pjsk addict

Hatsune Miku: hits u with her faking vehicel (might feel bad about it. sometimes.)

Kagamine Rin: gets too anxious to drive. when given a good playlist to ease her worries (whether classic Rin Depression TM or silly), pretty damn good driver and fun to carpool with. karaokes safely

Kagamine Len: doesn't hit u with his faking vehicel, hits things with his faking vehicel. runs every red light. all in the car with him driving are screaming in fear of their own lives constantly. banned by friends, probably also banned by police

Megurine Luka: good driver, has mom van, fully equipped for every occasion

Meiko: drives unsafely, but it's fun and not terrifying. everyone has a great time (wheeeeee). may or may not have had one car chase without the children in the car, but got away.

The Game Grumps "now it is WE the brothers three" bit, but the brothers are time travelling Dave, Spades Slick/Jack Noir is Arin, and Clubs Deuce/Courtyard Droll is Dan.

If only I could animate :( The clip, for reference:

this man absolutely had unsupervised internet access as a child and that was the closest thing he ever had to parenting.

as a result, he ran the gauntlet at far too young an age (no, not the cringe gauntlet, unfortunately, though he did run that with john shortly after). he was incredibly traumatised, though viewed it all, for some reason, but refuses to admit the trauma and claims it wasn't that bad (very obvious lie). only begins to hint at the trauma aspect after Jade asks what it is (innocently, with genuinely no knowledge of it, only having heard the name). he still brags about his running the gauntlet. why.

Damara: banned from the aux due to sharing an absolutely horrific (read: freaky) playlist with Equius. The only difference is that she blasts it every time she drives. The music is good, but jegus christ Damara how do you keep finding this shit. Also probably killed someone with her car once (on purpose? who knows), but got freaky with the cops, worked her way up to the sheriff, and is now owed many, many favours from essentially all of law enforcement, making her (and anyone she may be with) effectively immune from vehicular manslaughter/murder charges

Rufioh: Got nervous once and crashed his car into a sign. has given up on driving due to anxiety. every time he tries, another sign dies. his car is constantly totalled, though somehow still functional. (From Banana: "Dr. Gerald core") Mituna definitely does not have a collection of all the signs he's destroyed. the police may or may not be after him for this, but they currently have bigger problems (Damara)

Mituna: drove his car into a lake once with everyone inside. whenever he tries to drive, everyone collectively duct-tapes him to a wall, considering his tendency to break everything including himself, with no regard for safety. every time he's in a car---doesn't need to be driving---either it gets totalled or it blows up or something similar. banned from all vehicles now. keeps ending up in the ER with "i lived bitch"-esque texts almost constantly in the group chat. gog damnit Mituna.

Kankri: would refuse to step FOOT in an independently owned vehicle due to morality issues (not everyone can afford a car, bad for the environment, etc.) will only use public transportation, and would always be late, if he didn't leave for everything a minimum of three hours early, as being late is rude. were he to drive, Gamzee and Meenah would team up in putting violent (and offensive to law enforcement) anti-cop bumper stickers all over his car without him noticing. despite following all road safety rules to the letter, he would keep getting pulled over for this. minor infractions have added up to a near ban on his driving, legally. also banned from everyone else's cars, as even in emergencies, he will NOT shut up about people's unsafe driving, offensive music choices, the morality issues previously mentioned, etc. may or may not try to pull the racism card when being pulled over despite a human version definitely being white as fuck. it's not racism. if he's a troll, sure, maybe, but that still isn't the main issue here man.

Meulin: has done so much minor damage to cars (violently hitting curbs, directly going over potholes, etc) that her car looks borderline unusable. she can only drive as a last resort.

Porrim: genuinely has placed ACAB and similar bumper stickers on her car. would be getting her pulled over constantly, if she pulled over. instead, all interactions end with a high-speed car chase, which she always wins. the cops are after her ass, but she will never get caught. law enforcement is slowly accepting that there really is nothing they can do. also speeds incessantly, though has never caused major car/person damage.

Latula: regularly runs red lights and hits trees. no one's gotten hurt from it, but there have been many, many close calls. needless to say, she's been long since banned from driving anyone but herself (should be total driving ban, but everyone's given up on controlling her at this point). also borderline impossible speeding.

Aranea: also follows road safety laws, but actually pays attention and can drive. takes care of her eco-friendly-ish mom van, takes it to get checked when recommended, no issues. Meenah may have stolen it and gotten it struck by lightning once, but there was, some-fucking-how, no damage to the car or fish. plays generally liked music, no issues. overall designated driver, everyone's just accepted that they're going to get story timed should she drive them. adapts to driving different cars relatively quickly.

Horuss: no issues with driving, other than the occasional questionable playlist (which, be honest, everyone has). for some reason, despite doing literally nothing wrong, his car frequently decides to just catch fucking fire for some indiscernible reason. he takes perfect care of his vehicles, fixes them every time, but they're just always inherently suicidal, apparently. It Keeps Happening. has resorted to only riding motorcycles to localise damage to himself as much as possible.

Kurloz: pre-Meulin deafening, broke every law constantly. very dangerous driver, just kept getting lucky with not getting injured/crashing. post-Meulin deafening, became a surprisingly good and safe driver. also now has a mom van for safety reasons---he does not want to risk his friends getting hurt because of him again

Cronus: got pulled over for speeding, tried to flirt with the cops, failed, and got arrested. his friends could pay his bail, though they refused, simply laughing their asses off at his stupidity and misfortune. he was in a holding cell for three days before Rufioh felt bad and went to pick him up, despite having No Fucking Money, making Meenah pay bail so the break-out was legal. legally cannot drive, and banned from driving anyway due to combination of genuinely atrocious playlists (freaky, but also objectively bad music), and unsafe driving. oh, and no one wanting to be near him, alone or otherwise, especially in close proximity.

John: only really made a few mistakes, but has been banned from driving as an extension of losing aux privileges (driver picks music? don't drive), seriously John stop playing movie soundtracks istg

Dave: safely unsafe (speeding but never getting caught, going through yellow lights but not red, etc). always has something illegal about driving---license suspended/not present, tags out of date, no insurance, etc. everyone has tried to revoke his aux privileges. this has not worked. they have all given up.

Rose: can drive, road rage only internal, actually good music taste. doesn't enjoy driving people around constantly, would rather be alone, but sentenced to misery via process of elimination

Jade: can't legally drive (narcolepsy, if it exists), but would be a great driver if she theoretically could (has been driving in parking lots, good at it, just dangerous in case of maybe narcolepsy)

Jake: immediate reaction would be something along the lines of "what's this newfangled contraption" (cars readily exist, he's just Like That), would drive safely, but still somehow manage to crash the car into a lake AND have it explode---car and/or rnjegus has a mind of its own

Dirk: causes at least 12 casualties upon each driving attempt, but still drives illegally anyway (no license, no registration, car probably homemade and breaks every guideline, no license plate, etc). police would be on his ass like he's 5 stars in GTA (if modern/normal AU)

Roxy: "well? ...DUI" -Banana (again, will link her Tumblr upon her getting one!!). should they not be drunk, they'd be great, good music taste, technically legal speeding, etc. would be designated driver of alpha kids if it weren't for the near constant DUIs. once managed to get their car stuck on a small concrete separator perfectly the size of the underbelly of their car in such a way that their tires couldn't touch the ground, rendering them actually stuck, banned because of that also. has destroyed many a road sign (even on sidewalk), hits curbs, though they and friends have never been injured, and car is surprisingly still functional and not damaged past a few minor scratches.

Aradia (doomed): not trusted to drive due to the possibility of killing them all via intrusive thought

Aradia (undoomed): not trusted to drive, but because she's really out of practice, but that's the only reason she's a bad driver. she will never reattain the skill (friends just drive her out of habit and she likes travelling with people better than the freedom of driving).

Tavros: the only one that can drive (with robo-legs. if in wheelchair, designated navigator stuck having panic attacks as everyone else almost crashes every ~30 sec)

Sollux: keeps hitting curbs and doing extensive property damage. banned both by his friends and the police. never got a license or permit and never will

Karkat: has almost killed them all via road rage during a road trip along with all passengers in offending car (innocent family, didn't really do anything wrong). somehow not caught by the police (never identified), banned from friends to avoid getting banned by police

Nepeta: sees a cool bird/etc, gets distracted, hits a pole, goes ":33 oh noes!" and drives off, uncaught, though the footage is on some security camera, probably

Kanaya: can actually drive. has a mom van that everyone keeps fucking up but her, but still functions perfectly after many years (old as fuck)

Terezi: could drive if she could see, but can't. still tried once, but almost got them all arrested due to extensive property damage. had her friends plead insanity for her in court.

Vriska: would kill all her friends, as always. the most fucking banned, but it's not like anyone could stop her if she really wanted to drive. would only steal others' cars. could get one herself, just thinks grand theft auto towards friends is funny

Equius: speeds constantly, got caught once, started being a freak upon police talking to him (being told what to do), hesitantly let go by police (likely from slight fear of freakiness), banned from driving by friends in fear of a similar incident, actually listens to his friends

Gamzee: "either too high, or too evil" -Banana (will link her tumblr when she gets one ^^)

Eridan: once hit a school bus full of kids. keeps insisting that all the children were fine (they were), it was only the one time (so far), as everyone else looks at him suspiciously and judgementally. talked his way out of getting legally banned, but banned by friends due to being the closest to committing actual vehicular murder/manslaughter. has been tackled to the ground to prevent the driving before.