There is nothing more badass than being yourself

ppl forget the innocence of the elderly… if there was ever a glimpse of them as a child, this is it

@yanderrre you can just go to galaxylight.com or if you dont feel like typing: shorturl.link/galaxy

That is how civilisations begin.

I mean, I have a kayak at home. I could go get it and paddle out there just to see what the deal is. Is it worth it?

When I got back to the shore, a guy asked me if he could borrow my kayak to get the pokestop, and now I’m charging people $10 a pop to use it.

Pokemon is amazing this is like those moments when you would play the games and you gotta use “Surf” to see what item’s on the sandbar across the way

My first instinct was to dismiss this as a fabrication but then i remembered that summer 2016 was just like that

I miss summer 2016. It felt like an innocent fun time.

I’ve never been to Las Vegas but I love it in concept because it sounds so made up. Imagine if you were reading a fantasy novel and they were like “smack in the middle of a deadly inhospitable desert there is a glittering city of indulgence and lawlessness and cheap sin that has specifically engineered itself to obfuscate your sense of time and keep you there as long as possible while they take all your valuables.” You’d be like yeah that’s some wizard shit. 

adhd is stored in the ass

the a in adhd stands for ass

What do the other letters stand for then?

Ass Don't Have Dopamine

@shitpostsampler can I please have a pattern for adhd is stored in the ass

If the White Collar revival happens it needs to have Sara and Neil happy in Paris running some sort of conman/investigator firm à-la-Leverage in which they slightly bend the law to solve cases and help people

the rodents of unusual size in princess bride should have just been like. a capybara. i’m not suggesting wesley should have fought a capybara, i’m saying they should have been terrified of the prospect of encountering one and then they see it off in the distance in the dark and they’re like “OH NO” and it’s just sitting there like (^-__-^) and buttercup is like “it’s cute. maybe it’s harmless?” and wesley is like “NO. the myths” and ominous music plays under a slow zoom on the capybara’s face while they carefully edge their way around it and it’s just sitting there like (^-__-^) the whole time. then they breathe a sigh of relief and immediately fall into quicksand. thank you. other than reintroducing the chapter on hats, this is the only change i would make and comprises the entirety of my princess bride script doctor

studio ghibli movies are like if someone took all of your fondest, softest childhood dreams and put them into a film

That Seinfeld fella is pretty funny he should get his own show

I’ve got some great news

what

I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to geico

culinary students, abt to cheat: i sure hope no one checks under my hat