ok think about how little kids have no chill, and are huge assholes at random. now imagine being smooshed together with an equally unchill asshole 24/7. imagine that when you go to your local authority figures all “MOM MATTIE WON’T GIVE MY STARSCREAM BACK” the god of your world doesn’t even look up from her book as she says, in an exhausted tone, “you’re older. help him behave.”
now imagine that when you go back to your room, and find that the city you spent all day building for your decepticons to smash is in complete disarray. the other unchill asshole, who is exactly like you but smaller and worse, like a twilight zone reflection of all your faults, still has your starscream and has also now taken your megatron and is making a “just try me fucker” face about it.
you reach for the megatron.
he opens his enormous noise hole and shrieks like a pterodactyl.
and you hear the ominous sound of the divine authority slamming a paperback closed on the kitchen table. it is you who will be blamed for this, cain. you were supposed to help abel behave. god can’t get five minutes to drink a cup of tea and it is going to be your fault.
i love my brother more than life itself but you’re damn right i hit him upside the head with optimus prime.
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