your favourite court jester

you may have fucked my wife. however you failed to notice me sitting in the cuck chair and giving a suspenseful 👎 when you fail to please her. you also failed to notice my wife's giant battleaxe

IT’S SPRINGTIME YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. PASS THE INSTRUCTIONS ON NOT GIVING UP BY ADA LIMÓN

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

late-stage capitalism is increasingly about the rich carving out spaces where they can party and have photoshoots in beautiful international locations without having to be concerned about the locality or humanity of the places they inhabit. every historic city becomes a stage for their little plays about cultural intrigue without the friction of culture or the locals themselves

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

Mesopotamian girl sending clay tablets to her best friend who lives five city states to the west: what if..... Enkidu begot Gilgamesh with child?🤭

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

*takes a bite of my cigarette*...... heh. the character...... *walks into a small puddle but it swallows me up like the ocean* *i am found dead years later in maine*

*Traces my hand along the surface of a grassy park lawn that was clearly wetland many years ago due to how it floods with water every year* Who did this to you….

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.