gay ghost robot

"if you take testosterone youll look like your DAD!! DO YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD?!! YOULL LOOK LIKE A GROSS UGLY MAN YOULL LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD!" nope! adopted💖

shoutout to the guys saying "my dad is awesome itll be cool if i look like him" but especially shoutout to the guys saying "i will/do look like my dad on t and i am making him suffer for it. he is evil and he HATES that i look like him. im like him but better" yall have a powerful aura

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

I think we should have a second pride month in November for gay people who prefer cold weather

"It's a time when LGBT people can be their authentic selves!" Uh, my authentic self wears an overcoat.

I think it’s funny how Mormon God was like “look polygamy is super important and I am telling you my followers to practice it even in the face of persecution” and then 40 years later Congress said Utah wouldn’t be given statehood as long as the LDS practiced polygamy and Mormon God was like “Ok tell everyone I changed my mind”

I just really like the idea that Mormon God like, basically caved into pressure from the federal government

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

I would immediately suspect you to be the whimsical assassin who killed them

anytime i talk to people i feel like i need to be shot.