for my youth *

what’s up, everyone! it’s ya girl luna (suji/jaein mun) here with another third muse because yes... i have absolutely no self control!!! this is selene’s youngest, lead vocalist and rapper jung hyojung! though she’s mostly active as an actress outside of her group. call me beep me on d*scord if you want to plot (ask and you shall receive!) or just bug me first through my im’s. you can also just like this post and i’ll come hopping to you! alright, let’s get into this ridiculously long intro!

( ... )

it wasn’t until she met hyojung that she felt seen in a way she never expected. similar in age and eliciting a sense of comfort only felt within her own family, yerin had slowly melted over time. with hyojung, she’d found security and a shoulder to lean on. even through the pain of a shattered dream and countless rejections, hyojung had been one of the few who remained steady, a pillar of wisdom and reassurance as yerin braved storm after storm. to this day, her friend remained a lifeline she grasped whenever she sought a moment of reprieve, eager to step away from life as candy’s leader or rising idol actress hong yerin. and here in the safety of hyojung’s apartment, she could just be herself. no frills, no masks, no pretense.

“there’s been some offers, but i haven’t been given any scripts to look over yet.” as if management would let her have first pick on anything that came across their desks without screening them first. she’d be lucky if she even got news of tentative casting offers or any auditions for secretive productions. as with anything, yerin had always curbed her curiosity, absently tamping down her ambitions for the sake of maintaining her place. she looks at hyojung, tilting her head to appraise her more closely, her eyes glinting in mischief. “no news for you either? what’s next after yumi’s cells, hm?” her lips curve into a playful smile, reaching out a finger to poke hyojung in the side. “no big screen debut? musicals? you’re too talented not to have a million offers. come on,” she tries to wink and fails epically, dissolving into a peel of laughter she catches in the palm of her hand. “spill~”

hyojung knew better than anybody else how difficult it was to find genuine connections within the industry. most people ended up hanging out with people that they already knew before debuting. unfortunately, she didn’t have that same opportunity considering that she debuted at such a young age, and she’s lost touch with most of her school friends. it was challenging to juggle a regular high school friendship all while going to music programs at five in the morning. scratch that, it was nearly impossible.

that’s why when she spotted yerin almost a decade ago, she knew that she’d have to make a move. she was a little more active, more wild back in the day, and she silently thanks her past self for being more open to the idea of idol friendships. nowadays, she was more closed off, and she’s still not sure if it was for the best. nevertheless, she can’t exactly change the way she’s grown up. 

“really? huh, i find that odd considering how well twenty-five, twenty-one did,” hyojung states with a purse of her lips. she didn’t want to make any assumptions, but she can’t help but wonder if that’s her company not informing her of offers. the way scripts came flying in her direction after the success of the red sleeve makes her think that yerin should be flooded with options right now. “i’m guessing none of the tentative offers have stood out much either?” there were some dramas that simply caught her attention from their summaries themselves, but she understands if the candy member would be hesitant on being on board with something without reading its script. sometimes, people are just really good at writing summaries.

he doesn’t know why he’s here. 

or actually he does. 

it’s a slew of excuses he’s written mentally while sitting through hours of a concert filled with songs he doesn’t know the words to. 1) moral support, company orders. 2) he wandered around aimlessly in the streets of seoul, and somehow ended up here. or 3) there was nothing better do to, and the studio felt like an abyss of never-ending work projects — he just had to get out.

he uses excuse three when he’s lingering backstage, dipping his head to any staff member that passed by. soon after, there’s hyojung and suddenly, his excuses feel like frugal nothings for why he’s here in the first place.

“i… had nothing better to do.” it comes out, awkward and uncomfortable when his eyes scan, tossing a sole flower he’s found as a fidget toy while waiting back stage. “a flower, i picked it up somewhere — don’t read too much into it.” it’s almost irony at this point, a memory of months rehashed with the tables turned.

but really, what’s he to do when he knows no faces beyond his own company member standing in front of him. “nice concert — thought i’d hear the one song i knew. but then again, i don’t blame you. that’s probably one of the worst songs i’ve written for another group.”

nothing about gyujeong’s words surprise her anymore. his straightforward, care-about-nothing attitude took a while to get used to, but hyojung likes to think she’s adjusted to it now. he offers some amusement in her life, which is why she no longer frowns or furrow her brows upon catching sigh of him.

“right,” she says with a nod of her head as if that adds anything to the conversation. she genuinely does believe that he had nothing better to do, considering he seems to complain about everything, but she’s still surprised to see him here. hyojung chuckles before taking it up. “well, it’s better than nothing.” especially since that’s what she expected from him.

her brows perk up when she hears that he doesn’t recognize a single song. not to say that selene was releasing hit after hit, but she’d be shocked if he really didn’t know anything. “huh, really? looks like we’ll have to work even harder until the day you actually know one of our songs.” if this conversation happened about a year ago, she would have been offended but not anymore. 

this was his second gold star concert this year and it was just as good as the first one. it was so refreshing, to go to friend’s concerts, and scream lyrics at the top of his lungs. how could he not enjoy himself when people were putting insane performances and shows? he felt more excited about platinum and selene’s concerts than their own at this point in time. how could he not?

minhee is not exactly ushered backstage, but he kind of is, the staff insisting he should go and see his colleagues and friends and he doesn’t argue. holding the selene lightstick in hand, he can’t help but wave it at hyojung when she sees her down the corridor, smile wide on his lips. he loved going to other people’s concerts so much…

“yes, and you pulled it perfectly!” he says, nodding his head in a firm agreement. “thank you for the invite again, please invite me to any other concerts you hold!” he adds, bowing politely to hyojung “i will make sure to have worked on at least one song of your future album, so you know, have a good reason to have me again.” minhee teases a bit, shooting a playful wink at the other.

in all honesty, hyojung was surprised when she heard that minhee would be in korea during the duration of selene’s concert. when she initially sent out the invite, she had assumed he’d be too busy to attend, which is why his appearance was all that more welcomed. not that she wanted to be judged, but it felt nice to have a familiar face in the crowd.

she shakes her head at his expression of gratitude before letting out a chuckle. “of course. i had to prove that i could pull off the gogobebe choreography,” she says in a rather teasing voice. “fingers crossed that gold star allows it again.” with that, she makes the gesture of crossing her fingers. it felt nice to have an idol choreographer because it felt like he understood just everything the girls could pull off. 

thus, her feet lead her toward his direction and by the time she’s standing in front of him, her head’s tilted in confusion. “fancy seeing you here,” she begins before giving some last minute greetings to the staff members passing by them. “oh, do i not get any flowers?” she’s referring to their interaction at his own concert. 

hyojung almost hates to admit it, but she’s grown sort of fond of gyujeong and his presence. she doesn’t understand him all the time, and she thinks he has an oddly negative perspective of the world, but he’s pretty entertaining to be around. that’s why she sparked up this conversation in the first place, hoping that he could provide something amusing enough.

when the first day of their concert is over and they’re headed backstage with the staff giving them a round of applause, hyojung can’t help but think she could have done a better job. although it’s just a promise to herself, she swears she’ll put more of herself on stage tomorrow. 

just as she’s making this silent promise, she spots a familiar face in the hallway. breaking out from the staff members who have surrounded her, she makes her way toward minhee, greeting him with a slight wave of her fingers. “did you come to check up on how well i’ll pull off the hairography of gogobebe?” she says rather teasingly before ruffling the bottom of her still-bobbed hair. it’s grown out quite a bit, but it was still rather short since she’s still fiming. “i think i did a nice job with the amount of hair i have right now.”

her manager just casually throws out the news when she’s on standby for yumi’s cells. 

when hyojung first joined this industry, being dressed in designer clothing from head to toe wasn’t exactly a trend. it seems to be one of those things that caught on in the more recent days, and selene wasn’t a stranger when it came to following such trends. having grown up in a modest household with only one parent earning money, she could have never predicted that one day, she’ll end up being the face of one of those luxury brands.

that’s why when she hears the word gucci she has to do a double take. “can your repeat that?” her head snaps up from the script she’s looking at as she stares at her manager with disbelief in her eyes. 

“gucci contacted the company. they want you as their ambassador,” he repeats per her request. it’s still a bit surreal, so she can’t imagine how it’d feel when she actually meets up with them. the pictorials that are to come? being dressed in gucci? wow, if someone were to tell seven year-old jung hyojung that this would happen, she would have told them to stop lying.

the surprise must be apparent on her face because her manager laughs before motioning for her to take a bite of the lunchbox he’s handed her. “did they ever say why they wanted me specifically?” while she didn’t know these brands very well, she thinks she vaguely remembers gucci having some odd patterns. just clothing that doesn’t really scream jung hyojung. 

“well, i didn’t hear that much either. maybe they wanted a softer image.” with that, her mouth forms an ‘o’ shape as she gives a single nod. if that was their reasoning, it made sense because that’s exactly the image she had with the public. not like the public was the main audience for these brands, but if they were trying to grab a new audience, perhaps it’d work out for them.

whatever the reason was, hyojung still found it odd. this would be her first luxury brand ambassador deal. she was so used to picking up domestic brands and getting the korean public interested. everything she’s endorsed so far had been in that line, so this felt completely out of the ball park. 

it took hyojung a whole decade for her to realize what she wanted with her career, but there were still moments where she felt lost. like she didn’t know how to live a life that wasn’t in this spotlight. she’d been in this industry for so long that she can’t see a life where she isn’t selene’s hyojung or actress jung hyojung. what would be left of her if that was stripped away.

that’s why she’s invited yerin to her home—it was pretty rare for her to have guests—and tried to lay out this environment where she could be free to speak about everything she wants to. however, she doesn’t want to start out with that, so she decides on a more lighthearted topic. “so is another acting job not in the future for you yet? i mean, you were amazing as yurim, i feel like you would have had tens of scripts waiting for you afterward.”

hiya, everyone! i had the nastiest flu ever which is why i requested a hiatus for the week, but i’m slowly feeling better so i’m going to try to catch up on replies. plus, it’s a new quarter so feel free to take this as a Q2 update post for my muses! reply with any-colored heart emoji if you’d like a starter, or like this post if you’d like to plot something out! feel free to specify a muse or i’ll just go with whatever!

it feels like a mere exchange of reflections — his word of thanks being bounced with her sheer attempt of a polite exchange. they’ve crossed corners, years of being jammed into the same company for the look of company-bloomed friendships. still, he doesn’t think he has any other options beyond a) continuing this game of superficial conversation or b) actually taking this one as if they were anything in the realm of real friends.

friendships or not, he doesn’t take a second look when he brings his eyes back to the blank wall in front of him. “you know what they say — choppy bangs, takes a certain look to pull it off. better it looks good on you than bad, right?” 

(he chooses exit a).

only, it stops when real talks about real people start to surface. and he’s forced to imagine like the faux show of love and his narration brings forth anything of substance.

“i don’t think so.” he stops himself short, quiet on the edge of his tongue. "i don’t really know your take on love. but genuine love, i don’t think that shit resolves itself on camera, nor can it be shown nor exploited. exploiting true love? that shit sounds fucked to me.”

“yeah, it took me a while to get used to them, but they seem natural now. especially because they let me grow it out a little more than season one.” hyojung still remembers the initial response to her haircut and the numerous people who claimed that it didn’t look nice. unfortunately, she had to admit, and she was pretty thankful the directors allowed it to be a little bit longer. it now looks a thousand times better.

hyojung can’t tell if he’s passionate about the topic or absolutely disgusted. truthfully, she wouldn’t be too offended if it did end up being the latter because she was unsure of the program initially herself. “see, that’s why i think you’d make an interesting panelist. everybody on dating programs are so into the idea of finding true love and all that, so having someone who’s a little more cut-throat would be kind of refreshing, no? i can imagine you on like money catcher,” she states once again.

_hyovely: thank you for all the love for transit love and gogobebe. 

minjung furrows her brows together, a crooked smirk indicating nothing more than the flightiness that encases her tone. “well, maybe? i couldn’t tell you — i’ve only seen two dramas of yours. but from my small sample size, i can see how people would’ve wanted that happy ending for those characters.” she stretches the latter of those words, and just maybe, the conversation strays too far from impersonality.

she shakes her daze, one quick motion and she falls back into the stoic gaze of someone scientific. facts, logic — except, none of those aspects were built on the foundation of this conversation. and when hyojung reverses the roles, she finds herself for the first time: caught uneasy.

“no.” she stammers, her eyes diverting away from her own labelmate. “i can’t answer that — that’s ruining my scientific integrity.” her mouth purses together, and she holds herself with a faux sense of bravado with how her shoulders straighten a bit stiffer. “well, two points to make this fair — i think the former is more handsome than the latter. but to the second, lee dong wook. he’s been my ideal type since i debuted.”

“well, considering i’ve only been in a couple more than that, i think that counts as having seen a lot,” she says with a chuckle. it’s not like hyojung had a long career as an actress just yet. she was slowly getting there, and she had to admit, she was surprised to hear that minjung has seen any of them. however, since she had begun acting as well, that shouldn’t be too surprising. hyojung also watched a lot of dramas back when she was beginning to gain inspiration.

her brows furrow together in suspicion as she stares at minjung. she really can’t tell what the purpose behind this faux research it. whether it’s the equinox member genuinely being curious about her taste in their company mates, or if she was trying to dig something out of her. 

“yeah, well — i’m sure they all buy into the image of the nice boys next door wearing all pastels.” 

their conversation feels out of place, yet the frequency of their interactions puts them in a safespace of equilibrium. enough that he manages to put a hand out, reaching for a flower despite what his furrowed brows might say. “thanks?” it’s a shoddy thank-you to a gift he damn near is willing to bet was a last minute extension of a gift meant for one of his other members.

not that she owes him anything in the first place, nor was he betting the bouquet had his name etched on it.

so, he continues on his mission: get out of here as quickly as possible. 

taking a quick sweep of the room and managing to pick up little bits and pieces of his own things into his arms, he tilts his glance over to her, only noticing now that it’s cut. “nice haircut, short hair suits you.” a shrug comes past his shoulders when he slips his lighter back into the depths of his pocket as he mumbles past his shoulder. “appreciate the support — can’t promise i’ll return the same by watching your new drama or transit love. real people aren’t really my thing.”

she snorts a little because even she can see that this is all a shabby, last-minute gift. it wasn’t given out of pity, but more because she thought it’d be rude to have it in her hands and not give it to him. however, she wouldn’t be offended if he threw it out right in front of her. it could barely be called a gift. 

“thanks?” it’s her turn this time to question the compliment. hyojung doesn’t think he’s lying, per se, but it does feel like a way to simply keep the conversation going so they can both get out of here. “it was a little awkward at first, but now i’ve had this hair for like a year. i’ve gotten used to it.” she does miss getting to style her hair differently from time to time, but her stylists have been great at differentiating between yumi and selene’s hyojung, despite the restrictions. 

“only alright? no wild cast parties or scandalous showmances yet?” mirae playfully nudges the younger. if filming itself hasn’t been much to write home about, she’ll at least pry into any gossip hyojung might be willing to share — only with the best intentions, of course. there hasn’t been much on that end of her own drama filming, but mirae’s been resolved not to let anything veer too far off track. it’s her first time truly leading a drama as the central protagonist other than persona, which had felt different, and she’d be loathe for behind the scenes drama to interfere with the production. 

“oh, you’re right.” mirae’s fingers brush the edges of hyojung’s hair for a split second. mirae’s own hair falls an inch or two above her shoulders. it’s been various shades of short since she’d chopped off most of her hair to play saebyeok and what had grown out over the summer had been trimmed again not too far into my name shooting.

“well, your drama team is lucky because you’d be pretty with long hair or short hair. even with no hair, you’d be a perfect leading lady,” she gushes unashamed. mirae’s affection comes out naturally around her members, and by virtue of being the youngest, hyojung might be subject to a little extra. “i’m really not much of a webtoon reader, so i’ll exercise my patience.” there’s a hint of laughter in her voice.

“not everything yet, but i’m working hard to get there.” she winks as if she’s shared a secret. “we’re just wrapping up the final few scenes for my name and then it’s reshoots and i’m supposed to be done by the time we have our comeback and then it’s supposed to come out before summer. i’m really excited for this one to get out there into the world.”

“we’ve only just cranked in, but i’ll let you know if someone, i don’t know, shows up on set drunk,” she comments with a chuckle. when she’s with her selene members, there are moments where hyojung feels sixteen again. since she’s grown up, she doesn’t act like the same youngest anymore, but those sides of her seem to jump out only in front of them. that’s probably a good thing; a sign that she’s pretty healthy because she feels comfortable around someone.

she steals glances between her own hair and mirae’s. she can’t seem to recall the last time she’s see the other’s hair as short as it was, but these little things were what was required from an actress. “do you think they’ll put like extensions on us for the hair pulling part of the choreo?” she asks before taking another look down at her short ends. it’s entirely possible, but she thinks they can probably pull off the choreo without that specific mood always being played out.

“no hair? now that’s a role that i’d really have to sit on.” with that, she runs a hand through her scalp, trying to imagine herself completely bald. hyojung knows that mirae’s simply complimenting her, but the thought makes her burst out into a short fit of laughter. “i’d make headlines, for sure.”