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on hiatus but i will be back âĽď¸

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To me, the most angering part of Jacob forcing himself on Bella isnât the kiss itself, though that was obviously awful. What made me want to throw my book across the room was how he acted after. Instead of immediately backtracking when Bella literally broke her hand hitting him in the face, he continued to act like he was in the right, saying stuff like, âI know youâll be thinking about it tonightâ and âI bet it was better than kissing a statue.â Pissed me off so much.
(on todayâs episode of things no one asked me but iâm going to answer anyway) and the absolute worst part of that whole debacle is Charlie all but fist bumps Jacob even after Bella makes it clear she did not consent to the kiss. CHARLIE the literal chief of police who has power in matters like i dunno domestic abuse cases or SA cases. Charlieâs own daughter is telling him she broke her hand after a boy forced himself on her and Charlie TAKES THE BOYâS SIDE?????
I like making fun of twilight as much as the next guy, but I do also do love the series, so sometimes it's hard to not scream when the most popular criticisms I see are 1) Just Stupid and 2) Just Misogynistic. If I see one more person going on and on about how Renee and Bella are terrible mothers I'm actually gonna tear someone's hair out.
Like. It started out with people stanning Charlie bc he's funny in the movies and some people think his actor is hot. Fair enough! But it's completely morphed into this thing where people are 1000% unironically like "Charlie is an amazing father who had his daughter ripped from him multiple times and Renee is a completely fucking narcissistic neglectful mother and that's why Bella makes choices I don't like" and like GENUINELY shut the fuck up. There is NO textual evidence of Renee being a bad parent, and there's TONS of textual evidence that Charlie IS a bad parent!!!
I'm not saying Renee is the greatest mother of all time- she had an unplanned baby when she was like, 20?? and had almost no support system. But that woman ADORES her daughter. Bella and her are best friends. They do everything together. Bella describes them as constantly going on weekend adventures, road trips, concerts, ghost hunting, random classes, book clubs. Renee can read Bella SO well- she ALWAYS knows what she's thinking, even over the phone, you don't reach that level of awareness by neglecting your kid. She's described as overprotective and a worrier. She'd drop everything and come running for Bella, wants to multiple times, but ultimately she knows Bella has a strong personality and a good head on her shoulders so she allows her to make her own decisions. She supports Bella 100%.
CHARLIE, meanwhile. He originally had custody of Bella in the summers while Renee had the school year- sure, not a perfect split of custody, but when you live in different states it's the best you can hope for. Bella describes these summers as depressing and boring. Charlie doesn't talk to her. They sit in silence and watch TV. He goes fishing with Billy and leaves Bella to hang out with Rachel and Rebecca, because he assumes they'll get along by nature of them all being girls. She doesn't have any friends there. They don't eat anything home cooked. Her bedroom hasn't been redecorated from a nursery. She's miserable! She says that by the time she was 12 (maybe 13), she flat out refused to go there for the summers anymore. So what does Charlie do? Give up his full summer custody to spend a two week vacation with her somewhere else!
HE GAVE UP JOINT CUSTODY OF HIS DAUGHTER AND REDUCED HIS TIME WITH HER TO TWO WEEKS OUT OF A YEAR!!!
I'm NOT saying Charlie should have moved or anything- but Forks was not the real problem there. Bella was miserable bc of CHARLIE'S ACTIONS (or rather, lackthereof) and instead of listening to her and making a change to actually engage with her, he said OKAY I'LL JUST SEE YOU TWO WEEKS OUT OF THE YEAR!! But guys it's okay because he's sad about it :( aww he's just an innocent sweet dad who deserves his daughter but she's being kept from him by his bitch ex!! Awww :(
This is the exact same way he lost his damn wife! This happens because he refuses to do any fucking self-reflection!! He refuses to listen to the women in his life!
And apart from this- I will truly never forgive that man for LAUGHING when Jacob forced himself on Bella. When Bella was almost GANG RAPED she was more confident in her ability to fight them off than her ability to run away. She has been in self defense classes for years, probably at her cop dad's urging. CHARLIE KNOWS that BELLA KNOWS how to THROW A PUNCH. And he hears that she was in a position where she was so upset she BROKE HER HAND TRYING TO GET OUT OF IT. and his response is to laugh and tell Jacob "good for you". That is SO genuinely one of the most fucked up scenes in the series to me. And then he's mad at EDWARD for defending her?!?!
Bella does all the cooking, cleaning and shopping for the house- not because she necessarily enjoys it, but Charlie just genuinely doesn't do anything for himself. The one time he attempts to make dinner for her he blows up the fucking microwave. Barely a month after Bella moves out, he's got Sue Clearwater practically moved in and doing everything for him!!! The widow of his best friend who died like six months prior!!! Bitch you should be helping HER out?!?!
He loves Bella. He understands he's supposed to protect her (making her take self defense classes, telling her not to ride motorcycles, putting snow chains on her car) but beyond that? He's fucking lazy. He doesn't know anything about his daughter and it's entirely his own fault. He refuses to put in the effort to be involved in her life.
Again I KNOW he's funny in the movie. But it's genuinely gotten to a point where when I see people liking Charlie it's a red flag telling me I'm about to read a ridiculously misogynistic take on Bella and her mom.
And there is NOTHING to suggest Bella is going to be a bad mother to Nessie!!! These people are always going on about how she's too wrapped up in Edward to pay attention to her kid, that's she selfish, that she wanted to be a boy mom. Genuinely where are you getting any of this!!! She actively chooses that baby over Edward by deciding to continue the pregnancy!! The reason she doesn't scream during her transformation is because she doesn't want to scare her baby! She gets through it by imagining holding her baby! The entire back half of break dawn is her having an ongoing panic attack over how quickly Nessie is growing! She goes behind Edward's back to set up contingency plans to protect Nessie if they die! She spends the whole book fiercely protective of Nessie!
Just because she has sex with her husband at night while the baby is asleep does not make her a bad mom!!! Her being surprised her intuition was wrong about it being a boy does not make her a bad mom! Her letting Rosalie spend time with the baby does not make her a bad mom!
And while we're here Edward's not a pedophile. Nothing makes me lose respect for a person's opinion faster than someone trying to start age gap discourse on a ship where one of the characters is IMMORTAL and FROZEN IN TIME PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY AT A CERTAIN AGE. he's 17! shut up!!!
freud really did oedipus so dirty. like i get that you're trying to come up with a deeply terrible psychological framework regarding sexual abuse, but oedipus very much did not want to fuck his mom OR kill his dad. like, the entire myth is predicated on this. an "oedipal complex" should be someone who is hellbent on avoiding fucking their mom.
i just feel like oedipus is mostly treated as vaguely taboo, like he's a fucked up monster, and NOT like he's basically the same as any other greek hero. he's roughly as moral and strong and clever and whatever as achilles or jason or hercules or whatever, he just ALSO is a guy the gods fucking hated.
actually its kinda fitting that freud made so many theories that mostly tried to link socially deviant behavior and weird fetishes and sexual abuse, and he decided to name that shit after a guy who very notably did not engage in weird fetishes or sexual abuse and had nothing but wholesome filial love for the people who raised him, but was doomed to be thought of that way anyway by his people. basically anyone with an "oedipus complex" didnt actually have that shit going on either, freud was just a hack.
anyway here's my new mental health framework: cassandra complex, where you just fucking lie all the time and everyone knows it and hates you for it.
Call it the Lestat complex

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and while weâre talking about charlie swanâs failures, letâs talk about his complete failure to notice anything weird or strange about the highly questionable bond between jacob and renesmee. this man watches an unrelated 16 year old boy constantly stare at his infant granddaughter with heart shaped eyes and sees nothing wrong with it. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT IMPRINTING. WHAT DOES HE THINK IS GOING ON THERE?
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If you write a fic in which Edward Cullen becomes human again and his first priority isnât getting a flu vaccine youâve lost the plot
Now what would be an interesting turn of events would be if Esme attacked Bella in New Moon. Sweet, motherly, lovable Esme who never really leaves the house to be around humans - she doesnât even have her own car.
How immune is she to the scent of blood? Jasper is in school every day where I know people are bleeding. But esme?
Picture the party ending in New Moon with Emmett and Jasper holding back their heart-faced mum, and suddenly the lovely Esme is very much a vampire and Bella is looking her future in the face

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remember when stephanie meyers was so desperate to tie up the loose ends of her love triangle that the paired off the extra dude with the coupleâs newborn baby
it wasnât even desperation, it was the original plan. the love triangle was the last-minute addition.
How nice would it be if Smeyer made the whole imprinting-on-Renesmee WAIT for it to happen like 50 years later when Bella and Edward went back to forks to give/live with their (now full grown) daughter the high-school experience they had and talked about her whole life, and then they were surprised meeting a still-wolf Jacob because heâd never opted out of that life because of the feeling that something was never complete with him. So when the Cullens (but now Edward would be Swan because Bella was Cullen and he definitely wouldnât accept not being attached to her name wise somehow) reached for the chief on the reservation, theyâd deal with Jacob, who they havenât contacted ever since departed from Fork less than a year after the Volturi appearance (despite Bellaâs efforts on calling and trying to reach her friend for almost a whole decade). They COULD have solved the whole werewolf conflict by reaching and understanding, introducing Renesmee to Sam and all that shit, even if Jacob was adamant in refusing to know the baby and didnât set eyes on her (or even if he did, the whole imprinting thing SHOULD JUST WAIT FOR HAPPENING! Since is something related to DNA and best-mate-for-procreation shit⌠which also means Renesmee probably could have kids?).
Anyway, Jacob stayed and would have fought because he felt so strongly about Bella that he realized she deserved happiness and she was happy, and she should be, but he avoided her after the Cullen left because he desired to also move on (as Bella did in NM)⌠and he lived and he was happy enough. He dated, he pursued hobbies, he enjoyed life enough⌠but not quite enough, something was missing and he felt he should wait. So he waited. Until that call that brought back memories, and with them, the realization that he had overcome those feelings for that girl he met when he was just a kid, because a small part of him, really small, feared that she was the reason he couldnât feel whole. She wasnât.
Anyway, imagine THAT? Wouldnât it be sweet? Like a 5th whole book exploring that story?
ââNo, Jake,â I moaned. âWhat if we ran away? Just you and me. What if we left home, and left Sam behind?â // âItâs not something I can run away from, Bella,â he whispered. âI would run with you, though, if I could.ââ
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Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible
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How do we feel about Edward killing Charles Evenson?
Like, not morally necessarily, the guy was an abuser, no sympathy for him. It just always struck me as a strange and interesting choice on SM's part.
Because previously she had described Edward's vigilante era as him taking out people who were actively doing harm. He was preventing other people being killed by killing the would-be killers. He would hear in their minds what they were planning and then he would take them out before they could do it.
But Charles? That's revenge. I mean I guess it's possible he's still out there being cruel and abusive, but that's not why Edward killed him. Edward sought him out. He didn't like, just happen to cross his path and overhear that he was planning to do something bad. It's pretty clear he hunted him down to avenge Esme.
Like I said, interesting!
There's also the timing of it? Edward leaves in 1927. Esme has been with the family since 1921. So that's six years. If Esme wanted revenge, she had plenty of time to do it herself like Rosalie did. The fact that Charles was still alive six years into Esme's vampiric existence suggests, to me, that she didn't care about revenge.
IDK it's just interesting to me. Like SM wanted this shining moment of Edward avenging his beloved mother but the mother herself didn't seem interested in that kind of revenge so who was he really doing this for?
I think this is very realistic actually. You have people in your life, whose thoughts and feelings you know. And you know they were hurt, and you know they were wronged, and they suffer for it constantly, but of course they donât want revenge and wouldnât do anything about it; they are just changed by these traumas. Sometimes, they donât even hate the person that caused them.
But you do, you hate the person that wronged them and would do anything to stop them and make it right, you think it is unacceptable this happened to them and that the person faced no consequences.
Kind of how we tolerate wrongful treatment or hard situations in ourselves but if we imagine our family or friends undergoing it, we see it as unacceptable and feel this complete distaste for it happening to them.

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I wonder what it was like for Jacob on the rez after he got the Cullens to stay in Forks. So many people in the tribe and in the pack hated the Cullens, and they were probably planning the biggest party to celebrate the Cullens leaving. And then Jacob decides the Cullens canât leave and reveals a tribe secret to an outsider in order to force them to stay. And then a bunch of vamps arrive at the Cullensâ house to potentially help fight a war against other vampires a few months later, which wouldnât be happening in Forks if the Cullens had left like they planned to. People may be more understanding because he imprinted, but I imagine that people werenât happy with him for a while.