falling feathers

I am so much happier when I sleep. I hate Mondays.

In other news, my holiday savings are coming along nice. 

20/365

i'm wavering. forgetting to post here sometimes. it gets late. technically its monday now because it's after midnight.

i finished binding my book. it has pages now. and a name. it has things inside of it. things that inspire me, things that make me happy as fuck and some drawings i do. i still have loads of ideas for it. 

i'm thinking of selling a few blank ones. like cover them over with cute fabric, make them tidy. make a bit of money, y'know?

i've been thinking about how much i dont want to be 19 in march. i gave myself a headache.

19/365

Saturday. Last night I started to make a book. Properly from scratch. I dismantled a used notebook, pulled the pages out. I took the hard cover, rebound it in fabric and tidied the inside up. Today my parents gave me the old computer so for most of today I've been clearing that out and organising pages for my new journal. It's an inspiring one. So it'll be something to fill up with quotes and things and then to keep. Something to look at if I feel a little sad or something. A pick me up I guess.

18/365

A concoction of things happened today but I don't really feel like writing about them.  I need to correct my media piece for English and maybe it'll get the A/A* the tutor said it was worthy of.  

At this moment in time, I don't presently give a flying fuck. 

I guess English was fun today. Both lit and lang. Photography I just sat on the floor all lesson. 

You can probably tell I am in an incredibly foul mood today. 

Please stop being nice to me. I know what you've fucking said. If you carry on being two faced I will break and tell you exactly what I think of you.

17/365

I like Thursdays. I don't do much.  I went to Meadowhall and got Emily a card and a little something for her birthday which I will post at the end of the month.

Taking a break from my main blog. I am bored of it I guess. Some people just get on my last nerve.

I'm not tired for once. I had a gr8 sleep last night.

Currently going through specific twitters to find some A* quotes for my wall. For some reason the one above made me laugh too much.

Maybe it's been a s l o w day.

16/365

today's been great really. finished my photog essay finished up my media piece and did my homework for next lesson.

definition of nerd. 

i am pretty sick of two faced people but i can act like nothing was said because i find a weird pleasure in knowing that you've said that and you have no idea.  all about keeping your enemies close, y'know?

15/365

i woke up in a weirdly happy mood after being in a shit one all night. although i'm still kinda sad i guess. i must say this in every post but i am so so so tired. at least i finish early tomorrow. 

and as for you? way to go and bust my trust for you. you fucking idiot. i could be completely childish and do the same to you but i wont. i really dont fucking care anymore. you can sit there and look miserable as fuck. there's no way i am speaking to you after that.

in other news my ptv shirt came. and my cd and my ring.  doesnt change the fact i feel sad as fuck though.

14/365

I wouldve thought by a week I'd have abandoned all hope of keeping one of these.  today was super boring. as ever. mondays always are, i only have an hour of college.  had a pretty good phone call with emily though.

my dad dislocated my shoulder earlier by accident and then proceeded to try to put it back. i've never been in so much pain before.

----

my life is the same old same old everyday. i wish something would change.  and yeah, i know. i could change something myself, i just dont know what. 

i am in a pretty shit mood right now. no surprises i dont know what to do about it.

13/365

All I've done today is watched the first series of primeval. my dads all in my face like 'why dont you go out' and its just, i dont wanna go out. i am perfectly happy doing what i've been doing for the majority of the day thanks.

i finished my room up and my canvas got hung up so i am happy about that.

i was looking at my tattoo yesterday, i think i might have to have it touched up when i get my next one. some of the lines have thinned right out, it looks a bit weird i guess.

12/365 

So bored today.  I rearranged some of my room and redid all my posters. My dad said he'd put my canvas of NY up tomorrow so I can create a quiet corner for revision. 

Gonna watch a film later, maybe get some more sleep.

I should read more, I know I should, but I can't pull myself away from the laptop.  Kind of a shame really.

Gonna go finish up my room and listen to This Century. A*.

11/365

This is a photo from yesterday. Clearly in a two hour photography lesson I don't do anything. The paper curled that way which freaked me out so I spelt my name out. 

Today I have headache and I just feel like shit. I did a fair bit of work today in my free and then came home and cleaned my room so I can have a free weekend. 

I don't think I want to go out Monday anymore. I don't want another tired week.

Love is Hell (by darling.nicotine)

10/365

So i had a bunch of fun today ripping up pieces of paper for my photography then scanning them to layer up with my other bits and pieces. All my final work is inspired by Ryan Adams. His lyric books and his poetry. Tomorrow I may scan in some TSS stuff, maybe some Brighten, and try to layer those up quick with some of this ripped stuff.

I had a wobbler in photography because none of my work would print so I had to go see the technicians. I love the techies so much omg. One of them was like ...yeah it doenst work anymore so you can't really print it like that. We havent solved that problem yet. and i was just there like WELL FIX IT NOW THEN YOU'RE DOING NOTHING and they both started laughing. you can joke with them like that I guess. they're pretty chill. although if it was anyone else i would be in so much trouble and CI'd.  

I threw a tantrum because I won't get my EMA for this week  because I had Friday off because it SNOWED and the woman in student services was like LOL GET A BUS.  Lady, it's snowing. If I did get a bus I would've been late and not got it anyway. So my mum rang up and she told my mum I couldve walked it.  Without snow, it's a 45 minute walk. And it's all up hill. I'd like to see you walk it.

In other news, college is really fucking me off. People are paying more attention to me and I fucking hate it.  

Bad day is bad.

9/365

I guess today was ok. I guess a lot of things. For some reason I was super tired all day, which I thought never happened anymore. Maybe my sleeps catching up with me.

Me and bacon wasted our language lesson by being fascinated with animie and marvel. Ok the marvel comic was about zombies. I like zombies. 

If you wanna be an idiot and miss college to avoid me, then be my guest. It's your life you're screwing. 

I genuinely don't give a fuck for so much shit anymore. I am done. 

And if you ever speak to me again, or bring any of that shit up again, it wont be Tyler that sits on you, I'll hire a fucking elephant. You know I hate you so why do you speak to me? Fuck off.

Christ, everyone just needs to fuck off. Except from the people I like. They know who they are.

8/365

I am so fucking done with this bullshit. You can carry on thinking I'm pissed off with you for that. Maybe one of your two faces will grow brains to ask.  One of my friends~ is starting to look like Justin Godsey again. mindfuck. 

I was super late for college this morning because the bus decided to be 40 minutes late. My teacher was forgiving though I guess, she didn't give me a late mark. As with every Tuesday, English Language is the highlight of the day. It feels so much later in the week than it actually is. Still, I finish at half 12 tomorrow and Thursday so I can't complain.

things change, people don't. people don't.

p.s i am more than highly amused that its 11.1.11. p.p.s the lyrics in the photo is something i am gonna live by. it's just another chapter when we fight isnt it. it always will be. only this time, it's the last chapter.

7/365

Fuck I hate technology so much. I did a really great essay before Christmas and saved it to my memory stick. Took it to college to print off and now the files corrupt and I have to rewrite a new transformational piece. 

Thanks technology. 

My tutor was all 'lol well you can read a book then' so I stared reading my Frankie Boyle book and he was all WELL I DONT THINK THATS APPROPRIATE.  ...you said read a book .____. 

In other news, a load of post was waiting for me this morning. I was pretty happy.

6/365

Sunday. Me and my dad have fallen out big time. I don't really want to be in the house anymore. I need you to understand it's my life and what I want to do and that while you're my parents, I don't care what you want me to do.  I know what I'm doing ok?  I'm living for me, not anyone else. Let me do it my way. If I fuck up, then I fuck up. It's called learning. 

In other news, I hope my mum goes to the post office tomorrow. I really want to blast III/IV. I am overly tempted to buy Ursa Major. 

5/365.

because it's saturday and i know I won't be doing anything of interest today i am going to list my hopes for the year. and as long as i keep my hopes in my head, they'll keep me happy. things are going to change this year. so here we go.

Visit Emily in February.

Emily visits me in March.

Celebrate my 19th.

See Jess at some point in the year. (hopefully if tss come over here and if they dont, try visit her anyway.)

Meet tss (if tss come over here)

Get my two tattoos. (A feather on my left arm and darling, be human on my shoulder)

Try to go to a few gigs providing I have cash, means of travel and someone to go with.

Study for my A Levels.

Do well in my English investigation.

Pass my photography exam. (12 hour exam yay)

Leave college for good.

Go home for two weeks, taking Emily with me.

Come home get my head together and start applying for magazines and newspapers.

Have a steady job before the years out.