don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. unless of course you are summoning the ghost of a legendary swordsman who can deflect bullets with his blade and help exorcise the gunwoman from your river bubble. then it is appropriate

At this point if i found out donald trump had secretly died and was being remotely puppeted by a necromancer in new zealand i would just roll with it. Blow up the earth, eat the solar system, and entomb my soul in some kind of trans-dimensional superstructure at this point i dont caaaarre

Wishing you a relaxed nervous system

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

oh effie my overlooked underanalysed sweetheart

So while doing some pirate research for the play I’m writing I stumbled upon one of the most amazing things I’ve ever read. In the 5th century A.D. there was a Scandinavian princess called Alwilda who’s father tried to set her up to marry Alf, the Prince of Denmark. Alwilda wasn’t cool with this so she and some female companions dressed as men, stole a ship, and sailed away. Eventually they met a company of pirates who were in need of a new captain and they were so captivated by her that they elected her as their new leader. Her crew became so infamous that Prince Alf was sent out to stop them. When their ships met he took Alwilda prisoner and she was so impressed by Alf’s skill that she agreed to marry him after all and eventually became the Queen of Denmark.

I stopped caring whether this was factually accurate about halfway through because it’s completely AWESOME.

Reblogging my old post for this A+ addition to it

Haymitch's whole goal in sotr being to piss off the Capitol and blow shit up

Just realized that the reason I love making friends on tumblr is because it’s exactly how you make friends on the playground as a six year old. No, I don’t know their name but they love mermaids too and built this awesome sand castle. No, I don’t know their age but their imaginary cheetah is friends with mine. You like this show? You like this character?? You can sing the theme song really loud??? Here is a flower crown. Here is a juice box. You can share my time and I might never see you again but part of you stays in my soul forever. In my mind we’re still on the swing set and the sky is blue and nothing will ever be wrong again.

would anyone's imaginary cheetah be friends with mine...

my imaginary cheetah would be friends with yours

Imagine ur Helaena Targaryen and ur just tryna chill and your anime villain brother tells you to lock the fuck in for war