Captain Weirdsome

Swallowing glass just to stay pure

if you put my name and your name together you get mayonnaise also please don’t swallow glass

I know next to nothing about botany but the phrase “feral sunflower” is hilarious to me

nsfw = nosfewatu

can you put that thing on a leash?

we're just normal men

Why the heck is this dude trying to confirm if the frog puppet is hetrosexual???

assessing the situation before he shoots his shot

Happy Pride to Kermit the Frog, questioning king

Reminds me of Jason Kander, former Missouri Secretary of State. When he went to the VA hospital to treat his PTSD, he told the nurse that Obama told him he should run for president, and she thought he was delusional.

Correction: It was worse. She asked him how long he's been hearing voices.

I think I'm gonna make this my go-to story. It's not the worst I've ever heard, which is an asset because people won't believe you if you tell them the actual bad stuff those people do. And it just perfectly sums up the casual arrogance everyone working in mental health seems to have. The way they treat you as inherently Lesser for being in their care.

If they can't even handle basic, easily verified shit like "I'm a lawyer" they are never going to believe you when you tell them that you know how to manage a condition you've been dealing with for decades better than they can or will.

this happened in 2023... this wasn't any kind of ignorance or easy middle, they could have looked him up on their phones. holy fuck

Zelda Heritage Post

have i ever shown u people my hand sofa

Do you ever start bullshitting a paper, and then look over it halfway through and think, ’…Wait a minute, I could be onto something here.’

this is the definition of college.

Literally I was writing a paper on Asian salt water crocodiles, like a simple about them paper for a college class, and I started noticing some inconsistencies in the scientific papers I was sourcing and I accidentally discovered that the crocodile has been misdiagnosed as least concerned on the endangered species list when they should be classified as endangered and now my professor is having me write a formal report to the international Red List to have them reclassified and all I wanted to do was write this paper on an animal I thought was cool and now I’m considered an expert on this species…

this is how it works half of esteemed biologists trip and fall into their specialty while pursuing something else. one lecturer i just went to started as a biochemist researching antibiotics and discovered that crocodiles change colors based on environment and now he has 30+ crocs in his yard for research purposes and he’s just like… “wait… i’m a chemist…”

How did so many people end up with crocodiles on accident?????

you just go into science and after a while, crocodile…

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to walk through the body of a God?

@derinthescarletpescatarian