HOWDY, welcome!

and for all of yall that are still figuring it out or aren't getting the support you deserve:

every now and then i scroll across a post from a racialize person that essentially amounts to "white people i hate you. i hate all of you. die in a ditch."

i am not making up a strawman here to beat down. because a) i have come across posts that say this practically word for word and, more importantly, b) i agree with the sentiment. it is a very, very understandable anger. to quote malcom x,

“When all of my ancestors are snake-bitten, and I’m snake-bitten, and I warn my children to avoid snakes, what does that snake sound like accusing me of hate-teaching?”

anger at your oppressors, even anger at those who may have not oppressed you directly but inadvertently wield privilege to aid those who do, is justified and righteous.

but at the same time, a post that's only an expression of that anger sometimes feels a little too personal to broadcast. it feels as though i wasn't really meant to see it. and i don't want to just reblog a stranger's expression of distress for all of (majority white) tumblr to see because that might endanger their online presence or worse.

and there's also the issue of tone deafness. for someone to go "man i hate white people" only for a white guy to come in and say the online equivalent of "yeah same lmao" without having anything to add just feels. really disingenuous? like i'm not in a position to truly empathize as i'm not racialized, so i'd rather be able to give advice. but i can't really do that either as, again, i'm not racialized and any advice i give should be sourced from those who are. there's nothing i can really say that would add to the conversation so i'd rather not say anything at all.

(this obv doesn't apply when it's appended with "white people can rb" or something along those lines because then that implies the poster wants their post to be seen by white people en masse, vent or otherwise.)

at one point i did rb one of these vent posts thinking it would help but i got dm'ed with the advisement that it's common courtesy not to and i took it down. i've been iffy about reblogging those kinds of posts since. but meanwhile when a post says "i fucking hate you. here's what you can do about it." that carries the implication that it's more than just a raw expression of anger. there's an invitation and advisement for action. that i will rb because it carries a clear purpose outside the outlet of emotions. it doesn't feel like i've just stumbled upon someone's personal journal, but more like they want to be seen and heard. if it doesn't really have an overarching goal in mind other than venting than i don't fully get why i should reblog it. it sounds antithetical to a lot of what i've learned so far. i wouldn't reblog my friend going through it. so why should i reblog a stranger doing the same?

This post is also on the same wavelength on what I was saying. I'll also reiterate the specific examples I gave in the notes and replies. There's a lot of (White, especially) users on tumblr who are reluctant to reblog posts that directly call out racism in general, but are even more reluctant when the post is directly mentioning racism BY White tumblr users (as in, racist actions by White users & the post is made by nonwhite users) or specific examples of it. More specifically like my post says, I'm talking about essentially tone policing. If someone is visibly, vocally angry about the racism they're talking about on the post, White tumblr users will avoid it. But if the wording says something to the effect of like "I know White people aren't trying to be racist when they do x" etc, then the post will be more popular. In my example in the notes, I was talking about racism within cottagecore many times, and I've noticed that even though I have multiple posts that boil down to the same thesis, the ones where my wording is (rightfully, justifiably) angrier are more ignored and have less notes than ones where I'm not. And like my mutual said as well, posts about White tumblr user's racism that are less direct in their wording will be more popular because White people will think "well this can't possibly be about me!". It's the same kind of idea.

What you call procrastination might just be your body saying: "I'm overwhelmed and everything feels too much"

What you call anxiety might just be your body saying: "I've been in danger before, and I don't know if it's over yet"

What you call neediness might just be your body saying: "I didn't get what I needed, and I'm still longing"

What you call overreacting might just be your body saying: "This feels like danger to me because it once was"

What you call emotional instability might just be your body saying: "I was never taught that feeling emotions could be safe"

What you call resistance might just be your body saying: "I don't feel safe enough to do what you want me to"

What you call laziness might just be your body saying: "I'm frozen because I had to work hard for too long"*

What you call numbness might just be your body saying: "I had to shut down to keep you safe"

What you call avoidance might just be your body saying: "Im not ready to face this yet. I need slower exposure to it"

(the.trauma.educator on ig)

as promised, the transplanting tutorial

most sources make transplanting sound incredibly difficult, but transplanting young seedlings from areas with sparse dirt, like a driveway or roadside, is actually incredibly easy and can get you some great stuff. Once I worked out the method, i've had a very high survival rate

it took me like a month of trial and error to figure this out so you don't have to.

It is a common belief that native plant gardening is hard and expensive but plants are free. They're everywhere. They just do their thing.

It is common for seedlings to grow in places they cannot survive longterm; the side of the road, pavement crack, gravel driveway.

How did they get here? Plants spread their seeds in a variety of ways. Some of the main ones are:

birds: when birds eat berries and fruits, the seeds are not digested and sprout in the ground when the bird poops.

wind: lots of seeds have fluffy parachutes of helicopter wings so they can be blown far away to find a place to grow

water: rain and streams can wash seeds away and leave them in a muddy area to sprout

mammals: acorns and nuts from trees are foods for families, who bury them later. sometimes they sprout into trees instead

A seed will do its best to sprout... whether it's a good place for a fully grown plant or not. Plants that sprout in harsh places are sometimes beautiful and vulnerable species, and they are easy to transplant.

Here's how:

you will need

a pot: A red solo cup is the right size for most transplantable seedlings- don't use anything much smaller. You can also use an orange juice carton or even a cardboard box. Make sure you cut holes or slits in the bottom so it won't be soggy forever when you water it.

potting mix: it's not the same as dirt- it's lighter, fluffier and drains easily.

a place to put it: put them outside where they get some sun, but not where they get direct sun all day long. If they're on a surface that gets hot, elevate them by putting them on a cardboard box or something.

The idea is to transplant seedlings that wouldn't survive where they are. Don't just uproot plants that aren't in any danger. Obviously don't do anything dangerous or illegal. AVOID roads with frequent traffic or main highways. Do NOT put yourself at risk of being hit by a car.

I collect from roadsides because I live in a neighbourhood with no outlet. If you grab an invasive species, it's in a pot where it can't hurt anything and you can just kill it.

NEVER plant anything in the ground without knowing what it is, though.

A seedling this size (about an inch) or smaller is most likely to survive. The two most important things are to keep as much of the root intact as you can and to make sure the roots stay damp. You can wrap the roots up in a wet paper towel.

How to transplant:

From gravel: seedlings growing in gravel or pebbles are easiest to transplant. Remove bits of gravel one by one and carefully pry up the pieces that are stuck, until the roots are exposed. Mulch can be removed the same way.

From a crack in the pavement: Very carefully pinch the stem as low to the ground as you can and shift and tug until you pull it free. Be patient! Breaking small roots is fine but if you hear the main root 'snap' RIP to the plant.

From dirt: Digging around the whole plant is hard to do quickly and seamlessly. Soaking the ground in water or searching after a rain can help you gently pull small plants up.

How to put them in a pot:

Carefully put potting mix around the roots. Don't crush them.

Don't touch any part above the lower stem with dirty hands... especially not new leaves. A speck of dirt on a delicate new leaf can make it start rotting which will spread to the whole plant. Water, immediately. Get only the potting mix wet, not the leaves (that can make them vulnerable to rotting).

Seedlings with broad, big leaves can dry up easily from direct sun exposure, but many aren't happy in the shade So you can cut one of these (cardboard toilet roll centre) in half and put the half around the seedling like a "collar".

How to take care of them:

After transplanting, plants are very weak. It's like recovering from an injury or illness.

Check on the plants at least a couple of times a day and water a little if the potting mix is dry. I like to adjust their location at different times of the day- newer seedlings might need to be moved to a shadier spot when it's sunniest, but later in the evening plants in the shade benefit from being put in the sun.

Don't be discouraged if they die, they had a very harsh early life and some of them won't make it.

As they get bigger you can identify the species you have and decide if you want to plant them. My policy is to plant only species that are native to my area. You WILL find invasive species and you want to get rid of those, trust me. Uprooting them and leaving them on a concrete surface kills just about everything. Don't throw an invasive plant in the grass and DO NOT try to compost them.

When I was a teen and having some growing pains in my back, I used to hope it meant something, that I was going to sprout wings and become special

Now I feel special but the pain hasn't and won't gone away

Your perspectives matter. Your representation matters. You are not bothersome for demanding equal treatment in fandom. It is not your responsibility to make fandom more welcoming and inclusive to you. It is not your sole responsibility to create all of the Black-centered content. You are not "ruining" anyone's fun for demanding better for yourself, and anyone who says otherwise can go fuck themselves. Any fandom worth being a part of should have no room for racism in it.

Black people in fandom, you are wanted. You are needed. You are loved and appreciated. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

intellectual disability be singular diagnosis give to people who struggle with intellectual functioning & adaptive functioning (e.g living skills), rated from mild to profound. it affect everything every single aspect about person.

(UK: learning disability, not to be confused w specific learning disability or UK term learning difficulty. so far only find UK use this term difference.)

intellectual disability often comorbid with autism - different source n study say different things but many place say 30% or more autistic ppl have intellectual disability.

autism (& adhd, specific learning disability like dyslexia, down syndrome, cerebral palsy, etc) be part of wider umbrella called developmental disability (DD).

(technically, intellectual disability also a developmental disability. but because so many other developmental disability comorbid with ID, & ID affect everything single aspect of person, ppl often give it extra emphasis, abbreviating both of them as intellectual / developmental disability (I/DD))

intellectual disability experience & intellectual disability activism need center actual intellectually disabled people / people with intellectual disability. whenever autistic people without ID mistake autism as “an intellectual disability,” it speak over people with ID. it decenter people with ID from their own word / experience / space.

people insulting & mistreating you as autistic person without ID by confuse you with or compare you to people with intellectual disability cry, are saying you “just as bad”, n not mean you affected in same way as people with intellectual disability.

things targeting people with intellectual disability target people with intellectual disability first. they be most affected.

you can (& should) advocate for group of people you not without claim to be one of them. but most of time when people do this, they not even advocating.

I'm backkk y'all :p

It has been revealed via The Cable Forum that Disney Channel USA will be airing both parts of the finale in August, with Secret Protocol (6x25) premiering August 1st and Nemesis (6x26) premiering August 8th !!

These dates have been added to the airdates post, and while yes this is pretty far away lol, lets cross our fingers that another channel comes in before then, esp since Disney is usually the last to premiere episodes. If not though at least we have a latest possible timeline to go off of ;_).

I think that the US transfemme desire to disown drag/ballroom is a symptom of both white culture’s destruction of ancestral ties and the importance of cultural continuity, and of the predominantly white ignorance of it as a gentrified Black art form similar to how whites treat other Black art. They want a destruction of it because they see the effects and results of the gentrified version and assume that’s all there is/was.

In particular it’s frustrating because while some drag queens are cis, a lot are trans women, non-binary, or otherwise transmisogynized and drag/ballroom and the tipping culture associated with it existed in part because the transmisogynized are so fucking unemployable and it provided/s a method beyond mutual aid for the redistribution of money, through the labor of performance.

In relation to trans women, I view drag queens as a pathway to transness similar to crossdressers, femboys, (unfortunately) sissies, and similar - where although the perception of them currently may cause harm to the perception of trans women at large due to the ways they compromise with predominantly white cishetero society to allow transfemmes to explore their gender, they are, in fact, still functionally people within the spectrum of transfemininity even if they haven’t fully accepted their gender expansiveness for themselves. Harm they cause to the perception of transfemmes does not lessen them from that societal assignment, any less than we can say Caitlyn Jenner, Blair White, or Kelly Cadigan are less trans women because of the harm they’ve done to the perception of trans women. They are all, in effect, varying levels of transmisogynized whether they realize it or not.

When I was in DC I knew a lot of drag kings/queens and literally 95% of them are trans and either came to drag/ballroom as a way to explore their gender through art and/or make money bc poor, or started it and it was a gateway to unlocking their gender. Not counting the cis performers elevated by stuff like RuPaul, who is explicitly transphobic, I think I can count on my hands how many cis performers I’ve met. Hell, even with RuPaul shit a number of drag artists who have been on his shows later come out as trans (such as Bosco, who I literally grew up with), in part because they suppressed their transness publicly to maintain their career until they reached a point the blowback of coming out wound impact them less. Pulling a F1NNSTER to keep cash flowing for survival, if you will.

Iunno like. The earliest Balls we have records of were literally 1880-90s, predominantly Black (the oldest drag/ballroom performer we have records of was a Black trans woman from DC), and was one of the only safe places for trans people to exist as themselves. So I find the idea of writing it off due to a much more recent gentrification and commercialization of it as ignorant as how people often treat other demonizes or commercialized Black art.

“I just don’t like the spectacle it makes of transness and harm it causes-“

Baby all Blackness is spectacle to crackers and An Amount of modern drag is white people doing minstrelsy of all Black women - not in the sense of gender at all but in the sense of race.

Like. A lot of Black culture in the US specifically is Big and Loud *because* of the repression of it we’ve faced and the force towards respectability politics, which has echoed to queer culture because queer culture in the US is made vast majority from Black culture. Our existence is a spectacle so why not make a show out of why they hate us and try to erase us so that they can’t get rid of even more.

Hating “the spectacle” of an actual performance art form is solidly rooted in white supremacy and white cultural notions of propriety/respectability. Many aspects of “spectacle” seen in drag are directly taken from Ballroom or adapted from it/vogueing.

In summary: traditions are meant to change with situational, cultural, and environmental need but still be sustained as part of a culture. Gentrification is a poison to this that makes it harder for those the culture belongs to to practice it as it should. White ancestral shame is a poison that makes them think they should nuke everything historic/cultural that makes them uncomfortable regardless of whether it’s theirs or whether it’s something they stole and gentrified. Also yeag like,,, it’s a job/gig income predominantly for societal “undesirables” to make money when they’re under/unemployed due to marginalization. And it’s also been gentrified to *gestures at RuPaul, et al.*

No matter what you think about drag or ballroom, poor predominantly racialized trans folks still gon be doing it because it is part of our culture no matter what tv shows and big names and people who have only seen those do to it, and it’s always going to be seen as one of the “disreputable” pathways to transness that makes other trans people look down on them because of the complicated ties to transmisogyny, because until someone publicly says the words “Im also a trans woman”, WE also view them as a personification of what we fear the world sees us as—a man in a dress—rather than an egg finding their way to gender in a way we deem unacceptable because it doesn’t align with how we think it “should” be done.

And I think that’s on us honestly, not on them. If we say it can take as long or as quickly and as easily or messily for someone to sort out their gender as needed, this also has to be extended to the transmisogynized we view as “disreputable” regardless of if/when they reach a conclusion we deem acceptable or whether they die in the shell, never able to remove their masks fully.

Like, as an example, I *hate* sissies because of the racism endemic to sissy culture, but I still recognize they’re transmisogynized regardless of the harm they do or the disgust I feel towards them.

I also had someone comment on it as a facet of US cultural imperialism, of which I do want to note - drag/ballroom based on Black origins was spreading outside the US back in the 1800s/early 1900s too, there’s photos from other countries of balls explicitly influenced by Black Balls mainly started by Black folks in said countries, an example being early 1900s photos from France of both transmasculine and transfeminine Black people. While modern gentrified drag is 100% exported as part of US cultural imperialism, its original spreads outside of the US were via Black diaspora in-culture. I honestly couldn’t tell you definitively where it stuck and where it didn’t from that original wave, but it’s important to know it existed that way.

Girl do you have any idea how many white transfemmes got their starts as trans women through sissy kink and some *still* claim it even after years of hormones and multiple surgeries, not just for SW reasons either. Shit, a couple of the most prominent white dolls in DC still actively identify as sissies.

Is it uncomfy as hell to know this along with the horrific racism levels innate to sissy shit? Yup! Do a significant amount of trans women still start out as sissies? Sure do!

I need yall to sit and understand im talking about the *material realities* of how the transmisogynized are treated by society, not whether it makes us comfortable or happy to fucking know it. Your personal disgust or uncomfortability with being even peripherally associated with them because of them coming across their gender in a “disreputable” way does not change whether they are transmisogynized or not.

“They can take it off while we can’t! They’re all just men!” Ok so are boymoders not transmisogynized? Are those fully in the closet not transmisogynized? Are the very societal forces that drive them to access any hint of transfemininity they can through any method they can—whether it’s playing a girl in a video game, drag, sissification, crossdressing, or becoming a femboy—not intrinsic proof of their transmisigynization BECAUSE they feel they cannot directly access that transfemininity? Because I thought we had arrived at the conclusion that transmisogynization occurs even before someone comes fully and openly out as some type of transfemme, before they say the words “I am a trans woman”, when or *if* they ever publicly do.

We spend AGES looking at people, dead or alive, and going “oh, that’s a transfemme who hasn’t gotten/didn’t get to come out as one” - We are extremely hypocritical in how we allow or disallow transmisogynized people access to transfemininity based on how we feel they reflect on us as a community. Shit, Kurt Kobain was “just” a crossdresser—and a lot of the girls HATE interacting with crossies personally—but half of the dolls on this site (rightly) claim her as a transfemme who didn’t get to come out before she died. She’s provided that access because she makes us “look good”, “despite” being a crossdresser. In this way, we treat respectability as the bar by which we determine whether we let the “disreputable” transmisogynized be recognized for what they are or not.

Do they experience the full effects of transmisogynization full time? Of course not. But transmisogynization is a spectrum, as we’ve discussed in whether eggs/closeted girls are transmisogynized prior to coming out. The “disreputable” transmisogynized often (though not always) exist in life situations where they cannot safely access transfemininity through other methods or full time, so they do not suffer the same levels of constant transmisogyny as trans women do, but to pretend they aren’t transmisogynized at all flies directly in the face of our own theories and is supported solely by politics of disgust.