you big gay! video games

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

god calls me on the payphone, tells me there aren't enough magnolia trees in the garden. asks me a question. i spend my whole life answering it.

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

if a hamburger and a cheeseburger have a baby it most likely will have cheese on it because the cheese trait come from a dominant gene

PLANE BLOOD PLANE BLOOD PLANE BLOOD 

Found my fursona

It is the great tragedy of this world that you can go see the new Mad Max movie, but when you leave the theater you still have to drive home at speed limit in your unmodded Honda civic. and use your turn signals

Hey guys saw the furiosa movie and im changed

ill spend my twenties investigating the healing properties of salt i dont know about you guys

excuse me

Sorry op. That's my friend the Salt Vampire from the Star Trek episode "The Man Trap" which first aired in 1966. Blessings be upon you.

its just i dont feel blessed by its presence is all. sending love your way