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Ah here we are, the last part in this analysis saga of mine. I really wish tumblr would allow more pictures per post, but alas

This ones fun, the rest of these are all the more recent chapters so I’m sure they’ve already been beaten to death, but I might as well throw my hat in the ring too. 

Here we have Loid stepping in front of Yor to protect her once again. 

I really like how protective he is of Yor, I mean sure its cheesy and a classic trope of the guy protecting the girl, but I think this scene speaks volumes. 

Because again, at the very beginning of the manga, he almost left anya for dead essentially. So for him to not only protect Yor, but essentially “sacrifice” himself for her is quite a change from the man we met in chapter 1.

And here we have it folks, are little Twilight has finally had a synapse spark to life in his brain as he realizes he might be compromised. It only took him *checks watch* 130 some chapters? And even then, its not like hes accepting his emotions, but at least he finally realized they were there 

Haaa, its okay bud, Im sure youll get the happy ending you deserve (/gen)

Ah yes, our beloved. This scene is actually what threw me back into spy x family full swinging. Ive been keeping up to date roughly, checking in every month or two and reading the most recent chapters. So here i am, casually reading the newest chapter, and then this bomb dropped. Like a sleeper agent i got awoken and went straight to action and here i am writing part four of a massive analyst post that like 3 people are maybe gonna read 💀 (which is okay! I just need to get my thoughts out there or ill go insane)

Anyway, this scene above all has been beaten to death, so ill let the horse be at rest on this one. 

But i love this panel so very much, ive stared at it for so long.

To end this off with a cherry on top, we got another Anya one! I really like how this got thrown in “what would become of Anya”. I don’t think ever once have we seen him so blatantly worry about her, but this alone is clear as day. Our bro is panicking to death and while his whole life hes been in survival, self preservation, mission above himself mode, his worry and care for his daughter snuck in there anyway. Another blink and you’ll miss it moment that really shows Twilights true feelings. Bro really does love his wife and daughter, this aint some act anymore.

I do really hope that they get to be a happy family at the end and retire, that would be nice and all of them deserve that <3

Also, I’m fairly certain, like if i was a betting man id bet money, that Yor is going to be immune to the sleep dart thing. 100% hands down, this shit gonna backfire so damn hard, good luck Twilight o7

[link to part 3]

I was really hoping I was only gonna need 3 parts but I think I’ll need one more because i wanted to group things together so they are concise.

This series of ss is interesting. We have Yuri, who is essentially nothing but a threat to Twilight in every way, and neither are fond of eachother. And yet Twilight hesitated at killing Yuri when fighting him. I really wonder if Twilight wouldve finished Yuri off if he didnt whisper those words “Yor, forgive me”. 

But hearing those words struck something in Twilight that made him just leave Yuri there instead of finishing him off (which would have only benefitted him). 

I think what I like most is how we see him walk away and we don’t know what he’s thinking at all. Its silent as we see him make his choice and leave Yuri alive, which is against everything in his nature as a spy. There isnt a single reason why it would have been good for him to keep Yuri alive (especially after being shocked at how long Yuri was able to stay up), yet he left him alive anyway, presumable for/because of Yor.

In the same vein of the other three, but with Nightfall again calling Twilight out essentially. 

This scene is interesting, and I like how Nightfall points it out that Twilights response as to why he left Yuri alive was essentially the corporate answer. He didn’t give his true reason, only the reason that is “correct.” Its funny now how, even in his secret double life, he is keeping secrets. But not only that, the master liar is even lying to himself now. 

Because here is a rebuttal: there were two reasons why Yor married Loid. 

To easy her brothers mind

So that she wont get arrested by the SSS

This second reason is in all honesty a bigger reason for her to stay with Loid vs the first. So Twilights argument is pretty weak at best. Because Yor doesn’t know that Yuri works in the SSS. And that wouldnt change if he died. And if he died, then she probably actually would be in danger of the SSS for real, so she technically would have more of a reason to stay with Loid. But note that Twilight doesn’t make that point either. And Nightfall is able to clock that, but she’s right that hes technically not wrong so she cant call him out. But then again, it was only really a half truth. 

Anyway, its interesting cause i think this is the first time we see him lie to his allies. 

I like this one a lot, I’ve seen many other people mention this one. But this follows the scene with Loid sharing about his mother. Once he was in Yors presence and she was happy to see him and welcomed him home, all the fight just left his body at once. He was in a place that he truly felt safe enough for his body to just give out on him.

This is another interesting one in that it asks the question “what would have happend” / “what would he have said” 

Because here we see again of Loid showing his appreciation for Yor, but we get to see his inner dialog for once as it happens. This whole scene is pretty self explanatory, but ig the question is what was he going to say/think before getting cut off?

“Which is why… Yor is perfect for the mother role” perhaps? That seems like a Twilight thing to say. 

But, we’ve seen him have inner dialog already that didn’t match the Twilight we met in chapter one, so maybe thats not what he wouldve said, but who knows.

This is another quick one, not quite blink and you’ll miss it, but you might miss the undertone. 

Specifically I’m talking about Loid grabbing the mans arm and stopping him from reaching for Yor. He does this as he continues talking and even turns to reassure Yor. Granted I don’t think he would have let the man touch her regardless, but even so I think the almost mindless gesture in and of itself speaks above the crowd.

And just another cute short one to end this post off. This one focusing on Anya, and we get to see another one of Loids puff’s of endearment. Just another coin in the piggy bank of little things that stack up.

[link to part 2]

Part 2 here we go

Starting off strong with our beloved nightfall

This is one of the first times Twilight has actually been “challenged” about his feelings towards his “fake family” - yes Frankie has often told him to not get attached, but Nightfall is actually saying “are you sure you haven’t been compromised? Walking your dog and playing house sure doesn’t look like it” kinda thing. 

Yes, granted she has a bias with her own feelings towards Twilight and her wanting to be the wife instead of Yor. 

But I truly love this dialog, its very reminiscent of chapter 3 or whatever when we saw Loid almost punch that guy in the face for making fun of Yor and Anya.

But Nightfall challenges Twilight on whether Yor is fit for the role and that he should reconsider - which sparks tension between them as Twilight clearly does not like being questioned. 

I think to him, this is a contest in his own abilities, which with his developing feelings, he himself has been feeling that hes “off his game”. However, to be challenged by someone bellow his rank he probably takes great offense to.

I don’t know if this is the first time we see Twilight feeling endearment, but either way. That little huff always shows up when he feels endearment to either Yor’s or Anyas reactions. 

Endearment is heavily rooted in your care and is related to positive emotions you feel towards another person and their actions. Being endeared by Yor in this moment and making sure to reassure her is an extremely emotional response, and I think Twilight is being truthful here. He believes he is being truthful, but probably not for the reason it actually is, which is his own care rather than a factual reason. 

As we can see with the next image, Nightfall notices and points this out. 

A well trained spy who, amongst Yor and Anya, knows him the most and longest, can tell that Twilight is experience *real* emotion towards his family. 

This is the first time where its so blatantly shown that Twlight has been compromised and he has developed feelings (whether he knows it or not)

This is just another fun one. Once again, in quite literaly point blank 1 seconds he comes to a conclusion that in all honesty maybe he favors more than Yor. 

Here he is misunderstanding Yor’s intentions because she is drunk - its quite funny actually, that she is trying to say the she is fine with “Loid” and Nightfall being a couple and she doesn’t want to get in the way of them. While Twilight, without understanding the situation fully, is like “aha! She has romantic feelings for me. No problem, I’ll just say I do too (which is definitely a lie and not actually real emotions he has)” 

But for Twilight to then be proven so completely wrong to the point where Yor catches him offguard and knocks him unconscious. 

No one had ever completely caught and knocked out Twilight in many years, so the fact that he was off his game enough to let that happen is telling. 

I love this whole scene in how he got carried away and is confused as to how he was wrong in his assumption. This tells a lot in that his emotions might have been driving part of the train on this one.

This one feels very important to me. One of the very first things Twilight ever tells us in the manga is that he “threw away his identity and past life when he became Twilight”. And we’ve never seen him tell anyone of his past before he became Twilight either up until this point. We saw his flashback but he had never told anyone that, it was just a dream he had. 

But here, when he was coming to he felt safe enough in Yors “embrace” (ig) that it brought him memories of his mom comforting him. And then for him to share that with Yor is so extremely vulnerable (which in a career such as his, is damn near a death sentence) - and yet he feels comfortable enough with Yor to share something he probably has never shared with anyone in his life. This is a HUGE stepping stone for Twilight in terms of his feelings towards Yor and his family in general. He has indeed grown soft - but as we see later with Yor, that might just make him stronger.

This is just another endearing one, we get to see the little puff sigh from Twilight again. Showing that hes growing more and more fond of his family, specifically Yor in this instance. He really does appreciate her taking the time to hang out with them after working so hard. This is just another one of those small things that will stack up over time.

This one is a real small, blink and youll miss it one. I like this one a lot tho and we start to see a lot more of these. 

By this point, Twilight wanting to protect Yor and his family have become “part of his mission” for him. (remember how he almost left Anya for *dead* essentially in chapter 1 / 2). Because the phrasing is important here: “I’ll be watching - ready to protect Yor.” He doesn’t add anything to that sentence. He doesn’t say “ill protect Yor so that we don’t lose the mother role in my mission.” or something along those lines. Just purely “to protect Yor.” With no ulterior motive. 

Why? 

If this is a fake family, you’re only keeping up for appearances sake, why are you protecting her. 

Not in the way of just general speaking, but in this moment, what is Twilights *reason* for saying he wants to protect Yor. 

He doesn’t specify its for his mission (nor does he say whether its cause he’s worried about her tbf). But either way, I feel like the Twilight we met back in chapter one would not have said this the way he did. He wouldv’e thought of himself first, not someone else.

[link to part 1]

Note: I am going in chronological order to the manga

For the most part this is a focus on Twilights feelings towards Yor specifically, but there are a few things towards Anya and the family as a whole.  

Tbh, I feel like his feelings towards Anya and his care for her isn’t as obvious? Don’t get me wrong it’s still there, and granted since I was focusing on Yor specifically, I probably missed some of it. But I feel like it was more obvious when we see Twilight fall for Yor vs Twilight starting to genuinely care for Anya. 

But regardless of that, as I said this will more so focus on Yor so

(also keep in mind that this is my analysis so i prob go off the deep end on things that mean nothing but im obsessed and having fun with it so)

To start off, I think the most important thing to note is the very beginning of the manga. Something I love about it is the irony as when Twilight introduces himself he’s like “a normal life and a family is something I’ll never have” kinda thing and then he’s forced to have one for his mission… 

But this is important because its setting up two expectations. 

At the very least, *he* does not believe he will or deserves to have a normal life and a family. (whether or not he *wants* one is a different question)

Now that he does have a family, how strong were those feelings towards not having a family? 

The answer to that I think can be answered with his flashback to when he was a child, and his reasoning for being a spy in the first place. He never got to live a normal life with a family, or develop relationships normally either because of the war (and neither did Yor for that matter). But more so, its not something he *never* got to have its something that got *taken away* from him. And in a way, hes been fighting for it ever since. 

The reason I say that is, “you cant miss something you never had”, which is true, and thats not the case here. Because he did have a mother and father that he remembers, and he did have friends that he remembers as well - but those got *taken away* from him. So he in a way, *does* miss that.

Now with having a fake family, he in a way, gets what was taken away from him back, which I think is why his resolve falls so quickly (especially compared to Yor). 

In contrast, Yor had the same upbringing in that her chance at a normal life and family was taken away, the only difference is that she had Yuri. She wasnt alone and she did still have family. Thats why Yor immediately and gladly fell into the role of playing Anyas mother and taking that seriously, AND thats why I think it took her so long to fall for Loid. She has always sacrificed herself to take care of others, so for her to be “selfish” and fall for Loid is something she never got to really experience normally. 

To summarize, both Yor and Twilight had their childhoods and life taken away from them, and with their fake family together, they were essentially given those things back. 

And whether they realize it or not, I think they wanted those things back.

Also, as I’ve already alluded to; I’ve read the manga 3 times now and I’ve been keeping up with the new chapters when they come out. I just finished re-reading it, and dog, Twilight/Loid genuinely falls in love with Yor by like, chapter 3, I’m not kidding. 

*Yor* on the other hand, it took her fricking 120(?) ish chapters to realize she loved Loid. Doesn’t matter who said it first, the point is I genuinely think she fell after Loid did. 

Anyway enough with the dilly dallying lets get to my analysis of specific scenes.

This one is a simple scene but it’s important in that it establishes both of their personalities in a way. It shows their strength and competency that they both get to see in eachother, and their quirkiness towards the situation of “you really sent him flying!” I think in terms of relationships this is where they “click” in a way, not love or anything, not even platonic really, but this is where they first get a real sense of eachother and the idea/feeling that they will probably get along.

So literally as I said, dog fell by chapter 3. 

I know that this is technically also defending Anya, and thats fine by me we can include that. 

But I gotta say, this is my favorite panel in the entire manga, hands down. 

Like literally how he goes from “let him smear us. We were a fake family anyway” to then hearing the guy go “your wife sucks lol” and Twilights IMMEDIATE reaction was “ight guess I gotta kill this guy.” The fact that this is genuinely like day 2 of his mission and he has ALREADY lost control of his emotions is lowkey insane. Like I genuinely love how quickly he was to defend his family of 2 days. I also think this defines his true personality as well. 

Something I love recently that ive been seeing is people noting how Loid and Yor wouldnt be a “lovey dovey” couple anymore after the most recent chapter (135). 

In my defense, I could tell day one that neither of them would have a “normal”, “lovey dovey” relationship. We already know that both of them have lived tough lives, neither are normal or had normal upbringins, and both have done countless heinous things. Obviously their probably not gonna be the most normal couple, but I digress. 

I don’t even really know why Twilight acted out so strongly here, but i love it nevertheless. 

This is just another simple one. I think this might also play along with Twilight being a “softy” in receiving compliments. And compared to Yor, Loid has no experience really when it comes to raising a child - which is why Yor’s words meant so much. 

I don’t think theres much more to it other than her words touched him, and its those little things that build up into something greater.

This is an Anya/family one. As I mentioned at the beginning, Twilight said he would “never have a family” etc, but now we get this. 

I think this is one of the most important panels in the whole manga in terms of Twilights feelings towards his fake family. Its *doubt* for lack of a better word. He has always lived under the pretext and expectation that he never *could* have a family. But now that he does, he is starting to wonder what it would be like if it were *real.* Skipping over if he would want a real family, but if he were to have one at all. The fact that he is considering this is a massive shift in the rest of the manga in terms of his feelings, because now along with his mission there is always an additional thought of “what if this was my real family?” 

Anyway, food for thought, the seeds of doubt have been sowed and it will grow into a thorny plant indeed. 

I just love this one to be honest with you. The fact that it took Twilight exactly one second flat to be like “yeah okay I guess I’ll kiss Yor” is so funny to me. Like I know this is his job and hes probably done way “worse” stuff than that for other missions, but its gen so funny to me how initially he was in shock/angry/seemingly against it, but then literally in 1 second hes like “ight im good, wheres the chapstick” like its so funny to me how quickly he “folded” lmao

So imo, this is *actually* where Twilights feelings become real or at the very least start to form. As like I said above, the doubt sets in. 

It got cut off in my ss but Frankie asks Loid “don’t tell me you feel bad about spying on Yor” and whats SO IMPORTANT here, is that Twilight does not deny him. He doesn’t even try to. He just changes the subject and moves on, deflects it entirely. 

Mmmm tasty tasty repression of feelings hehe. 

Keep in mind, Loid isn’t necessarily a “good person.” Hes a spy and hes doing what he believes is right, but hes by no means a good person or has done good things. He will do whatever it takes for his mission, whether it be seducing someone to killing them. The FACT that he *feels bad* about doing his *job*, something hes done countless times, not to mention the fact that hes probably done way worse to other people. But that he feels bad is so interesting. 

Now you could argue that hes never done anything for his mission to “civillians”, but we don’t really know that. Hes been doing this 10 years, I’m sure hes done some stuff to innocent civiliians to get the job done. (ik it might not be what one would want to hear and that this is a quirky manga, but they arent afraid to get gruesome and kill people so I see no reason why this is where the line would be drawn). 

Anyway, the fact that he is doubting something that he would normally never think twice about is very important, his resolve and detachment towards his mission is already cracking.

Still following Twilight feeling bad, this kind of just puts the nail in the head. Yor is showing her appreciation for Loid, something that Twilight has faked and knows he doesn’t really deserve in an honest sense. But with Yor being so kindhearted and proven not evil and with the SSS like he suspected, it deepns that guilt he feels towards doubting her. Which, again, isn’t really something he should be affected by. I also really really love the added verbage of him crushing the listening device and throwing it away, when Yor asked what it was his response being “that gunk I picked off you earlier” - this has a double meaning. 

For one its his cover story, sure, but two, in a way its a metaphor. Guilt isn’t ever associated with “cleanliness”, same with doubt and accusations, etc. Those are dirty things that people try to dig up on others. So the fact that he addresses it as “gunk” is also saying that he feels gross and guilty towards his actions - essentially confirming in a way that he does feel guilty.

Also, the second nail (or the first ig) is the fact that he *crushed* the listening device. He broke it. That action is a finalization in the fact that he trusts Yor and will never doubt her again, and he feels guilty for doing it at all. (which is ironic if you think about it, considering we know that Yor isn’t being truthful to “Loid” either)

You’d think that he might keep the listening device in case he were to use it again in the future, but almost to make a point to himself, he breaks it and throws it away.

Im rereading spy x family after ch 134 came out because I am fucking OBSESSED with loids character and how he isn't aware of his own feelings

But DOG bro literally fell in love with yor by like chapter 5

Cause like in chapter 8 he was already defending her like

I am absolutely OBSESSED with this panel like omg

Hes like "it doesn't matter were a fake family"

Other guy "your second wife sucks"

Loid "welp guess i have to kill this guy now"

Like i cannot belive that loid fell first before yor and yor fell harder. But I chose to believe loid developed feelings for yor after he investigated her and felt guilty about doubting her - i think that was the catalyst for him and that was like chapter 5 💀

Bro yor doesn't fall / realize her feelings for another like 100 chapters 💀💀

Anyway im literally obsessed with the story and all of these characters sm - good luck loid in the next chapter 🫡