Secretly a spider

I weep bcause I think I hardly ever read anything funnier

there’s this church sign i pass every day that says “hurt people hurt people” and i know it’s supposed to mean like “people who are hurt, hurt people” but it sounds like a command

“please, daddy, i want some more”

not only do i want this post deleted, but i want the entire channel of NBC deleted right this minute

im everyone who selected a patch of ocean hundreds of miles from the nearest coastline

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

Thanks I hate it

Customer service but you use your dirty talk voice

You’re a nasty little bitch aren’t you? Trying to return these shoes after 30 days.

okay but she is just literally flying. She doesn’t obey the laws of physics. She is her own law. Biles Law. Coolest woman ever.

hey guys i have taken over the official swedish twitter account @sweden for the week which means i am now legally the king and also prime minister of sweden (go there and interact with my tweets please i am begging you)

This oxygen mask is bullshit I look nothing like oxygen

“I have a dexterity of bad” is my favorite

im imagining a character that everytime they shape change, there is a chance that they revert to a different playable race from their born one EACH time and have to adjust their stats and abilities accordingly

it is absolutely insane that this is cgi

I love these kinds of videos because they’re super impressive but also the dumbest things and always make me laugh my ass off

“Hey Mrs. Weiner, what’s another name for two weeks?”