“Wonder if you look both ways When you cross my mind” Tyler The Creator

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@faruhway
“Wonder if you look both ways When you cross my mind” Tyler The Creator

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I used to wear my heart on my sleeve and now all my shirts are sleeveless.
Procrastination
Ahh, the middle name that millions of parents unwillingly give their children when they are born. “Procastination”
“Ooo, I like it. Is it French?”
“Um, I don’t know. I’ll search it later.”
I once wrote a poem about it instead of writing an essay (which by the way check out my Wordpress and Wattpad for more stuff like this!!).
My Friend, Procrastination
Procrastination, my dear friend.
The friend who keeps you from living your life the way you should
The friend holding you back from all the great things you can do
The friend you are unable to get rid of.
But the friend who is always around.
It’s the type of thing that sneaks up on you. One second you’re opening your laptop and cracking your knuckles to really finish that damn essay. Then your professor sends an email saying he extended the due date. And the next thing you know you’re watching a video on how to make lolli pops. (If anyone needs to know how to make lolli pops. I got you).
The worst type of procrastination that I suffer with is the optimistic type. The type where I’m like “whatever needs to get done will be done eventually”. Ahhh the word eventually…. overused in my vocabulary if I do say so myself.
It’s not my fault that procrastination is a thing though! I blame the internet. The second I get exhausted from one math problem I pull out my phone and go onto instagram. The from instagram to twitter to snapchat to Tumblr to Pinterest to omg it’s been at least an hour since I last checked instagram I wonder what happened since the last time I was on. A never ending cycle that only provides me with endless memes. Hey, I’m not the one complaining though.
An example of procrastination that truly gets me is like when it’s Sunday night. Which in my opinion, is the worst day of the week because it’s a never-ending thought day of what’s to come on Monday.
I have a 9 AM class but of course I suddenly turned nocturnal when I started going to college. The entire weekend was filled with me thinking about how I have an essay due on Monday at 11:55 (weird time I know) and how I’ll have to work hard because I procrastinated too much to even think about starting it.
The alarm rings and I groan as I open one eye, a headache formulating before the day even started. Quickly checking my email I see a message from my teacher:
“Sorry class, my car broke down so there is no way I can get to school today. Class cancelled.” Shedding a tear I thanked everything for this momentous moment. About to close the email I scrolled down a little and saw “And to make up for not having class the essay due date has been moved to Friday night.”
“Well… guess I gotta just do it Friday morning then.” I said to myself with a smile on my face as I threw myself back onto the pillow and went back to bed. Yes… I know. “Faruhway! (no that’s not my actual name) you had a whole week to do it, why the hell did you wait so long AGAIN!”
Well hey! “I’m an optimist”~Nicki Minaj Barbie Tingz.
In my head, my best ideas come t life at the last moment when I’m under a lot of pressure. Or that’s what I say to myself to feel better about the horrible decisions I make. And you know what? I wrote that essay at 10:30 and submitted it at 11:45. So jokes on you because I was technically early!
I blame that one episode of Spongebob where he literally takes FOREVER to write an essay and when he looks down it turns out he only wrote the word “The”. Yeah I was exposed to that mindset too young and now I can never go back.
Well, I got finals coming up so you know what that means?
GOTT GO FIND SOME MEMES.
_______________________________________________________________________
No lies at all… this post took me two weeks to finish and I’ll I really had to do was press the publish button.
The Life Of a College Student
“Four of the best years of your life!”
“This is your time to shine!”
“So much freedom!”
Ok, I don’t know who made up this nonsense but I’m definitely sure that they have never been to college. I’m not trashing it in any way, but it most definitely isn’t the best thing in the whole world.
The University that I go to is HUGE. Like, it’s basically the size of a city when you think about it. If I want to go from English to Math, I have to take a 20 minute bus ride with a bunch of people who look like they hate their lives because…. well they just do.
I remember for the second semester I entered this building with my head up high. This was my time to shine. A new semester to really show my true colors and prove that I can really do this shiznip. I was there 30 minutes early so I could make a good impression on the teacher and show that even though it’s a Friday, I will be taking this course seriously. “Okay, just look for room 32” I look up and see the signs to lead me to the room. 100-120 go to the left. 121-135 go straight. 136-150 go to the right. And then a little to the side were a few steps going upstairs. And I just stood there for so long.
Wondering how the heck I get to room 32. After a little bit of exploring I found a very very very tight staircase leading me downstairs. Into a basement. Not scary at all!! (forces out laughter) I finally push through a heavy terrifyingly heavy door to a basement that looks surprisingly remodeled. “Okay, you can do this!” I told myself with a little bit of hesitation. Just wasted 8 minutes but that’s okay.
I start to walk forward with signs just pointing out where the bathrooms are. So if you ever need to find the bathroom, I’m the gal to ask. I finally found a few doors and started to follow them to find the room that I need to get to. Room 12, 13, 14… I guess I was going the right way.
I was met with a dead end ending at 20 so I had to turn around. In my conquest I almost peed myself, finding a random girl leaning against one of the walls (which by the way, I have yet to see this girl again after the multiple weeks that I have been in this building). I used her as a point like when you spot a tree on your way to the park and say “remember that tree to know which way we’re going”. And I continued the journey.
After walking into an office, a janitors office, and another set of only 3 stairs this time I finally reached the 30’s.
30…31…45.
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND MADE THE BUILDING LIKE THIS.
And I thought that I didn’t know how to do math. At this point there was no internet access and I was getting antsy because the class was going to start soon. Then I saw her. My tree! “Excuse me?” I asked the girl multiple times because my voice was hoarse from talking to nobody for so long. She turned around and I smile, which she did not return.
“Hi, sorry to bother you, but do you know where room 32 is?”
“Nope.”
A simple word. Which I never hated so much but in that exact moment. She turned around and continued staring into the void. Yup, if I were to get killed I bet she wouldn’t move a damn muscle.
I was tempted to flip the bird at her in all of my anger issues glory but I took a deep breath and just decided to squint my eyes at her until she felt uncomfortable.
It took me 10 more minutes after that until I found a young looking man leaving a room. “Hey, you look lost. Do you need help”
MY SAVIOR!!
“Yes actually. Do you know where room 32 is?” To which he pointed to the room right behind him. Turns out he was my professor. Entering the room, there was nobody else inside.
Fifteen minutes after the class started a few people started to trickle in. Each saying something along the terms of “wow, this was a hard find.” To which I nodded to each one in silent agreement.
The class finally started and the professor went over the syllabus and finally asked the question. “Does anyone have any questions.” To which I shot my hand up.
“Yeah this is going to sound strange. But I don’t know how to leave.” The whole class giggled, thinking it was a joke. But the truth was that I didn’t want to get home after dark at the rate that I was going.
The professor laughed too until he saw my face was dead serious. “Oh are you serious?”
“Completely.”
“Oh sorry! You go straight then right then right again then straight then you’re out.” And I swear that I looked like a lost puppy.
“Do you want me to show you?” He asked and I nodded vigorously. I walked out of the classroom with him to see a staircase very close to the class. Going up the stairs was the sign that I saw when I came in with the stupid directions that didn’t help at all.
And that! Was probably the fifth time that I got lost trying to find somewhere in this wonderfully large university.
And I have a message to the people who run the introduction days in the summer.
You suck at your jobs.
college
Do you ever zone out so hard and then you realize you zoned out so then you focus so hard on focusing that you realize that you aren’t even focusing. That, my dears, is college.

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Remember.
Remember when my heart used to beat for you ?
Remember when yours would beat for me?
Remember how I used to be scared that you could hear the thumps in my chest?
Or how when I leaned my head against yours, your breath would quicken?
Remember the laughs we shared?
Or the tears you wiped from my face?
Remember the happiness?
Or do you only remember the fights?
Remember the screams.
Remember the tears that you didn’t wipe.
Or the worst of all...
Remember the beating of our hearts and how they didn’t quicken anymore?
Remember how they didn’t beat for each other anymore.
Do you remember?
Sorry... I Guess
I’m sorry in advance
I’m sorry that the rainfall reminds you of our calming nights
I’m sorry that your heart will never beat the same way anymore
I’m sorry that our inside jokes will be lost in the wind
I’m sorry that you can no longer go out to eat at our favorite spots
I’m sorry for all of the unspoken feelings that I kept hidden
If only you apologized
If only you said sorry for al the unspoken feelings
Or said sorry for taking away the fun of our usual spots
Or said sorry for all of the inside jokes I can’t laugh at anymore
Or said sorry for messing up the way my heart beats
Or said sorry for the way that the rainfall reminds me of you.
You didn’t have to apologize in advance
But you didn’t apologize at all.
My Friend, Procrastination
Procrastination, my dear friend.
The friend who keeps you from living your life the way you should
The friend holding you back from all the great things you can do
The friend you are unable to get rid of.
But the friend who is always around.
Naps
You ever take a nap where you wake up and suddenly forget what day of the week it is? Like the other day I woke up from a nap and I think my brother told me he got a raise and I gave him a thumb’s up because I didn’t even know where I was. I don’t even know if he was really even there!!
I, the flower and you, the bee.
I,the flower and you, the bee.
You can travel, but I can’t even flee.
I’m stationary, unmoving
You’re in the air, zooming.
I worry that you won’t return.
But you’d never leave me, you’d rather burn.

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Possibly the best scene EVER
A happier ending
It hurt when you walked in. Not in the way of my heart aching. But in the way of my stomach dropping. My pupils enlarging. My body tensing up. In the way that now I’m paralyzed. I’m paralyzed and my vision is fading. I can’t see anything around me. I think it’s called tunnel vision. Because all I see is you. My body is numb and all I see is you. And all you see are the people around me. My hearing is gone. All I hear are the thumps of my heart beating louder and louder. My vision fades and I’m left with the still image of you. I only see you. I only feel for you. And you? You can only see the people around me. I am truly paralyzed. I cannot react anymore. I cannot run and try to get away from the feelings. I can only deal with them. Until your eyes meet mine once again. And my body melts from the frozen state it was in. And your smile sends shivers down my spine and I regain the feelings in my toes and finger tips. And you walk towards me my legs like jelly, start to wobble beneath me. And all I can focus on is that smile. That body melting, spine shivering smile. And I.... I smile right back.
It hurt when you walked in. Not in the way of my heart aching. But in the way of my stomach dropping. My pupils enlarging. My body tensing up. In the way that now I’m paralyzed. I’m paralyzed and my vision is fading. I can’t see anything around me. I think it’s called tunnel vision. Because all I see is you. My body is numb and all I see is you. And all you see are the people around me.
The Orange Group
In elementary school they had these groups for reading based on the rainbow. Red being the group of readers who needed a lot of help, and purple being the readers who could read chapter books at the age of 7. I, happened to be in the orange group. Not the worst group, but my readings were only like two sentences long. As I grew up I realized how I wasn’t the best at reading, usually blaming it on the fact that I actually needed glasses at a very young age, other times blaming it on the fact that my parents wanted me to study math more. I began to read more and more, Picking the longest books to read for summer assignments, going to book stores and asking people’s opinions, even writing things myself. I improved a great deal and still to this day read for fun. A couple of months ago, as a high school senior I had to take a placement test for the college I was going to to tell me what English class I would be put into. I was ready to ace that thing! Well I fell asleep on the my computer and didn’t have enough time left, and let’s just say I am right back in the orange group.
Dis’ My Blahg
I have this problem when I have a goal, I have a short amount of time to accomplish it. It’s not that I have to finish it within a short amount of time, but my brain just decides that I have a time limit and that’s the final say. I wanted to be a Youtuber, so I made a math youtube channel... I know I know it’s really riveting. I wanted to be twitter famous, and you know what I’m trying... every 140 characters at a time! Now I’m going to make a blog, and gosh darn this will be the greatest blog of all time! Or just funny, I hope it’s funny. :)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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