paddlin’
(from Twitter, 21 Oct 2022)
@advosart may I pin this repost so that I can see this absolutely adorable serotonin boost everytime I open tumblr?
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EXPECTATIONS
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#extradirty
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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@fiascodownunder
paddlin’
(from Twitter, 21 Oct 2022)
@advosart may I pin this repost so that I can see this absolutely adorable serotonin boost everytime I open tumblr?

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last line hit like a mack truck
ink: diamine oxblood
I referred to something as a "real Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra moment" in conversation with someone who has never seen TNG, and let me tell you, that was a real Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra moment
i found a perfect diagrami dont knlw who made it but its really important to me so im putting it ony my blog
Hold up you called it what

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Disney is doing crazy things in the japanese mobile game sphere rn
you may be familiar with disney twisted wonderland, the gacha game in which various disney villains are used as direct inspiration for handsome anime boys. well that game was so successful that disney is trying to do it again but this time they're just animeboyifying whatever
here's mickey, goofy, donald, and chip & dale. yeah they turned mickey & friends into anime boys. they're an idol unit or something. they're technically not anime boy versions of the source characters, they have different names. mickey's guy is "Neo Michel". not michael, michel, like he's french. chip & dale are "Ruska Moncrief" and "Ranka Monk", they have different last names, they're not brothers anymore so that they can be yaoibait instead, anyways this post isn't actually about these guys I'm just setting the stage for the actual humanizations I wanted to show you
They also did monsters inc. And. Well it's obvious from the designs who mike and sully are. but you will also notice. the blonde one on the left. with glasses. monsters inc is kind of famously about just the two guys so they didn't really have a lot of other non-villain characters to take anime boys inspiration from, I guess, so, well,
Yeah it's her. they made an anime boy version of the mean receptionist slug. her name is roz btw, as all of boygachagame twitter has become extremely aware of in the past 3 days as we speculated prior to the release of the full image who tf the third guy was. the anime boy's name is "noah slugger". at this point no parody of the types of things gacha games will make gijinkas of will ever be able to live up to what disney is officially spending their own real money on designing
catherine is hopefully going to become the new demi (dropout’s up-and-coming superstar), which works because demi is on his way to becoming the new brennan (in everything yet still can’t win one damn time, sam has him on speed dial), and that also works because brennan is somewhere out there playing ten games of dungeons and dragons at once
i know the death note is supposed to be a cautionary tale but. just give it to me. it would make all of this so much easier
after a few months they would just run out of guys to make president. nobody would wanna do it they'd be like i don't want to get a heart attack no thank you
i know absolute power corrupts absolutely or whatever but i think we can trust tooie with this one its fineeee.
im literally green
grief is cruel
all of the numbers that are divisible by 17 sound so absurd. 51? 68? 85? ridiculous. 102? absolutely not. and don't even get me started on 119
34 and 136 i can believe, but i feel like i shouldn’t. it’s 102 in a trench coat
did we just run out of posts to make
no, i haven't made a post about every number yet
I'm sorry to let you know that 100,000,001 (one hundred million and one) is divisible by 17 and because of that, so is every 16-digit number that is four digits repeated four times e.g. 1234123412341234
Dividing by 17 in-general is insane behavior. This is eldritch math, so of course it’s gunna have wild outcomes. This is truly an info-hazard. I’m gunna see a number in the wild, wonder if 17 is lurking in there, and if I whip out my phone calculator and it’s true I’m going to LOSE IT.

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the fact that Reylo discourse is now almost entirely 'is this ship toxic :)' always throws me off so much because I genuinely think the MUCH bigger issue with Reylo was that it pushed a black man to the side as Not Love Interest Material in favor of a white nazi. Like the issue is that shipping Reylo arrived transparently because people did not care about the black man – which I know, because the ship became popular before we even had The Last Jedi! When they'd barely interacted! If Kylo were black and Finn were white, Reylo would not be popular and it would never have become canon in any way, and I do think a refusal to grapple with that is honestly very embarrassing.
my dead wife. the ad free internet
my writing gland is purple and swollen
my friendship gland is black and shriveled
all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

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"Ok, ma'am that'll be $226.03."
I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.
it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.
i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.
so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”
And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”
I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”
And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware
One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!
The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….
i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”
i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed
gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean
I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.