the word shaker's tree

reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world

[louder than everyone] MAN I THINK IT DEPENDS!

they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

i hate when apps know that i’m screenshotting something. when i screenshot something, that’s me acting outside your realm of understanding, app. i am beyond what you consider the observable universe. you’re not supposed to perceive me. we don’t know when god screenshots the earth. we don’t know when he’s like, “okay i’m just gonna take a pic in case i ever want to add dinosaurs back to something later and don’t remember how.” and if we did, we wouldn’t act all smug about it like, “hey, you wanna share that post? you could just click here to share it.” no, man. you didn’t catch me. i screenshotted this for my own reasons. what’s next? i can’t take a photo of my computer screen with my phone out of laziness without being shamed by the printer i don’t own?

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

#really cannot emphasize enough how much iguanamouth changed the site’s sense of humor and therefore the timeline of the western world