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Buran Orbiter

Borzoi

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

Grabs a sharpie and adds “And Neither Do We”

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

fucking the text man for texts one of society's most influential works

the delicate art of cracking someone's egg honestly has a lot of parallels to trying to help a friend who you think might be in an abusive relationship

the egg prime directive is stupid as fuck because yes, you don't just assume based on incomplete information that your friend is in an abusive relationship and then try to force them out of it, but you don't just fucking do nothing either. you have to employ finesse

i think being able to summon telekinetic disembodied porn hands would kind of rule

WHEN! i get invited to join the x-men that will be my power

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

one hundred and seventy dollars

Does she have a little bed in front of the heating vent there