whoa dude!

Follow for recipes

and thought “ah okay, so like probably just some normal guy with a slight-to-moderate looking eccentricity about him” brother i

Heathcliff has been painting and sculpting robot nudes at least since 2018. he’s been exploring this subject for 8 years now. if you go digging, you can see other comics where people struggle reconciling the idea of a naked robot whenever he displays his artwork but that’s not our discussion point. we are going to examine the two most important women in heathcliffs life: Grandma Nutmeg and Sonja

you see, Heathcliff has a long-term situationship with Sonja. they’ve known each other basically since the beginning and they are always chasing each other but it’s not exactly what you would call a dedicated monogamous relationship. I don’t even think they are official. so it’s no surprise that Heathcliff the artist sees a dedicated area for one of his artistic subjects and he gets a little curious. at first, the idea is so foreign and repulsive that he walks away in disgust. but that doesn’t stop him from producing his robot nudes.

he even starts incorporating Sonja into his process, into the creation and display of his work. in order to express a new robot, without a direct nude reference in front of him, he works to translate Sonja into the robotic form. he is projecting a naked robot onto his will-they-won’t-they. as he approaches the art gallery, you can see how he is eating up the attention, how he is being affected by success.

this is how we end up at today’s comic strip. rather than being present and loving with his girlfriend, he is obsessing over the robotic image that he projects onto her. and we know he did not use to think this way, he seems to keep a firm separation the first time they are strolling with their robots together but it really does seem like his experience at the beach changed his appraisal of the robot form.

as for Grandma nutmeg, she serves as the explainer for the feelings of Sonja , a source of sympathy and a voice for the voiceless.

she also serves as the sort of original sin. there are panels where the robots do not have fig leaves over their crotches. she is the one who puts the initial concept of nudity onto the form of a created life, literally mirroring the outcome of the original sin. we see that play out here with Heathcliff gaining the knowledge of true robot nudity at a natural environment rather than the sterile studio space of his art. the image never leaves his mind and he keeps working to refine his art over and over through the years and eventually fully supplants his girlfriend’s identity in his own mind.

this is actually the earliest example I think I have in my little compilation here and it is one of the ones with no leaf.

Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues

According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

Aaand a close-up:

HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

spin this wheel to see your pokemon type

spin this one to see how you'll look like