How do we recognize love? Not necessarily how we define it, because I don’t think there’s one definition that fits everyone. But how we recognize it when we think we’re seeing it.
We notice it in the way people interact. The way they look at each other. The way they make space for one another. The little moments that seem so ordinary on their own, but somehow stay with us long after they’ve happened.
We spend so much of our lives listening to what people say, but we’re also constantly paying attention to what they don’t say. A smile, a glance, someone leaning in a little closer, a reassuring touch, or simply noticing when another person seems overwhelmed. None of those moments automatically mean two people are in love. Friends do these things. Family members do them too. But those quiet interactions are still meaningful because they tell us something about the relationship between two people. They communicate comfort, trust, familiarity, and care in ways that words sometimes can’t.
When I think back to Luke and Nicola, the moments that stayed with me were rarely the loud ones. They weren’t the interviews we still talks about or the moments that went viral. They were the little interactions that almost seemed to happen without thinking. A hand resting on an arm. Standing just a little closer. A quick glance across the room. The way they appeared to notice when the other person needed a moment. Whether someone else sees those same interactions as friendship, affection, or something else entirely isn’t really the point. For me, those moments created the impression of two people who shared a deep sense of comfort with one another.
Touch is one of the earliest ways human beings learn to communicate. Long before we understand language, we’re comforted by being held. We feel safe when someone reaches for us. We know what reassurance feels like before we can even explain it. Maybe that’s why, as adults, those small moments still catch our attention. Not because every touch is romantic, but because touch has always been one of the quietest ways people communicate care.
The more I’ve thought about it, the more I wonder if that’s why people disagree so often about the relationship status between Luke and Nicola. Maybe we’re not actually looking for the same things. Some people recognize love through passion and grand romantic gestures. Others recognize it through friendship, quiet support, and the small ways people care for each other when they think no one else is paying attention. The love can be seen as romantic or platonic, just differs on interpretation.
I’ve realized that when people say, “I don’t see it,” I don’t think they’re necessarily looking for the same things I am.
Because I don’t think we’re all carrying the same definition of love.
For me, the moments that stay with me are the quiet ones. The ones that don’t ask to be noticed. The ones that feel instinctive rather than intentional. Those are the moments that make me stop, because they remind me that some of the strongest human connections are communicated without words.
Maybe that’s why Luke and Nicola have stayed with me all this time.
Not because I believe every small gesture has a hidden meaning.
But because they made me start paying attention to the quiet language of love.
And once I started noticing it, I found myself seeing it everywhere.
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