The person who would understand my fears takes it personally and got upset with me last time I expressed them so I have to censor myself, and the other person I can usually talk to is angry with me because I wouldn't let her be cruel to me, herself, or my friends, and me calling that out sent her spiraling and now I have to be the one to pick up that mess AS IM DEALING WITH ALL OF THIS, and even my fucking therapist didn't seem to think it was even a real problem and almost laughed at it!!!!

I have nowhere else to turn and express the fear and grief that comes with my brain literally degrading and I just have to sit here and suffer in silence so I can help resolve everyone else's problems and y'know maybe someday someone will ask if I'm okay and really mean it, right?? Right????? Maybe they'll even mean it when they ask and won't just use me as a distraction from their own lives.

Who the fuck am I kidding though the moment I lose the capacity to push aside my own issues to help them over myself (which is happening rapidly) they'll be done with me, cuz no one actually wants the tranny they want the stupid fucking service dog that never has its own feelings, they want the thing that will always put them first because it knows what happens when it has any opinion on its own life.

The tranny is no longer sitting down and taking it and as such is having the attendance of all its friends to its birthday party threatened!

edit: people are reblogging without the addition so im putting the extra versions in the base post too

TOUCH and FEEL

me: #MyDog. sorry, continue

my friend: you're always so rude maddie. god. anyways as i was saying, this is my dog, weve been together for 2 years now, its been a great time

other friend: howd you two meet? youre cute together

my friend: well, i went to a bar and we hit it off then and there, took her home and, she's been my puppy-

me: #MyPuppy. Keep going sorry.

my fri- owner: you're not getting any treats tonight. you're going in the kennel

me: [whiiiiine] so you want me to kill myself? #MySelf?

my owner: no maddie i want you to behave

me: yes ma'am....

other friend: god shes well trained isnt she? i swear if my partner-

me: #MyPartne- ACKKFKSKFMDF [gets shocked repeatedly by my collar]

other friend: so thats how you do it huh

#MyOwner: yeah shes my bitch. HASHTAG MY BITCH.