part time soulmate, full time problem

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

[Image ID: Text reading: In fact, the typical UK adult is currently harbouring six grudges, according to a poll published in early 2022. /End ID]

Does anyone know what to do

”what’s got you so happy” because 🩷 friends 🥺☺️on interner 😍☺️⭐️

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

i love being sober and talking to drunk people at parties cause i asked a guy “if you were a wizard what kind of spells would you cast” and i know he wasnt lying when he said “summon creatures”

that is the most beautiful airfryer i have ever seen

found it! bruno smart air fryer in mint green BZK-KZ02TW-GR

Theirs a horse in the pingles

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

tumblr should add a "what the fuck are you talking about" button alongside reply, like, and reblog. you click the what the fuck are you talking about button when op is on some discourse they brought back from another reality that no one on this earth has ever heard of. and if a post gets more what the fuck are you talking abouts than reblogs op gets muted for 12 hours

Being a flop changed my life. The world is not my oyster, I am glowing. I walked into a pole this morning. There's very little I wouldn't do for $1,000