ludonarratively dissonant

@advosart may I pin this repost so that I can see this absolutely adorable serotonin boost everytime I open tumblr?

you sit down at the plastic table because your partner likes being outside at the bar even though it’s 90 degrees and 60% humidity at 10pm and you thought this corduroy dress was soooo cute but now youre all sweaty and so one of your balls has escaped your panties but youre wearing fishnets so your loose nut is now dying like a sea turtle in a six pack ring and youre the desperate diver trying to save it but blind and one handed and stone faced cause you can’t draw attention to the fact that youre doing a high stakes wildlife rescue on your stupid scrotum in public because it might turn into a six month news cycle and desantis might fly out to personally bulldoze the bar. and its a thursday

The whole monologue, holy shit

pitch for my new tarot card “Do Not Panic”

i mean this in the nicest way possible but some of you need to learn how to be annoyed

Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like “damn i wish we were knights on a dangerous quest”

i think people really under sell the physical side effects of mental health disorders sometimes. like sure the depression and anxiety may be 'just in your head' but when what's in your head happens to disrupts your sleep schedule and prevent you from going outside regularly and eating consistent meals and exercising and generally taking care of your body. well it sure takes its toll huh.

another history making marvel post I never see anyone talk about is “so is nobody helping blade kill all those vampires”

My coffee maker is such a faggot. Every time I use it it whines and moans and groans and pisses all over the place

i think they're called baristas

Schrödinger's Tortoise

We were feeling pretty chuffed about having the #6 trending post on this website until we saw number 7 was a Supernatural mpreg edit

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god