Just Know My Heart is Breaking Too, Part 31
It isnât until the entire team arrive for dinner, that Kensi realizes just how small her apartment is. Although sheâs had more of a social life than Deeks, she hasnât been entertaining.
The entire team had encouraged her to take a chance with Deeks, but that was so much different than leaving. Now that the moment is here, nerves have kicked in. Sheâs completely certain of her decision to leave, but that doesnât mean itâs going to be easy.
So here she is watching the team talk and laugh from the kitchen while what-ifs paralyze her.
âThinking of making a break for it?â Deeks says unexpectedly from behind her, making her jump slightly.
âI thought you were checking the pizza.â
âItâs out. And youâre avoiding the question.â Deeks makes the observation lightly, but with obvious compassion.
âNo, I havenât changed my mind,â she promises. âIâm just realizing that making such a big announcement is easier in theory.â With a sigh, Kensi leans against Deeksâ chest, appreciating the stability and comfort. âHow did you do it?â She twists her head in time to see Deeks lift an eyebrow.
âIf you recall, I wasnât exactly doing too well emotionally at that time. Resigning didnât seem like that big a deal in the grand scheme of things,â he replies sardonically.
âRight.â Kensi winces. âStupid question. I just donât want to disappoint anyone.â
âKens, they love you and theyâre gonna support you no matter what.â Deeks kisses her cheek and wraps and arm around her shoulder, hugging her against his chest for a second.
âYouâre right. Thank you for always knowing how to talk me down,â she says, squeezing his arm before she lets go and walks back into her small living room.
âOh good, we were just getting ready to stage an intervention if you didnât come out soon,â Callen jokes.
âIs everything ok?â Eric checks.
âWeâre fabulous,â Deeks answers. âWe were neither fighting nor engaged in any unmentionable activities.â
âThank goodness for that,â Sam mutters as Callen chuckles.
Kensi looks around the room, at all these people who have supported her, loved her, and put up with her in her worst moments. Eric and Nell share a couch with Jared squeezed in at the end.
Jared has handled keeping her secret surprisingly well. Unlike Kensi, he seems completely calm and hasnât given any sign that he knows anything. Heâs come a long way and she feels proud at the realization. Heâs going to be ok without her. They all will.
âActually, there is another reason why we invited all of you here tonight besides celebrating us getting back together,â Kensi begins, sharing a nervous look with Deeks. He nods encouragingly and she wishes this didnât feel so much like a high school presentation. âEven though Iâve spent hours thinking about it, I donât really know how to say this.â
âCan I say something first?â Sam asks, standing up from his spot on the couch.
âSure.â Kensi nods uncertainly, but lets Sam move to the center of the room.
âI remember when you were just a rookie agent who was so determined to make a difference and prove yourself. Iâd say you more than met your own expectation because you are one hell of an agent, Kensi.â He gave Kensi a half-smirk as he paused. âAnd youâre going to be amazing at whatever you do next. Whether itâs with NCIS or somewhere else.â
âHow did youâ?â Kensi asks, looking first to Deeks and then Jared, but they look equally surprised.
Sam rolls his eyes. âYouâve been on edge all night. I couldnât take you biting at your nails anymore.â
âWe also kind of made bets as soon as Deeks came back on board,â Callen reveals shamelessly. âFigured it wouldnât be too long until you started thinking about the future beyond NCIS.â
âThereâs also the fact you actually took your full medical leave for a change,â Sam adds.
So, you are leaving?â Eric confirms. Heâs been unusually quiet all evening and now she knows why.
âThree months,â Kensi says. âI promise I wasnât hiding this from you guys. I just had to make sure everything was in order before I shared the news.â
âYou donât need to apologize,â Nell tells her, coming over to hug Kensi tightly. âIâm gonna miss you so much, Lady. But Iâm also happy for you.â Nell laughs wetly, then reaches for Deeks, hugging him just as fiercely. âAnd you too. You have no idea how hard Iâve worked for this.â
âOh, we know,â Deeks assures her. âThank you for all your meddling and pushing. I donât know if we would have figured it out without you.â
âDefinitely not,â Callen teases. âYou two idiots were prepared to be miserable for the rest of her lives.â
Kensi wraps her arms around Deeksâ waist, answering questions, if she can, about her plans and accepting more hugs. Happiness and contentment fill her as her family surrounds her.