What.

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

just found the perfect tempo for pacing in my cage

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing

You'd think "oh, well they're rich dipshits with no training who pulled a Stockton Rush, IE: did something everyone told them not to and then died" but nope, 90% of cave diving stories are like "Johnny Wetsuit had 5000 hours diving experience, a doctorate in Cave Diveology from the most prestigious university in the world, was trained to swim by literal navy seals, was part dolphin and had the power of echo-location, God himself contacted him to let him know the conditions in Drowning Idiot Cave were going to be perfectly safe for cave diving, so he went Cave Diving, made one tiny mistake, and then he got stuck and drowned to death."

My brother used to do SCUBA stuff and apparently there's spots in places like Lake Tahoe where there's just bodies that haven't been recovered because the people that could go and get them know better than to go diving in the parts of the lake where the bodies are.

whoever at pixar said "hey let's give diane the shark a customer service-esque voice that would be silly" i owe you a handshake and maybe my firstborn child because something about this specific comedic choice made me laugh harder than i have in recent memory

I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.

!!!!!!

This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID