establishing questionnaire.
1. why did your muse become an idol?
initially, it was to fulfill the dream her mother was forced to abandoned. as written in yerinâs bio and on her intro post, i mentioned that yerinâs mother used to be an idol for a now disbanded girl group called sugar (see group insp/refs: baby vox, fin.k.l - but ofc, far less popular than their model groups. sugar was rather middling at the peak of their career: think laboum and brave girls type of popularity where they had one or two hits but were otherwise underrated), but was forced to leave the group and retire when she was hit with a scandal that was never cleared up. her departure did nothing to reduce the criticisms the public lodged at the company for their unclear statement and handling of the scandal and instead, led to a public boycott of sugar. the group disbands not long after her motherâs departure and her subsequent move to busan to hide.
growing up, her motherâs passion for singing and music never faded and yerin inherited that same love. although, she never spoke about what really happened, yerin knows that her mother never forgot her love for performing.
becoming an idol wasnât exactly what yerin was pursuing. rather, she actually was content to continue singing as a hobby. sheâs no soundcloud or social media cover artist trying to get discovered. instead, she sang simply to express her feelings.
as a quiet kid and being raised by a single mom, she was picked on a lot and shunned by the neighborhood kids. she was âweirdâ and didnât like playing with others and preferred to keep to herself. kind of like she was much older than she physically was - her body not yet catching up to her brain. she learned early on to compartmentalize and only really show her emotions/who she was in the comfort of her own home.
so singing helped her let go of her inhibitions and in a way, it was cathartic for her.
getting scouted was a sign and based on her motherâs very visceral reaction to the idea of her past finally catching up to her a decade and some years later filled her with both bitter resentment, longing, and inexplicable wariness.
yerin was never pushed to become an idol. instead, she chose to walk on this gnarly path all on her own because she saw how unresolved her mother was at letting that part of her life go. if she could be successful in her stead and become someone well-known and loved as her motherâs daughter, she would consider it a dream come true and, hopefully, by then her mother would look back on it all and smile, not cry.
2. what does your muse think of their company and their group?
yerin is neutral regarding bc entertainment as a whole. sheâs aware itâs a big company. sheâs also doubly aware just how expendable she is as a person, as a pawn. she has absolutely no doubt that she can be replaced as easily as a snap of her fingers. she doesnât hate nor love the company. instead, she is actually grateful they took a chance on her when 8 other companies did not spare her a second glance. if anything, bc entertainmentâs callback for a second audition gave her a much needed push and boost to her confidence when she was almost ready to give up.
naturally, as a person who hates owing people, yerinâs way of compensating them is by being the perfect idol - complacent and rule-abiding; a non-troublemaker who does as sheâs told when sheâs told. sheâs not yet at the stage where she can rebel openly when she needs them. and this power imbalance is something she is very conscious of.
bc entertainment does not need her. whereas, yerin very much needs their power, connections, and investment in her. so the more accurate representation of how she views her company would be a give and take.
as for candy, she adores her members a lot. even when people say she lowkey hates them. she may have been aloof in the beginning of their formation because she was still reeling from candy shop and actually having made it versus being so close to being cut that she didnât have the time to spare anybodyâs feelings. nor did she really make an effort to fake a bond.
yerin thrives on patience and communication, mutual trust and respect. initially, she may have seemed cold, but she sure wasnât ignorant about her membersâ struggles and tried to be a good leader. she mightâve been clumsy and fumbled through some conversations because Emotionally Repressed and not good at words of affirmation when they are needed, but she made sure to make herself as available as possible if and when they needed her. she remained as steadfast as she was since day one of candyâs formation and hasnât yet crumbled.
candy functions well as a group largely because of her more charming and outgoing members. and sheâs content to stay on the sidelines while they shined. sheâs not greedy for the spotlight when part of the group and still maintains the image of the poised leader in all professional settings.
all in all, she canât deny that being in candy has changed her a little. sheâs learned to be less stubborn about certain things and more open to listening to her members and opening herself up.
candy may not be home for her, but it is a safe place to return to.
3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if theyâve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they havenât renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?
candy is still on their first contract and arenât up for renewal until 2025, so yerin still has plenty of time to consider where she wants to go. sheâs always been a planner and she already has goals and mental checklists of things she wants to accomplish or experiment with (if given the opportunity) during these three years time â particularly in her individual activities.
she has no say in what candy has in store as far as bc entertainment is concerned, but she does have some leeway on the direction she wants her career to go. whether that is pursuing acting more vigorously or eventually branching out to solo music & performance is something sheâs very tight-lipped about.
if candyâs popularity starts tapering off by 2025, yerin probably will not renew. hopefully by then, sheâll be a somewhat established idol actress with a solid fanbase and a reputable repertoire of credits under her belt and maybe some solo songs that charted moderately well (like kim sejeong).
if candy is still going strong by 2025....hmmm...who knows?
4. what are your museâs goals, ambitions, and motivations?
to leave a legacy behind.
if ever the truth about her motherâs past comes to light, yerin wants her own accomplishments to overshadow all the negative backlash that could potentially arise in the aftermath. the whole point of her becoming an idol was to fulfill her motherâs dream and to sort of...wash away all of her motherâs regrets and kind of (???) clear her motherâs name (not that yerin will ever verbally address her motherâs scandal lol) but in the sense that she doesnât want her mother to forever be associated with things like âthat xx girl who ruined sugarâ or âthat mistress who slept her way to the topâ â that sort of thing. instead, she wants her mother to have something positive she can take from the industry itself â being yerinâs mom. yerin may be a literal product of that scandal that cost her motherâs career and dreams, but she hopes sheâll leave a brighter legacy behind filled with happiness and success, something worthy to be proud of and remembered for years to come.
5. what moments or people in your museâs life are or have been the most impactful and/or the most important to them?
her mother is the most important person in her life. there is no competition whatsoever. yerin can talk your ear off about how much she loves her mom and she will literally fight you if she hears anyone talk shit about her within earshot â like that snotty neighborhood kid who dared to call her mother a sl*t because they overheard their mother and the neighborhood aunties talking that way about her. damn right, the first time yerin gets into fisticuffs is when she pummeled that kid to the ground. thatâs the actual catalyst as to why she gets ostracized amongst the town kids lol
her stepfather and her stepsister  â when her mother remarries, yerin is relieved because sheâs always wanted her to be happy and despite her initial misgivings and subtle hostility about him attempting to take her mom from her, she mellowed out and softened when she saw how kind and loving he was towards her mom, who she thinks deserves the entire universe. iâm not going to go too deep into her relationship with yerinâs stepfather and stepsister because iâm writing a headcanon about them but with them, yerin finally gets a complete family â even if she hated the move to seoul. she has them to thank for her decision to audition with bc ent. and accept the second chance on being a trainee. with them around, yerin worries a lot less about having to leave her mom behind to pursue her career.
family is an important factor in yerinâs life and is a great source of her motivation. she may seem cold and unfeeling, but she cares very deeply. her way of showing it is just not publicly and she tries very hard to keep her family protected from the dangers of sasaengs and antis. people can attack and hate on her all they want, but she will go out of her way to take a firm stance when it comes to that nasty attitude being redirected to her family and close friends.
gyuri and chaeyoung â her two best friends, whom i already wrote a headcanon about and will soon be posting an aesthetic about for visual interpretation of their dynamics, so i wonât really say much other then: she loves and appreciates them. a decade of friendship is nothing to scoff at and yerin is still amazed how long theyâve lasted and how they havenât changed at all.
6. what are five of your museâs favorite things? feel free to expand on why this is and/or how these became their favorite things.
an old vinyl record player  â she still has it, keeping it for memoriesâ sake. it was the first thing she ever splurged on when she was younger and doing odd jobs around the neighborhood to save up for it as a birthday gift to herself. itâs the very thing that has accompanied her every day since she decided that people werenât worth her time and that she was okay having no friends and nobody to talk to. it was (still is) her constant growing up and how music continues to be her best companion when sheâs not in the mood for anyone or to do anything. music doesnât judge. music doesnât deliberately hurt her. music heals and comforts and she will forever chase after opportunities to one day sing a song she wrote.
tea blends from around the world â she blames chaeyoung for this. that year her friend spend traveling the world has spoiled yerin hard. chaeyoung had brought back samples of different tea leaves and recipes from various countries, declaring that she wanted to open a cafĂŠ and needed some help. naturally, yerin and gyuri chipped in by investing and helping chaeyoung turn her latest dream into reality. nowadays, whenever chaeyoung travels, she always brings back a variety of things for her to try.
small succulents collection â it started with a baby cactus gyuri gave her one day out of the blue. literally just barged into the house when she was on a break from schedules and visiting her family and left it on her dresser to wake up to. the note she left behind said she was out shopping when she saw this and wanted to give it to yerin, said it reminded gyuri of her. now as a joke, gyuri gets one baby cactus for her every year.
sewing kit â embroidery came as a surprise. a suggestion from a grandma sheâd sat next to on a train to busan in summer 2014 when she was lost and didnât know what the hell she was doing or where she wanted to go in the future. yerin had watched her weathered hands weaving the thread over and over until a branch formed and later a flower in half bloom, mesmerized. a conversation struck and yerin learns the grandma used to be a seamstress and was returning home after attending her granddaughterâs wedding. she comes away from the meeting enlightened, her hand clutching spools of colorful thread and some embroidery needles left rattling in a small plastic box. she takes up embroidery out of curiosity and takes to it like fish to water. eager to learn and prick her finger on her amateur mistakes and clumsy fumbling. she learns patience and perseverance with each precise stitch she weaves, each thread she cuts. itâs become a way for her to cool down, to relax and empty her mind after a long day. if she likes you, one day you might just receive something sheâs made.
usb necklace  â yerin doesnât know how to give up. ever since she approached management about the possibility of a solo debut down the line and having plans of doing so postponed twice, she should feel a bit disheartened. she doesnât, though. if anything, it makes her more determined to demonstrate her value. when asking for something in business, they would want to know the risks and what theyâll profit from should they invest and yerin is aware at present, her value as a product (because isnât that what being an idol is about, being manufactured and created; a for-profit brand to attract buyers?) isnât high. so she prepares  â itâs what sheâs good at. she readies herself by recording demos of melodies, bits and pieces of songs sheâs made over the years. a tangible record of her progress as a singer, tracking her potential and what she has to offer. itâs one of her most prized possessions because everything on there is a culmination of years of struggling and honing herself â a melodic journey of hong yerin, a nobody to the yerin of candy, finally a somebody but still not good enough to stand on her own. it encompasses her current hopes and her future dreams. she wears it / keeps it on her person (except in the shower) at all times.
7. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?
as mentioned earlier, family is yerinâs biggest motivation. however, she is currently dealing with meeting her biological father for the first time and sheâs....kind of still processing. for someone who is usually very decisive, for the first time in a while, yerin is not sure how to act or feel. on one hand, this is a man sheâs always been very quietly curious about  â feelings like secondhand resentment and shock and involuntary relief (?) when he finally shows up in her life is giving her mixed feelings. sure, sheâs always wanted to meet him some day, but thatâs because she wouldâve planned the meeting on her own and after sheâs become a household name and can be on a level playing field, or enough to meet him eye-to-eye. him just randomly showing up catches her so off-guard that yerin is stuck and sheâs never been unsure of anything in her life. sheâs got so much conviction and her tendency to be prepared for anything is just...completely obliterated by him and she realizes that sheâs not ready. sheâll never be ready. sheâs not even good enough to look at him. she canât even tell what he wants or what heâll get out of this. yerin canât read him. this one meeting alone (there will be more lol yerin will not catch a break this year) can send her off-course so badly, whose to say that sheâll be able to handle him when heâs at full power.
already, yerin is distracted by his existence. knowing that he has found her and has gone through lengths to let her know that he knows she exists is something she canât make sense of. candy as whole has been busy with their slight shift in sound and image, preparing for comebacks and touring + yerinâs own acting career climbing higher and higher with each hit drama and fan favorite character, the meeting happening in the middle of everything means she hasnât had the time to fully process the meaning of why her biological fatherâs decided to show up in her life now. before she can even gather her composure, her fatherâs presence will be much more prominent and occurring at random just when she thinks heâs got his fill and finds sheâs really nothing at all and not worth the trouble. later, much later, sheâll be hit again  â this time, sheâll meet her brothers.
8. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they donât have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.
at first, yerin balked at managementâs suggestion to push her into acting. she was kind of insulted to hear that the major reasoning was that she has a pretty face and sheâll be okay to pull in new fans by looking good on screen, even if she couldnât act for shit. so she went into it with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop determined to make a show of it, to prove them all wrong because yerin subverting expectations? yes, she hates being underestimated. very much âyou think i canât do it? iâll do it and make you eat your words when i succeed.â
of course, she never planned on actually falling in love with acting at all. it just...happened. one day, she felt like something bloomed in her chest when the director looked at her coolly and patted her head, telling her good job, after a perfect take. she was sure everybody thought she got the role because of connections or under the table dealings or whatever. preconceptions, sheâs used to them. it doesnât bother her, really. but knowing they held her at armâs length just waiting for her to fail and prove them all right only to get a compliment like that after wowing them felt good. and yerin wanted to feel it again. so she tried harder. put her whole heart and soul in it. and fell. fell in love with acting. thereâs a flame burning inside of her now and sheâs never felt that way performing with candy (lol sorry. tho yerin will change her mind when iveâs discog becomes candy canon :D yerin will be a changed person. the world will literally be her stage). she never wants this passion to go away. not before she was ready. not before sheâs on top.
now, sheâs not content with roles or scripts that are glossed over and passed through too many hands, so sanitized that she feels her potential being stunted. she wants grittier, meatier roles. darker concepts, scripts that made her feel alive and immersed in the world. but her future struggle(s) will lie in being denied for roles that are too far out of candyâs public perception as the nationâs girl group and their girly, cute concept. her image might not be in sync, but yerin is forever tethered to the concept all the same. sheâs candyâs leader and different aura and her maturity aside, sheâs still a part of them. and sheâll have to fight with management to get her way, to get roles that she wants to portray. not willing to be typecast. not willing to be boxed in or molded to fit into one category â forever one-dimensional and not being allowed to grow, to change, to experiment and become different versions of herself. itâll be a brutal fight, sheâs sure, but yerin wonât back down. not anymore. she has something she wants now and sheâll do anything to get it.