fill the empty.

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes

power move: exclusively referring to sports played by women as “sports” and all the men’s sports exclusively as “men’s sports”

referring to athletes who are women as “athletes” and athletes who are men as “male athletes”

Picture this: it’s 2007, you’re on your family computer on stardoll.com listening to Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne on repeat. Your ringtone is I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry. You somehow don’t realize you’re not straight.

“who ARE you” 

I’m just tryin to own some dogs and marry the girl of my dreams.

Exactly!

Oh my god is this a cat or a sheep?

a shat

Dont call it that please

Friends can break your heart too man and that shit hurts like hell

This made it 100% better 😍