Stars, Snakes, Flames, and Letters
Pairing : Renaissance painter Harry X Noble Y/N
Warning : Slight peek of domestic abuse; forced diet; arson.
Synopsis : Y/N is to get married to the nephew of Viscount, Carl. But her heart lurches for the one she has been writing letters to for the past few days. Everyone is deaf to her pleas until she takes matters in her own hand
I saw you at Ethan’s atelier earlier today. You looked pretty focused on the decoration. I wonder if you need some time off from your master. You have been working day-in and day-out after all. I always see you by the church nowadays, trying to paint the ceiling, although most times Ethan likes to push you away. He must love you too much to put you in that danger. You have got very beautiful, skilled hands, I must say, giving a feminine and masculine touch wherever necessary. The painting of me that you brought in the other day was really extravagant. I can just wish and believe that you were the one who added the color to the blank canvas and not Ethan.
I don’t like to see you striving day and night, only to find you on the ground beneath the stars to call it a day. I am afraid, you might someday fall off the wooden pillars or get bitten by snakes when you sleep on the ground. You might just call me paranoid, but I would call it being worried. I hope to hear soon from you. Be safe.
Rolling the letter and tying a string around it to keep it safe, you get out of the study, trying not to bump into any of the servants or the guards. Soon, there would be people trying to pull you in for your etiquette class or dance class and you completely despised that. You had a proper enthusiasm for art. That was probably the main reason why you took an interest in Harry. He was an enthusiastic lad, using all of his muscle energy to hold up ladders and hang from high spaces to be able to paint.
You wrapped a red scarf around your face, so as to hide from people and walked to the stable, where your favorite horse, a black and white Appaloosa, was being taken care of.
“Hey Ron”, you walked closer to the horse, cupping its relaxed face as the creature walks towards you and leans forward, observing another familiar white sheet that was to be delivered. He let out a breath, mocking you. “Hey, don’t be like that, show some support here. I am trying to win him”, you say, smiling at the creature. “Miss Y/n, are you around?”, there were people searching for you already, and quite desperately. “Please let’s make it quick”, you mutter before undoing its ropes and straddling it. Giving the leash a fine tug and whip, you let the horse ride you through the back gates of the fort which hadn’t been clearly maintained for years. You didn’t need to tug at the leash for long because moments later, Ron stopped in front of the church. Your gloved hand tugged on the leash to get Ron onto the side and tie him to a low pillar. Inside the church, men went in and out like ants, the females only bringing in food and water for them. You suddenly spot Harry, standing on a makeshift ladder, splashing the baby blue hue all over the wall and spreading it around. He looked child-like under the ochre light that fell from the skylights. His shirt which was open halfway through had absorbed certain hues of brown and yellow, and now this certain shade of baby blue.
You smiled looking at him.
“Yo lady, do you have any work in here?”, a masculine sound voiced from behind you. A completely clothed male with papers that looked important asked you. “I am just a mere messenger, I need to deliver it to someone”, you cooked up a lie and the man laughed, in a loud voice. You felt your cheeks go hot under the red scarf. “You are dressed too well to be a messenger, young lady”, his voice boomed and now you could spot Harry’s furrowed eyes on you. You had never spoken to him before, just delivering letters to him. His gaze, intensifying on you, made you sweaty.
At first, it was a plan of mischief, to piss off your father as he pressed on to get you engaged with some nobleman, but, you still wanted to discover a lot of things for you spent days caged in the fort. When the nephew of Viscount, Carl, had taken you to the church, showing off his plans, you had instantly taken a liking to Harry, his hardworking and cold demeanor, just getting to you even more.
From the corner of your eye, you could see Harry settle down the bucket of paint and climb down the stairs.
“That must be for me”, he came towards you, taking the letter from you, saving you from further embarrassment.
“Huh? Since when did lowly creatures like you start getting considerate letters from people? You are saying to me that you are that important?”, the cloaked man left no room in berating Harry, as if he had been looking for a chance to do so. Suddenly there was a sharp noise of a slap in the room and in the next moment, Harry was lying on the ground, taking in kicks after kicks to his stomach from the clothed man who looked furious. Your blood was now curdling with fury and you were about to take out your dagger to finish this cloaked man once and for all, but then, Harry spoke up, “Got...a mother...and a sister...back home...They are often...worried”, and you knew this was a blatant lie.
The man stopped kicking the man and huffed. “Even if you don’t look like it, you have a family too. Huh, who would’ve guessed! Master shouldn’t be taking lowly creatures like you as his apprentice, you shame us high nobles who are more worthy of being under Master Ethan. You are good for nothing”, with those few words he walked away with his pride in his hand. You watched his walking figure as if you were ready to rip his head off and to be brutally honest, you were. But right then, you heard a coughing movement from below and looked at Harry writhing in pain and quite a little blood.
“Are you good, young man?”, you asked, with a soft voice quite reaching his soul.
“I am good. Thank you”, he says as you help him up. “Is that a letter for me?”, he asks and you nod, handing him the paper which is now crumbled under the impact of your rage. “I used to wonder where these letters came from in my bag”, he gives a small laugh, as he painfully clutches his stomach and rises to his feet. “I think you need a doctor”, you say worriedly. “This is a daily fit for us, don’t worry about it Miss”, he gives a charming smile, and your heart wretches at his pain, looking at his paint-absorbed shirt, absorbing red blood as well. “I shall take my leave then”, you say, getting up to your feet too, and walking slowly to Ron. The horse recognizes your footsteps and rises to its four limbs, waiting for you to straddle his back. Instead, you let a tear slip for nobles aren’t allowed to cry over their sealed fates.
“Let’s go back”, you say as you jump over the saddle and rush through passageways to find an opening through the back gate and to the lonely stable. Hurdling over fences and walls, you finally find your way to the stable, your black dress pants now having splatters of mud while your gumboots were completely mudded. You took no notice of that anyhow.
So when you tie Ron up, him giving a shrill neigh, you smooch over his forehead one last time before running back into the fort. The guards were looking for you all over the place. Your family wasn’t as rich as the royal family, but quite close to it. Your brother had an affair with the Archduke’s sister, and although it rose some conflicts, in the end, the two families tied knots. That would explain, the increased number of armed men in your household since the last two years.
Catalina was sweet. She treated everyone equally and your brother was like the waves, spurts of energy were random.
One day he would be dragging you to practice sword fight and then the other day, he would sleep on your lap and ask you to read a book to him. You had drawn quite a few portraits of Catalina and your brother Dave already. While Catalina wanted you to excel in the field, your parents were a major stone in the path.
After finding out that you had been selling artworks and even had joined a Venetian atelier under a pseudonym, they forced you into your room, not allowing you outside anymore. Even Catalina was prohibited from meeting you.
Your classes were taken regularly, except for the art. Maybe, because you had known that once they find out your preference, they would snatch it away from you, you had never really let them known, but now everything was going down.
A week later, your engagement was fixed; with the nephew of the Viscount. Dave had never seen you sadder.
After seeing Dave, you had thought you’d have the right over your partner too but guess not. You met the nephew of the Viscount, and you had found out, he was a heavy drinker. If there was time left after drinking, he spent it playing with girls. To save the noble name of your parents and to get the nephew of Viscount a stable title, both parties were joined.
So that night, you had decided to run off, no matter what.
But on your way, you saw Harry, sleeping peacefully under the creamy moonlight, a rag over himself to protect from the cold breeze. That was when you realized you were cold too.
You were just 20. You wanted to do a lot of things. You wanted to fall in love too.
But after all, your gender, your social status, and not your experience or talent, mattered.
You knew of your sealed fate, and yet, you couldn’t accept it.
But Harry, at that night, shivering but sleeping peacefully had stirred your heart. Getting your woolen shawl from your bag without thinking of outcomes, you pulled it over him. He wasn’t shivering anymore. It warmed your heart.
You had returned to your room. Maria, who had been searching for you sighed with relief. Maria had been the only constant in your life. Maria hadn’t run off to the guards or Catalina yet, so that was a good sign that night.
So today, when you returned, you hid in a bush, trying to catch the attention of Maria so she could divert the attention of others.
You took the engagement ring given by your tool of a fiance and reflected the light upon Maria. When she looked back at you, you grinned and she sighed in relief. She muttered something to the servant next to her and everyone ran towards the front gate.
After everything, she rushed towards you, “Where were you? The nephew of Viscount is coming to meet you in the next thirty minutes, and oh God! How have your clothes become so dirty?”, she asked all at once in a hushed tone.
You giggled at her worriedness. “I am worried here.”, she hushed again.
“Relax, we still have thirty minutes, yeah?”, you patted her back and walked through the hallways.
“What are you up to these days? I am so sick worried about you, you know? Catalina and Dave are one thing, but when it comes to My Lady and My Lord, things are different. You know they are so harsh”, she said with a sad face, looking down to the floor.
“When I was born in here, my fate was sealed. Either to live like death or to die. There is nothing we can do about it”, you sighed, with a smile, walking into the small bath area. As you twisted the buttons of your shirt, Maria stood behind you, her eyes scurrying over your features.
Feeling her eyes all over your body, you smirked at her. You turned towards her, looking at her confused state and then pinning her arms over her head, you looked her in the eye, “Is there anything you want, dear Maria”, her eyes bulged out as she gulped for air like a fish, pushing you off. “Get done with your games, Y/N. Carl has already slept with thirteen of your maids.”, she informed as you hummed, getting into the water. “Were you one of them, Maria?”, you asked, with a suggestive wiggle of brows. Her mouth fell agape again. “Be serious, y/n!”, she scolded you lightly, lifting her dress up to help you with bathing. “Would you sleep with him given a chance?”, you asked again. “Y/N!!”, she gave you a stern glare. You gave out a little giggle. “Was it consensual? The maids and Carl?”, you asked her. “From what I’ve heard, yes. The maids are talking way too much about it. I didn’t like it”, she said to shush you down. “Besides, I would prefer you over Carl”, she muttered low and you assumed she spoke her thoughts out and therefore you had no intention of bringing it up.
“Maria, do you like how your life is? The nobles stomp on you like dirt and yet, you have the freedom to go anywhere you want and marry whoever you like.”, you said, pursing your lips into a tight line. Maria’s hands graze over your back, the scars still fresh from a few days ago from Y/n’s father. “I just admire you, a lot. I know how life is not all about money, but when I look at you smile even after everything, I think you are stronger than your position.”, she said and you stopped playing with the water now. “Why don’t you just follow the rules to be safe? If My Lord and My Lady know that you had been missing, then things won’t end well”, she sighed rubbing over your scars again.
“Whatever happens, they won’t kill me. And until and unless I die, everything is fine”, you said, when there was a knock on the door. “Y/n? Are you back?”, a soft voice asked from the other side of the door. You recognize it immediately as Catalina.
“Yeah, I am back”, you say in a slight cheery tone. The door slides and Catalina appears. Maria stands up to bow to Catalina and leaves the place. You knew about the impending disappointing lecture to come. “Y/n? Where were you? I had been trying to find you for so long!”, she gushes, a disappointed frown on her face as you let the water slide down your body, the soap slowly washing off.
“Just to the library”, you say, hoping it would get her. “Y/n, I am not a fool. It’s been the sixth time in the span of two weeks. If you are seeing someone, you can say to me. I will try to convince mother. I am sure if Dave and I try to explain to her, she will get rid of Carl, and let you marry the person you are seeing”, there were hopes in her voice.
“So after all, you too want to break my engagement with Carl?”, you asked, no humor or muse in your voice. “I told you already, Catalina, my fate is sealed. Since I have longed for something forbidden, I must bear the results of it.”, you say, getting into the dress that Maria had got you because of Carl’s arrival. “He hasn’t deflowered you, has he?”, she asked, tremor in her voice. “Nor will I let him to.”, you reply.
You side the curtains and walk out to Catalina, with a soft smile. “Catalina, one day Y/n will die, but with that death, she will finally be living.”, if Catalina was as wise as the princess maybe she would have figured out what you meant.
You walk away from her to the garden where Carl seemed to be waiting for you.
It was just 6 days before your marriage. It would either end up in flames or in vain. You still had a smile.
“Y/n, long time no see. I have been waiting for you for the past 10 minutes”, he mutters in utter politeness for your brother Dave, who had been standing by to keep him company. “Aah, I apologize. I just had some affairs to run”, you smile gently at him. “Did you have affairs to run or had to run for an affair?”, he asked wiggling his brows. You could see Dave trying to keep his cool. Your smile didn’t falter. “You have got a nice sense of humor, considering that you won’t be getting your position of the next Viscount if you don’t marry me”, you reply back and watch Dave smirk as Carl’s words get stuck up in his throat. He clears it and offers you to sit.
“So, how has been your new painting of the church coming along?”, he asked, musing himself with a cup of tea. “More than anyone else, you should know that I have given up painting”, you reply as Dave stands up to leave, not being able to bear the moron.
“Can I ask you why did you have to come here, Carl?”, you asked him directly, getting yourself a cup of coffee.
“I just came to pay a visit to my dear fiance”, he humors you.
Or maybe to bed another one of the maids. You bite your tongue at that.
“You can do whatever you want, but please be sure to take permission.”, you said and got up to leave. “I have quite a few things to do before the marriage.”, you say finally.
Your dance instructor, Miss Rose was probably biting her nails off because of how you couldn’t nail the dance step. Not that you would ever go to that part.
Even when you were with Carl, you pretended that you were with Harry.
Hath he a lover? Hath he a partner? Does his love shine bright for her? Does he promise to fly and burn like Icarus for her?
It would be sad if Harry had someone else to call home; what would be sadder is to be stuck somewhere you don’t belong in.
The ballroom is practically empty devoid of any being. You decide to wait for Miss Rose when the door slides back.
The instructor comes back to look you into the eyes along with someone on her tow. Your eyes bulge out to meet the same emerald eyes which when weighed down with the emeralds won’t even amount to it. His gaze intensifies on you, again. It hadn’t been more than an hour since you last saw him, but it sure felt like ages.
“He is the best artist Ethan could suggest. We want you to stand in your position so he can paint you because your father wants it as a part of the decor for the marriage”, Miss Rose explained in her gruff voice as her gray ballgown barely touched the ground, but Harry’s eyes fell directly to the ground. If in shame or disappointment, you were yet to find.
“Stand straighter!”, she growled, her thin smooth bamboo stick making contact with your feet as you were about to fall. “Make sure you don’t paint those blemishes and scars. They are disgusting and not noble-like”, she demanded of Harry to which he nodded.
So as you stood there, pained with pointed heels and layers of clothes, his eyes took you in to put it into his painting. He had internally sworn to make this the best portrait he ever painted. You had sworn to be the best model he had drawn in a while.
With every stroke of his brush and every flutter of your eyelids, time passed, him focusing on your perfection, you focusing on his eyes grazing over you.
So after an hour when his brush stopped stroking, Miss Rose stood by Harry and looked over his shoulder at the painting. It was half painted, the face details yet to be drawn. “I was wondering if she must be tired, having been stood there for so long”, he raised a brow at her while she snarled. “Alright, you can take a break. Miss Y/n, please go to the kitchen, some staffs need you there”, she strictly asked of you to which you knew better than to say no, so you bowed to her and went off. Your feet were killing you, your face distorted into pain as you took step after step. You saw Harry’s adam’s apple move as he watched you in pain.
Without your knowledge, he watched you intently walking to the kitchen till you were out of his sight. “Harry as a thank you for coming in here on such short notice, I want you to have lunch in the fort. You have been doing such a hard job. I will ask Maria to guide you”, Miss Rose mumbled to Harry and he was a little overwhelmed by all this. “T-Thank you, Miss Rose”, he muttered.
Maria entered the ballroom, expecting to see you modeling while the said painter painted you, but you were not there, instead there was a man, looking like he had fallen from the stars. His back sagged as he waited for someone to tell him to make the next move. “Excuse me, are you Harry?”, a voice asked him from behind. He turned around to see a girl in the same ivory black uniform as all other maids. “Y-Yeah, I am”, he stammered, not being able to find the perfect words.
“You may come this way. Miss Y/n will be waiting for you”, she bowed down in greeting before leading him the way. On his way, Harry took in every detail of the grandiose fort. It looked all so festive, but the ache in his heart couldn’t reside. He had waited far too long, to write back to you, but he hadn’t, because he had braced himself to kiss you under the stars one day; to take you to the lake under starlight; show you the trees in the forest that he carved your name. But probably, he was being played. He didn’t want to believe it. So he didn’t.
As he entered the grand kitchen with people standing to serve him, he felt out of place. He could hear a few of the maids gasp at his build and structure. He, however, felt uncomfortable. Noticing his dilemma you clapped your hands to let the people out of the kitchen.
“Welcome, Harry”, you smiled at him, while his eyes looked at any feature of your face but your smile.
“What’s going on? Weren’t you the one writing me letters?”, he asked, and your smile dropped down to a frown.
“Yeah, that’s me”, you admitted.
“And you are getting married to the nephew of Viscount, one who has never had a reputation in front of the whole nation? I am confused here.”, he asked, mirth lurking behind his words.
“Harry, I would like to assume, you and I stem from the very same roots, if there is going to be one difference it is that you are the wider broader, branch of the tree, strengthened through wind and storm, I am like the newest twig, a gentle tug and I will be off”, you smiled again, after all, it was your second nature, “that is why I have two questions from you, one, do you have a lover? And if the answer to it is no, I have another question, would you run away with me?”, you laid out your proposal, without thinking it through.
His mouth opened and closed, like a fish fresh out of water. “But, if we get caught, there will be high punishments on me, my lady”, he said, his voice low, gears running his head. You moved a step closer to him, taking his face in your hands for the first time, touching him, feeling him for the first time. “If y/n ceases to exist, then will you run away with me?”, you asked him. His arched brow, asking questions his lips couldn’t formulate. “I will write about it in the next letter”, you smiled at him.
The painting was done. Another maid gushed out to gossip with Maria about how she thought Carl might marry her instead of the lady, because well, it is a revolutionary era, anything could happen. Miss Rose was still strict about your posture and diet, which always tends to leave you hungry until night.
All you awaited was daylight.
_________________________
Harry had tried to convince you on receiving the letter before 2 days of marriage that it wasn’t safe; that it could cost your life; but you had stayed adamant. He had sighed.
_________________________
The day of marriage came. You had been anything but excited. You had a jittery feeling in the pit of your stomach. You had thrown up three times while Miss Rose called the action un-lady-like. You felt a hand on your shoulder when you were locked in your room for the makeup people to make you beautiful and flawless as Miss Rose had said. You were ready to give a smile to whoever it was, it turned out to be Catalina.
“Hey Catalina, how can I help you?”, you asked her. “I need some time alone, please”, she asked and you dismissed the people out of the room. “What happened?”, you asked her, through hooded eyes. “I know about Harry. And I know about your plan through the letter you took for Harry”, she confessed. “Then why did you wait till today? If you wanted, you could have used the information ever since you got to know about it”, you asked, with an unwavering smile. “I have prepared Ron behind the fort, he will take you to wherever you want. It isn’t fair to leave him behind”, she said with a smile, and you could cry for it. You hugged her, flushing your head on her bosom, inhaling the sweet scent of hers, as if you would have just the memory of the scent for the rest of your life, and it wasn’t wrong either.
__________________________
The white veil was presented, the flower crown sitting atop it, securing it, the train of your dress long enough to wrap around your body twice, the coming disaster was going to ruin it all though. Holding your father’s arm in arm, walking down the aisle, you were sure, you wouldn’t let your first kiss to someone who wouldn’t consider you as a second choice.
Your father took a step back and the priest started reading the words from the Bible, trying to seal the bond, when one of the flower-train decorated over the pillars fell down, tossing over a long decorative container with fire, to the ground. It crawled rapidly through the curtains, sending the guests into a frenzy. Carl, the priest, and your father were first to run away from the place while you acted stuck. People would soon be here to rescue you but the arson had intensified. The train and dress sure caught fire. You looked up at Maria who was watching you from the floor above where the fire hadn’t reached yet and for safety, a rope hung down to the backyard from the window. When she nodded, you got off the clothes. You ran to one of the windows, behind which Catalina was waiting with another pair of clothes. Putting on the rags, kissing her tears, and replacing the smoke in your lungs with her scent for a while, you got ready to run away. “Here, take this. It’s not much, but it will be foolish to not have anything”, she smiled again at you. That was the first time ever since that you cried. She held you close to her chest. “Y/n, be good. I love you. Don’t cause trouble to Harry, okay? I will always be here”, she said, running her thumb over your tears. You nodded, unable to formulate any words. You kissed her cheek and then, hugged her. Next thing, you were sprinting off to the back gate.
You would forever be grateful to Maria, who you knew was in love with you. Pretending to never know was much easier to stay with her than to have run off. You wouldn’t be seeing her now though. Harry waited with menacing Ron, with a smile.
“Let’s go”, you smiled at him, holding his hand to get on Ron.
“Now that we are leaving the place, do you have something to say?”, he asked, pressing a soft kiss behind your ear as he drove Ron through the forest.
“If a cage was enough to bind an eagle, it wouldn’t break all of them for the sake of someone, someone her own kind”, you could feel his smile through another kiss to your earlobe.
“I had always waited for you. I won’t be able to give you the best bedding to sleep in, the best food to eat, or the best of luxuries, but, I will help you get into the atelier of McCarthy, he is very inclusive and caring. Ethan suggested me to him, so he is already waiting for me in Ripon.”, his words brought tears to your eyes, and you couldn’t help but think of how this man you had never met in your entire life was willing to put in more effort than anyone ever had.
“The world will forget Y/n, now that she’s dead”, you mumbled softly.
“I will remember Y/n, who wrote letters and came to leave by my bag every time even if she got punished for setting foot out of the fort. I will remember y/n, who went through every pain with nothing but a smile. I will remember Y/n, who I painted and I will remember Y/n, who set an arson to her own marriage, risking everyone’s life only to be free.”, he muttered.
“I can’t wait to live this life”, you said again, the grin on your face everlasting.
“Welcome to this life Y/n or maybe I should call you Mrs. Styles now; Welcome to the life of unguaranteed pay, or food for the day; the life of being kicked and picked at; the life with the biggest pothole, insufficiency; the life where you won’t paint to compete but to survive, and in short, painting becomes your life”, he muttered with a soft smile.
“In the end, we will survive Harry; You and I. We will survive. It’ll all come around. On cold nights, we will be each other’s warm blankets; on days we are lost, we will be each other’s pole star; we will find a way around to be back to each other, Harry”, you muttered, lifting your head up to meet his expensive-than-emerald eyes.
“It won’t be easy; but even if it’s difficult, I will make sure I comfort you through it”, he muttered, kissing the top of your head.
And you knew, even if you ended up sleeping under the stars, along with the snakes, you would survive it all because you would have him.
I know this sucks, lmao! I sat to write it for like 5 days and now i hate it in 5 minutes.
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