Im Being Eaten By Flatworms

Can’t get this on any other social media

all in all I take a complete disarmament and non-proliferation stance on boyfriends. Do not use them. Do not create them. Dismantle the ones you have and repurpose their material for peaceful civilian use. This is the only way the world can know peace

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

62 8

Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose

no i’m afraid it’s even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.

oh u need an accessory to go with that sexy dress? might i suggest a random bruise on ur leg

the utter ecstasy of “is that lavENDER?” is what sells it for me

a level of appreciation for charcuterie the likes of which has never been seen before