news is looking pretty good lately
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@foolandtheflyingship
news is looking pretty good lately

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these hips don't lie but the truths they tell are strange and disquieting
"You might be wondering how I got into this situation. Well, I fucking love punching."
I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.
"That is Signal, the Last Follower of the Old Law."
Happy Pride

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My illustrations the most based poem about tigers by Nael, age 6
Every time I read it I feel space inside my chest expand in very *emotion* way.
Courir, partir, venir, mourir Courir, partir, venir, mourir Courir, partir, venir et mourir
Up the airy mountain Down the rushy glen Bridget walks a-chanting Not heeding little men By the craggy hill-side Through the mosses bare They have planted thorn trees For pleasure here and there
Burn out the day Burn out the night I'm not the one to tell you what's wrong and what's right I've seen suns that were freezing and lives that were through But I'm burnin', I'm burnin', I'm burnin' for you
Hit you with the hard punk tactics Bankrolls come straight for the assets No games, no throw, won't pass it Pick you up, spit you out like Jurassic Park
Height gap romance except the shorter one is frequently depicted in situations where they are contextually taller. The taller one sitting while the shorter one looms over them. Both of them lying in bed with the taller one’s head pressed to the shorter one’s chest. The shorter one straddling the taller one’s lap and leaning down for a kiss. The taller one on their knees as the shorter one tilts their head up. Please, it makes me go feral
You'll be visited by sleep I promise you that soon the autumn comes To steal away each dream you keep Breathe, breathe, breathe
Dig till my shovel tells a secret Swear to the earth that I will keep it Brush off the dirt And let my change of heart occur
We are losing yellow guardian because we made the classic blunder of the coughing baby and nuclear bomb teamup

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My friend the DM: I've been thinking about a new campaign that's set in a mid to late 1800s Western, with train heists
Me: hmmmm horse girl or engineer would be too expected of me. What if I played like a wandering ronin kind of character, like those edgy cringe Fire Emblem sword boys
DM: That would be funny
Me: it would be... Monk? Wait dragon ascendant monks are so dramatic
DM: It's one of only two good monk sub classes
Me: will you let me go all in on the cringe. And make my boy half tiefling half aasimar
DM: don't let me hold you back from your dreams
Me: can I name him Nintendo (忍天道, heavenly Ninja way)
DM: No.
And then everybody pitched in on the visual design. Here he is, Jake, Mephistopheles Tiefling on his father's side, Scourge Aasimar on his mother's side, folk hero background, dragon ascendant Monk. The power of light and darkness roils within him. My terrible son, he has every chunnibyou. Has a full tiefling older sister who went through her edgy phase at the normal age (26 for tieflings, Jake is a very late bloomer), and is now a mid level bureaucrat and thinks her little brother is very embarrassing.
Design notes:
- a 2nd mask under the first mask. The first mask keeps back the celestial side, the second keeps back the infernal side
- dragon tattoo appears on his back after the dragon monk awakening
- on the left hand, both drawing glove and archery glove, leaving the middle finger free to flip people off
- keeps items in his sleeves, which has hammer space like wuxia movies and the shady merchant from RE.
- his mom made the mask. Of course, one horn has broken off.
- booty jorts that strap onto riding chaps like hot topic tripp pants. Everything is denim
- ninja star spurs on his goth cowboy boots
- card holster for his Gamer Set
- the sword straps onto his collar, which is feathered
- gay evil flute in hair (since folk hero background gives him one instrument)
- he tries to somewhat keep his iridescent special boy skin covered up but his tits are just not able to be contained
Friend: Kei I HATE looking at this. What have we done.
Me: What if the outside of his sleeves has a feather pattern but the inside of his sleeves has like Guy Fieri flame patterns to show the ~duality~
Friend: I'm fucking crying he's already dead!!
He's here to fight a train, one train car at a time because he thinks he lives in a JRPG and not a western. He is from Sengoku-Era Texas, which I MUST assume is earlier in the timeline to Japanifornia. Jake Marshall is named after him. Kazuma Asougi is probably his distant cousin on his mother's side.
During radiant consumption he turns into Dark Yake, which may or may not be because folk hero background grants him proficiency in gaming set, combined with monks starting off with darts, so we got
(I don't draw yugioh stuff all that often compared to the other stuff I draw, but man this is baked INTO my bones. This was the easiest damn picture I've ever drawn.)
Upon his first turn in the very first combat of the campaign he immediately flubbed 3 acrobatics rolls in a row (which he has +5 to. He rolled a 4, 3, and 2. Humiliating) trying to do something cool (jump off a horse and onto a train) and his new best friend Lorelei had to save his cringe ass before he got ran over by a train. Perfect beginning of the adventure for our 52 year old middle schooler 🙏
I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit
tinder link in bio.
the replies:
*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?
I’m sobbing
I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves
her pussy
OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.
get back here and share that with the class
there is no such thing as “good censorship”.
if you are against censorship, it means you understand that the things you personally hate and find disgusting have the same rights to exist as the things that you love. it means you understood any censorship is a fascist tool meant to control people with lesser power. it means you understand censorship can start at the things that you hate, before it eventually comes for the things that you love, as well as your own rights.
censorship will never stop at one thing. once you allow it to happen, you already give people in power the ability to take away your own rights and freedom.
so no. there is no “good censorship”. it’s either everything — that isn’t sunshine and rainbow and conservatives — is censored, or nothing is censored.
I laughed to hard at this fucking thing.
After the honey's in the comb, all the bees go out and play Even the old grey mare down home has got to have hay hey hey!
Dream, when you're feeling blue Dream, that's the thing to do Just watch the smoke rings rise in the air You'll find your share of memories there
Gangsters don't cry Therefore, therefore I'm Mr. Misty-eyed, therefore I'm
There was blood on the saddle and blood all around And a great big puddle of blood on the ground

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let’s be primitive horses with mama