let me be your Cinema

POV Reader

Your eyes are tired as they take in the time on your computer screen. Past 8pm again. You sigh, burying your head in your hands. “Fuck”, you mutter under your breath, cursing the person who kept you at work this late. Again.

It had been like this ever since he started working with you. Jinho had been hired six weeks ago. You started staying late six weeks ago. To clean up after him, to fix his messes, and to get your own shit done on top of that. “He’s got experience”, your boss had said, “he won’t need much training.” Fuck your boss.

With heavy shoulders, you lift your head again, your unfinished work staring back at you. Just a bit more, maybe 45 minutes, and you’ll be free. The thought of coming home to your boyfriend soothes your frazzled nerves. There is nothing better than curling up in Seungmin’s arms after a day like this. To get the full force of Seungmin’s affection - a privilege only very few people possess.

A chuckle escapes you. It’s so silly how this man can make you smile without even being around. You love him so much. He’s the only reason you’re strong enough to endure Jinho’s incompetence, even if you’re unable to share the burden with him. Determined to finish up quickly, you take a deep breath and get back to work.

♡♥︎♡

The door falls shut behind you as you toe off your shoes. “Minnie?”, you shout, encouraged by the soft warm light streaming from the living room. The sound of fabric shifting fills the quiet, followed by the soft tap-tap-tap of socked feet coming closer. “You’re late”, he says, arms crossed where he stands, “again.” “Sorry”, you mumble, “work was a lot.”

You can’t be more specific. He doesn’t know about Jinho and the extra work he puts on your plate every damn day. It’s not that you don’t trust your boyfriend, it’s just…he has so much to deal with already. Video shoots and dance practice and vocal lessons and magazine interviews and recording sessions. It doesn’t seem fair to you to put your work troubles on top of that. Not when you got it handled.

“Was it?” He sounds skeptical. You nod, hanging up your coat with shaking fingers. You haven’t eaten and it’s coming back to bite you in the ass. “Do we still have leftovers from yesterday?”, you ask when you turn to step towards him. Seungmin shifts on his feet. He seems tense, arms still crossed, eyes wary. “Everything okay, babe?”

He huffs. There’s clearly something he’s not saying, but his eyes wander to your shaking hands. “Go sit down”, he mumbles and stomps off into the kitchen. You end up feeling even more strung out than before you came home. This was supposed to be the antidote to the long, exhausting day you’d just had. What the hell is going on?

Seungmin lets you eat before speaking up again. He’s restless though, shuffling around on the couch beside you, watching you take one bite after an other of the meal he threw in the microwave for you. When you set down your bowl on the coffee table, there’s a strange, charged silence between the two of you. It sends an uncomfortable shiver through your bones.

“So”, he begins, “work?” You try to decipher whatever is going on with him, but his face gives you nothing. “What about it?”, you ask instead. “You’ve been staying late a lot.” “I’ve had a lot to do.” He hums. Pondering. Eyes narrowing.

“It’s like you don’t want to come home anymore.”

The accusation punches the air out of your lungs. How the hell did he come to that conclusion? How could he ever think that you don’t want to be in the only place that brings you peace? Be with the only person that gets your mind to slow down?

“What?!” It’s more of a gasp than a question. He shrugs in a what else am I supposed to think kind of way. “You’re never around anymore, you rarely answer your phone throughout the day. It’s like I’m an afterthought. It’s like your don’t want to be around me anymore.”

Your eyes sting as they meet his. “Minnie”, you whisper, reaching out. He pulls his hand back. “What’s going on, baby?”, you try, confusion and hurt pooling in your stomach. “I feel like you don’t want this anymore”, he says. A beat of heavy silence follows.

And then - “like you don’t want me anymore.”

It takes a moment for you to wrap your mind around what he just said. What he’s implying. The horror of it chills you to the bone. “You think I want to break up?”

It hurts. The realization rips through you like a thunderstorm. There’s sadness at first. How lonely must he have felt with your recent absence? How alienated because you didn’t want to bother him with your troubles? How shut out because you tried to protect him from your issues?

But then the rage comes. Because how dare he think so little of your love for him? Doesn’t he know you at all? How dare he come to conclusions before even talking to you? Haven’t you proven to him time and time again that he’s it for you? How in the hells is it this easy for him to think you’d just cast him aside like that?

“Well, it’s kind of obvious”, he says. He sounds so sad, so broken, but you’re consumed by the unfairness of his assumptions. You can’t do this, can’t feel sympathy for this man in front of you. This man that you love. This man who thinks so little of you - who just decided you’d leave him by pulling away instead of having a conversation. That you’d leave I’m at all.

The insult of it grips you by the throat, heart pumping heavy in your chest. You’ve never felt less seen by anyone, never felt less understood. This was supposed to be the man who knew you better than anyone. The man you opened your heart to, who you showed your scars to, who really knew you. You were supposed to be int his together. But somehow, he decided what your intentions were for you. Without your input, without even asking.

You see red.

“Get out.” Your voice is shaking. It’s a miracle you don’t yell. Hot tears roll down your cheeks as you force yourself to stare him down. “What?” He’s the one confused now, eyebrows raised. “This is my place”, you say, “and if you think I don’t want you anymore, you can get out. You know the way.” You don’t wait for him to move, don’t give him chance to argue either. Instead, you get up, take your bowl to the kitchen and disappear to your room without another word.

The pillow is already soaked, muffling your sobs, when you hear the front door close a few minutes later.

♡♥︎♡

POV Seungmin

You’re not answering.

Not to texts. Not to calls. Not to your front door.

Seungmin’s been trying for 5 days, heart breaking a little more with each failed attempt to talk to you, to explain, to apologize. To make it right. Fix what he broke.

But you’re unavailable to him and he know he’s done that to himself. He came home crying that night, letting Felix hug him until he fell asleep - a situation so rare that Felix alerted Chan, who consequently came over the next day to figure out what had happened. But Seungmin didn’t talk, couldn’t spell it out, couldn’t speak the words. He just cried some more, sobbing into his bed sheets as his worried friends tried to comfort him.

Chan managed to get him a few days off, claiming he’s sick - which in a way, he was. Lovesick. Heartbroken. Locked in his room for 3 days before he showed up at your place, waiting all day for you to not let him in.

And now, 5 days after the fight, he just feels lost. Cursing himself for his own insecurities, for jumping to conclusions, for being too scared to talk about his fears like he should’ve done. He’s out of his depth. All he wants is to be back in your arms, to understand why you’d been so distant lately, because his own assumptions were very obviously wrong.

♡♥︎♡

“Lix?” Seungmin’s fingers play with the hem of his sweater as he stands in his roommate’s bedroom door. The blonde looks up from his phone where he sits on the bed, eyes warm and curious. “What’s up?”, he asks with a soft smile. Seungmin takes a deep breath. “I need your help.” Felix’s eyes light up ever so slightly. “What do you need?”

♡♥︎♡

His hands are sweaty and it’s not because of the steaming cup of tea between his palms. Nervous eyes dart to the clock above the counter of the coffee shop. 3:01pm. You’re late by one minute. They won’t show up, the voice in the back of his head tells him. A shaky breath escapes his lips. He tries to shake it off, the doubt, the fear. Felix said you’d come and he believes it. Or tries to.

At 3:02pm the bell above the door rings. Seungmin’s head snaps up so fast it’s almost dizzying. His heart stops. His mind blanks. There you are, pretty as always, looking around the empty shop. Well, almost empty. Felix sits behind the counter, putting the finishing touches on your favorite drink. He is who your eyes settle on. No words are spoken as Felix pushes the drink over, his signature soft smile on his lips, giving you an encouraging nod before he disappears through the “Staff Only” door in the back.

Seungmin’s eyes track your every move, watching you like a starved man. Like just looking at you can satiate him. He notices the way your fingers curl around the mug, the way you take in the sweet scent of your drink. He watches you brace yourself - deep inhale, long exhale - before your eyes finally meet his. His grip around his own mug tightens, the heat of the porcelain grounding him ever so slightly.

You set down your drink before taking a seat opposite him. The cold weather left a soft blush on your cheeks, along with a cute red nose. Pulling off your beanie leaves your hair just a tad messy. In combination with the warm light from he lamp above your table, it softens up your features in the most mesmerizing way. You’ve never been more beautiful to him.

God, how he’s missed you. He envies your mug when you put your lips to it, taking a careful sip.

The air shifts when you put it back down. “Talk.” Your voice is tight, the hurt still present within. It’s very clear that you only showed up because Felix had begged you to and it’s very nearly impossible to say no to his big round boba eyes. Seungmin was never more thankful to have him as a friend.

“I…”, he starts, but the words die on his tongue. A lump sits in his throat, and he can already feel his eyes sting. No, he has to do this. He needs to do this. Deep breath. “I wanted to apologize.” You just stare at him for a beat, taking another sip of your drink. “Well”, you say eventually, “go ahead then.”

He should’ve know you wouldn’t go easy on him. And you shouldn’t, either. His fingers press against his mug, tips whitening. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you before making assumptions”, he says then, forcing a steady voice and only messing up slightly. “I was clearly wrong, and I wish I could take it all back.” Suddenly, a dry sob escapes him without permission. “I’m so sorry, Y/N”.

You take your time to answer, watching the foam on your drink swirl as you move your mug ever so slightly. “How did you even come up with that?” Your voice is so quiet, yet so loud in the empty café. “How could you think I’d do that to you? Leave you like that?” Seungmin can see your eyes redden and it breaks his heart all over again. “Leave you at all?”, you whisper, finally looking up.

He wants to reach out, wants to hold you, reassure you. But he’s not sure he’s allowed to. If you pulled away, he’s not sure he could take it. “You’re so amazing”, he says instead, “so smart and kind and funny. You’re everything. And I’m just…me. And when you pulled away, I thought you’d finally realized it. That I’m not enough for you. That I could never be enough for someone like you.”

Your eyes widen with his words, tears rolling down your pretty pink cheeks. “Oh Minnie”, you say, and the softness of it rips right through Seungmin’s chest, “you’re such an idiot.” “I know.” You chuckle. It’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

But it only lasts a second.

“Didn’t you trust me?” “No, I did. I do. I just…I got so in my head about it all. I talked myself into a spiral and then…I fucked it all up, Y/N, I’m so sorry.” You hum, contemplating, before taking another sip of your drink. He’s glad he chose to rent out the coffee shop. Glad he gave both of you something to do with your hands. With the silence.

When you set your cup down again, he notices a shift in your posture. Back straight, shoulders relaxing. “You really hurt me, Minnie”, you say, “but I’m also sorry for shutting you out. I had a lot on my plate and I didn’t want to burden you with it.” He nods, turning your words over in his mind. Pondering their deeper meaning. “I’m sorry for pulling away”, you add, eyes honest and soft.

A new silence settles between you. This one is a little lighter, almost hopeful. Not quite there yet, though. “I don’t want to lose you”, he admits. You nod, absentmindedly swirling what’s left of your drink in your cup. “Please”, he whispers when you don’t reply. It’s then that he’s finally unable to keep his hand away anymore. He reaches over with one hand, cautiously, still scared you’ll flinch or pull away. His heart is hammering against his rips as his fingers brush yours.

Your eyes snap up at the contact.

“Minnie”, you whisper, not engaging with his touch, but not moving away either. “Let me fix it”, he begs, “please, Y/N.” Fresh tears roll down your cheeks as you consider him. “If I made you feel like your troubles are a burden to me - like you couldn’t talk to me…”, his voice breaks, “please, baby, let me fix it. Let met make it right.”

He can feel his own tears now, unable to stop them. His other hand leaves his mug to reach out to you. “I’ll be better for you”, he whispers, both hands covering yours now, “I can’t lose you, Y/N, please.” You take a deep, very shaky breath. He feels your fingers flex beneath his palms, and for a split second he’s terrified you’ll pull away. But you don’t . Instead -

“Come here.” You move where you sit on the bench, making space. Space for him.

Seungmin has never switched seats this fast in his life. He’s beside you in a heartbeat, hands cupping your perfect face, lips crashing into yours without hesitation. He’s so eager, so hungry for you, so relieved that you let him in again. Let him have this second chance.

He’s resistant when you try to pull away, but gives in eventually. “Minnie”, you say once more, a bit out of breath, “I love you.” “I love you, too”, he breathes, “so much.” “We need to talk more.” He hums in agreement, thumbs brushing over your cheeks. “I promise.” It’s you who initiates the next kiss. It’s much softer, much more gentle. “Me too.”

Just then, the noise of something heavy hitting the floor disrupts the quiet, followed by a loud “Fuck!” from behind the “Staff Only” door. You chuckle as Seungmin lets out a long, faux-irritated sigh. “We better make sure he didn’t die”, you muse. “He’ll be fine”, Seungmin mumbles, lips brushing yours. “Minnie”, you giggle. He huffs, unable to keep the smile off his face. “Fine, let’s check on the kitty.”

Fenya’s Masterlist