florabells

✩ you will find peace

✩ you’ll get through this

✩ you’ll be okay

humans are fucking terrible and this awful world we live in will fucking kill you but if you are kind, if you are brave and clever and try really hard, you can defy it. you can impose on this bleak and monstrous structure something beautiful. even if it’s temporary. even if it doesn’t heal anything inside you that’s been hurt.  

it just requires that you be kind. viciously. vengefully. you fight back. you plant flowers. give to charity. play games. pet someone’s dog. scream into the dark. paint and write and dance, tell jokes, sing songs, bake cookies. you have been hurt and you don’t have to deny that hurt. you just have to recognize it in other people, and take their hand, and say: no more. enough. fuck this. no more. 

have a cookie.

2. A good quote: There are two kinds of people. Those who think, “I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.” And those who think, “I suffered; why shouldn’t they?”

3. Two good quotes by Kurt Vonnegut: “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies-“God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

“I. THIS IS NOT A GAME.

II. HERE AND NOW, WE ARE ALIVE.”

You can be kind and fuel it with rage. You can be kind and fuel it with a bitter twist, or you can be kind and fuel your kindness with righteous anger, or you can be kind and fuel it with love or spite or ecstatic joy. And no matter what your fuel is, you still can make kindness happen in the world so that people can warm themselves by it.

Kindness isn’t an emotion, kids. That’s the thing. Kindness is action. Kindness is choosing to take your emotions and channel them towards doing the most good where you can; to choose the targets of your actions carefully; to spread a little joy behind you, when you have a little to spare.

Kindness can mean a gentle word or a shouted imperative. It can be a warm meal or a gentle hug or a clean death. Kindness can manifest in many ways, and not all of them are one hundred percent nice. The kind thing to do may be doing nothing at all. 

But kindness is, above all else, an action. We are imperfect humans, and we cannot control our emotions–but we can control what we do as a result. We can control the actions that our emotions and experiences propel us to perform. 

The darkness is nothing but the absence of light, you know. It is endless and nihilistic and all enveloping. A lit candle has no hope against it.

But if enough of us light small candles and little matches behind us as we walk through this wide, uncaring universe, we can light up that sky. We can take an empty world and we can fill it with each other. 

“We’re each of us alone, to be sure. What can you do but hold your hand out in the dark?” - Ursula K. LeGuin, The Wind’s Twelve Quarters, Volume 1

“It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. you possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.” - Ursula K. LeGuin, The Dispossessed

Here are some links to reinforce the importance of what is said here: 1. Human beings consistently become more cooperative, compassionate, and constructive following major disasters.

2. Normalcy bias, also called bystander syndrome, is what happens when people don’t know how to react to an emergency, so they wait for someone else to move first. 

kissing can and will, get boring.

its ok to go to sleep on opposite sides.

forgetting favorites, dates and replies is only human.

you dont have to like, or be friends with all of their friends and vice-versa.

they have a right to spend weekends dedicating to their friends and family. you have the same right.

privacy is still in play.

trying simple things that they like, no matter how much you are sure you will dislike it, is a very small step you can take to show your love to them.

you dont gotta have the same taste in music, food, books etc.

saying i love you, thank you, take care, please and i missed you really helps.

you cant agree with all their life decisions and they cant with yours. keeping an open mind and having an honest and deep discussion about it helps. 

they dont need your permission to do things and neither you need theirs.

the intention and care behind the gift matters. not its price tag. 

dont try and change them. help them become better versions of themselves and get the same help and support and care from them.