♚ the sun that never sets

WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE ABOUT LOVE WITH PLENTY OF CITATIONS   by Bob Schofield

(in my experience, bc this was the first thing i wrote after waking up from surgery a couple hours ago)

since you can’t eat beforehand, I went in pretty grumpy-hungry but believe me, nervousness takes care of that QUICK and i completely forgot

if you have good staff, they notice when you‘re nervous & chat calmly without overwhelming you

anesthesiologists and other staff members repeatedly ask what surgery you are getting done to make sure you were properly informed and to avoid mixups; made me nervous (bc why did no one know what surgery they were doing with me??) until my anesthesiologist explained that they just have to hear me say the words

during prep, different people will be doing different things and giving instructions on what to do (make a fist, put your arm there, etc.), sometimes overlapping (adhd hell)

the face mask was placed over my mouth and nose with just normal breathing air for like 3 minutes while they were still prepping (i assume to get me used to the sensation?)

once the drugs started coming, my very very first instinct was „oh, i‘m gonna throw up“

i didn‘t throw up but then everything went hazy and blurred, kinda like being REALLY tired-drunk

one of the anesthesiologists was standing behind me and caressing my face while talking to me and promising to take care of me when she noticed i was getting freaked out; the other one was administering the drugs

on being seen and known and understood

on survival

I LIKE it

someone else might LIKE it

it is FUN to do

I get those THOUGHTS out of my head

it's fun to look BACK on

have I mentioned it's FUN?

it's CATHARTIC

it's nice to see what I CAN DO

sources: l.e.s. by donald glover // this year by the mountain goats // maya hornbacher, madness // watchisjawdrop on tumblr // wuntrum on tumblr // kim kardashian // unknown // godblessryankent on tiktok // nayyirah waheed // unknown // lev st. valentine

on nostalgia

on laughter