Choosing Recovery

Encountered my first relapse today

Had this intense urge to purge, and ended up giving into the desire, and felt grossly better afterwards.

And after that I started counting calories and almost convinced myself that “it’ll make the feelings go away”. Yeah I know the truth, but it feels nice to have a bit more control now.

I plan on forcing myself to eat a piece of cake and have a glass of wine later. It’ll be my big “Fuck you, Anorexia and Bulimia!” Before I go to bed.

I’m refusing to indulge in my urge to work off every calory I’ve consumed today, because I already let myself go enough.

Gonna avoid the mirror for the rest of today though, just to make sure my Anorexic brain doesnt try to say some shit to me and make me feel super fucking horrible.

I hope everyong is going okay today and is safe!

Hey yall, being skinny doesnt make you beautiful.

Just to remind you that these women are models.

I am tired of letting our disgusting, unrealistic beauty industry conduct how women and men should look.

We are human and deserve to look they way WE want to, not the way people expect us to.

I am beautiful, stretch marks, chub and all.

Just because I am overweight does not mean I am less deserving of love, respect or self worth.

I am going to convince myself of that too.

I dont want to count calories, push exercises to the point of illness, and restrict for days. I want to enjoy a burger and fries with the love of my life without hating myself.

I’ll get there.

These women are beautiful

Chubby is beautiful

Skinny is beautiful

Y’all

Ive decided to recover

Because I’m tored of hating my rolls.

Tired of hating my stretchmarks.

Ive taken steps already into recovering.

I am trying to destroy my routine.

And I deleted all of my thinspo from my phone and replaced them with plus sized models who are gorgeous.

I might change this account into healthspo, meaning start posting beautiful bigger women and men.

I want to encourage recovery.

We need to stop basing ourselves off of people with unrealizstic body types, who pose and suck in for photos.

Anorexia is boring, lets eat and enjoy our bodies.

If you decide to stop your birth control without telling your boyfriend, and he is under the impression you are still using birth control

That

Is

Unconsensual

Sex