Let's get weird

firm believer in post-canon stan ponytail

Well, do you know the trope i love? It's Stancest.

Young Stans who found out what being close was really like during heated summer nights. Who became ruined for everyone else, who became, in their opinions, greedy and started to want more than just the other's body. Stan who was sure that Ford had a future as bright as his smiles, was sure that the last thing he needed was his good-for-nothing brother's love. Stan, whose heart crumbled just a little further every time Ford mentioned West Coast Tech. Ford who was sure that Stan had the perfect conditions to pursue a perfectly normal life; a wife, kids and a job. He was just ruining what he could get from his brother with this hopeless, impossible thought that Stan might love him back, and why did he want him in the first place? It was just another unnatural, abnormal, freakish thing about him, what he had for his brother, and he was sure Stan would open his eyes and realize that at any moment. Brothers who fell apart after the incident, both sure that the other hated him.

Brothers who faced each other after a decade, Ford saying "Get as far as possible." when all he wanted to do was to pull the last person he trusted into his arms, and never let him go. Stan, who put up a fight when all he wanted to do was fall on his knees and beg Ford to let him stay, to have him back.

Brothers, who watched as their whole worlds slipped away from their hands.

Brothers who reunited after half a lifetime. Who were too afraid and stubborn and in denial that they never had the courage to do what they needed. Who kissed and fucked but never stopped the rumble of hate and hurt and confusion that buried them. Never resolved anything. Ford who took his brother’s memories with his own hands, Stan who didn't know who the man in front of him was. Ford who thought he lost all chance to be with him anything more than a brother, who never spoke about them. Them, the halves of a full heart.

ford is so mad he doesn't come home for a few summers maybe even post grad (bums it with fidds) finally he has to go home, hes still mad at stan cause ford is a bitch who holds grudges, but still expects stanley to grovel for forgiveness, but when he gets home stan barely even looks at him.

stan has to earn his keep in the house so besides a couple of odd jobs here and there, and with all these years with no phone call or letters from ford, stan basically gives up on reconciliation with ford and eventually turns all his attention into raising shermie who is like 4-6 at this point.

ford is like what the fuck and he is so jealous and silently seething while stan is too busy with the baby to care about fords temper tantrum and eventually he blows up and realizes that HE WANTS TO BE STANLEYS BABY SO BAD

Ford will rub Stan's face to help him fall asleep if he knows that Stan is going through a nightmare, is sick, or working through a repressed memory. It's something he has always done for Stan.

Stan has a hard time falling asleep on the boat initially because he has been sleeping to the sounds of the forest for over 30 years. Ford makes him a one-of-a-kind white noise machine of sounds from Gravity Falls forest to play on the ship.

The amount of times that they have been caught in the middle of nookie by the anomaly they were trying to find is astonishing and worrying. Ford wonders if it's the weirdness/taboo of their relationship that draws them close. Stan figures that they're just a bunch of perverts.

They both will bring a chair into the bathroom and watch the other take a shower simply because they don't like being far away from each other and because they like to watch. It doesn't have to be sexual, they just like watching the act of domesticity.

Ford is a "I am exactly where I want to be" kinda guy when it comes to pushing Stan's buttons. He wants the rough treatment, the scolding, the tossing about. He wants to be grabbed by the collar of his sweater and shook around like a doll and then slammed up against the nearest wall.

Ford also likes to ragebait Stanley because it means that Stan hasn't grown apathetic towards him, which he knows that Stan can become toward anything and anyone at anytime. He's worried that if Stan stops reacting then he'll stop caring and if Stan stops caring, he'll go insane with grief. What Ford fails to realize is that Stan has never and could never become bored or apathetic about Ford. In fact, Ford is the one thing that Stan has always been enthusiastic about, even when it comes to things he doesn't understand or care about.

They peck each other all of the time. On the forehead, on the cheek, on the nose, on the ear, on the eyelid. They just love giving each other little kisses through out the day. They once tried butterfly kisses but it just ended with them doing one of these

and they couldn't stop laughing at how stupid they looked.

They both love being handsy when they know they shouldn't be, especially when they're trying to work or talk to someone. Their favorite is when the other is on a call because that means they can slide all up on them and give fleeting kisses or little nips or get touchy, trying to rile up the other. They both like to act that it doesn't get to them as much as it does but they're always trying to rush through the conversation by the end of it.

Neither of them can get into video porn. They prefer their centerfolds. Now that doesn't mean they haven't tried to watch some together to heighten the mood but for whatever reason, whether it's the bad acting or the cheesy music or the constant "hey that looks like you" *It's a guy with a really bad mustache* or *Inanimate object*, they just end up laughing through it rather than getting off.

That being said, Ford covets the lost artifact of the Hunky Drifters magazine that Stan was the centerfold for. Ford doesn't know that Stan has a few stowed away back a the cabin and hope to surprise him next summer when they have to split.

Stan tends to overcompensate and undervalue the effort he puts in to make Ford happy. It's a bad combo that has lead to one or more less than playful fights about Stan's self esteem. Stan's fear is that Ford will start seeing him as dead weight again, someone that couldn't achieve anything in life, and hoping that by being everything Ford could want or need that he won't be tossed aside as quickly as he thinks. Ford would rather cut off his 6th fingers than ever give up Stan.

They have to nose kiss when they go out into the artic tundra for research. Stan makes a "honk" sound every time they nose kiss.

They constantly argue whether or not a photo is "Too Incestious" to send to the kids or Stan's family back in Gravity Falls. Stan is on the side of "Normal brothers don't stand that close" while Ford is on the side of "It's perfectly normal for brothers to be cuddling in bed." They usually don't send photos.

Teen Stancest used to play "Spin the Bottle" but with just themselves and then make out after every turn and say it was for "practice" for the real thing. When they both eventually played it on their own, they were wildly disappointed how chaste or underdeveloped the action was. That's the say, they used to hump like dogs during their games so nothing else can compare.

Stan used to be hella jealous of Ford's nerd "friends" in high school because he couldn't find a way to include himself in the conversations and he hated the idea of sharing Ford. He still feels slightly wary around Fidds when him and Ford start talking nerd.

Ford has two set of voices: One he uses when he's attempting to be his intimidating, professional, adult self and one he uses only with Stanley. The one he uses with Stanley is more reminiscent of their childhood with a lot of playful banter, occasional whining, and otherwise laxed persona. Stanley does find his professional voice to be very sexy and will tease him gently about it.

You know that scene in Toy Story where Bo Beep pulls Woody over with her staff and Woody says, "Bo, not in front of Buzz" and Bo responds, "Let 'em look." and kiss? That's Ford to Stan in front of the anomalies.

Their first time was exactly like this. They were so shook to realize that they were both prepared to get railed. They absolutely argued about who would top and had to flip a coin (they both cheated and were caught). Once they do find out who tops, it's game on.

They talk shit constantly. Their favorite activity is talking shit while in the middle of peril. It doesn't even have to be about what is happening to them currently, if they remember it, they will talk about it. People watching becomes a sport on the boardwalk and at ports. Not only are they judging but they are clocking and they do not care who hears them. They do not know what social decorum is and will never learn. Some of their favorite things to talk about over dinner is what or who they saw. Very catty, which they get from their Ma. This does open them up to a world of new inside jokes that are 20 levels deep.

They get a ship cat and it is Stan's baby. Ford is very jealous of this cat until he realizes he has 6 fingers too, then he adores it. It has a little vest and hat and life jacket. Stan also bought her cat necklace.

Ford has a thing for Stan's gold chain while Stan is on top fucking him. He likes watching it swing and will regularly grab it to pull Stan closer.

The amount of times that Ford has to tell Stan "We have the same face/ma/pa" is very high. Stan likes to make all of his burns toward Ford about either his looks or his parents. Stan will also mess with him about his intelligence but wen Ford mentions that Stan can be and is just as smart as him, it makes him feel all squirmy and weird and slightly turned on because it's praise.

That being said, Ford has been showering Stan in earnest and genuine praise the entire time they are together and it's only a few weeks until they have to come back home to Gravity Falls does it click that Stan is into it. He was just praising Stan because that's the person Ford has become and because he wants to praise Stan to make up for the missed years. Ford abuses it once it makes the connection. At the cabin, he'll sneakily give Stan praises when he knows they're alone just to rile him up.

For their birthday, Ford refurbishes the El Diablo. Stan cry's the whole day.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now: