discuss that don’t come close to being squick.

I understand there sometimes ARE no reasons, but not why you need an etiquette rule that makes it taboo to ASK for them.

Also, I think that to assume that the only reason anyone would ask why you think x is so that they can call bullshit and laugh at you is a foregone and misantropic conclusion. It could actually just be because they are interested in your opinion.

I mean, if I say have a squick for, say, a particular sexual act in erotic fiction, feel free to exercise your free speech and try to engage me in a debate about why that sexual act is totally hot in fic. But it will be a waste of your time, cause I’ll just say, “Well, I’m glad you get enjoyment out of that content but I still don’t like it.”

‘But what do I know’

Not the actual definition of squick I guess?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe some more research will help inform that ‘ignorant mind‘ you’re dealing with.

You’ve been struck by….

…a small mineral.