the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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@euroqueer
the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us

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sorry i barked when i saw your happy trail do you still want me
María Casares, from a letter to Albert Camus, featured in Correspondance, 1944-1959
north carolina being a southern state doesn't make any sense, it's got north in the name the americas are so fucking stupid
when i become president of the world by force i will rename north carolina to south carolina so that its name reflects its status as a southern state
[visibly shaken and paler after an aide whispered into my ear but trying to retain my presidential of the world composure] and south carolina will be renamed southern carolina
How they get barack obamma and joe bidden to say this stuff toigether

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"Good butter served at room temperature / Maldon sea salt in a small dish / Tough, tattoo-ed, secretly-sweet butchers that nod knowingly when you bring them your husband's recherche meat request / Ramps — if it's on a menu, I trust the kitchen / Handwritten menus / Any time a server tells me: "Excellent order" / The evocative names on heirloom-variety seed packets: "Grandma Hadley's lettuce;" "Jimmy Nardello peppers" / The butcher's blocky Sharpie handwriting on the brown paper parcel containing our lamp chops / A French market basket laden with the day's provisions: baguette, fromage, fruits de mer / The term fruits de mer / My husband's potager garden, and the way he ministers to it year-round / Candlelight and table linens / The sizzle of butter in a well-seasoned skillet, and the maillard that results / The bald love that goes into preparing a meal
— Jen Shoop, Things I find Randomly Chic: Food Edition
the sexual tension between me and reaching my breaking point
-Anaïs Nin, 1939

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do not taste plants if you don't know what they are
do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet
hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro
And today, we have this winner:
I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...
In comments, they continue:
and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first:
So just as a reminder, folks. If you don't know what it is, don't put it in your fucking mouth!
YOU GODDAMN STUPID MOTHERFUCKER
Good fucking god, people, if you don't know what it is, DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR STUPID MOUTH.
Oh my god. Good lord. I learned that when I was TINY. I was the tiniest, dumbest baby child and I knew better than to do this. What is wrong with you.
At Halloween last year, the tiniest little girl dressed as one of the Folk came to my door. There's an increasingly magnificent native beautyberry to one side of my stoop, with its marvelous electric purple berries served up in great tumbles, and she was transfixed by it. She got her candy, I complimented her costume, she started down the stairs, and then stopped, and turned back around. Her: "Are those for-eating berries?" Me: "Oh, you are so smart and clever for asking first! That is such a good idea, I'm so impressed! These are Callicarpa, called beautyberry, and they are edible. Usually they are for cooking, though, to make syrup or jam, and they're not very nice right off the bush. But they are a food berry, and you're so smart to ask!" Her: "Can I...try one?" Me: "If your mother says you may." Her mother, from the walk: "Are you SURE, like, 100% sure. That those are food." Me: "A hundred percent sure, ma'am. I could show you a couple of websites on them, if you want." The Girl: *waits for her mother's nod, then gently reaches out and takes three very small berries and puts them into her mouth* The Girl: *makes an inquisitive face as she chews, walking down the path toward her mother* Me, turning back inside: "Husband, you should have seen this very smart little girl just now!"
I think that if I unsubscribe I should stop getting the emails

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How do you feel about driving?
I can drive, I am good at driving, I enjoy driving.
I can drive, I am good at driving, I do not enjoy driving.
I can drive, I am bad at driving, I enjoy driving.
I can drive, I am bad at driving, I do not enjoy driving.
I haven't learned to drive, I think I would enjoy driving.
I haven't learned to drive, I do not think I would enjoy driving.
I can't drive anymore, I was good at it, I enjoyed driving.
I can't drive anymore, I was good at it, I didn't enjoy it.
I can't drive anymore, I was bad at it, I enjoyed it.
I can't drive anymore, I was bad at it, I didn't enjoy it.
I will never understand how normalized it is to put cameras in your home now. I can recognize some scenarios where it makes sense- if I had a stalker for example, but like. It would have to be That Big for me to consider it. People today use it to tell their kids it's time to stop playing video games and do homework like. Like?? I do not understand how you don't understand how harmful it is to raise kids with the sense they're always being watched like why does anyone under normal circumstances invite this into their home
saw a video recently, recorded by a camera in a child's bedroom, of a toddler reading her favorite book after bed time. her mom went in and told her it was time to sleep, and she said, 'but i just love reading so much.' her mom laughed indulgently and told her to sleep once the book was finished. she agreed, but before the video ended, she said, 'you're so silly for watching me!'
she was smiling when she said it, but i found that one sentence so abysmal. that toddler knew her mom didn't just happen to come and check on her. she understands that there is a camera in her room by which her mom (and as far as she might comprehend, any adult) can access her in her private space, in her private time, at all times.
can you imagine? never on your own. can't sleep? too bad. you're a child and the grown ups are watching you. lie in bed in the dark. pretend to sleep. behave.
it's 10 pm and the rest of the house is enjoying winding down after a long day. your parents don't need to worry about putting on a professional face like they do at work. your older siblings get to be themselves instead of who they have to be at school. everyone gets to relax. but not you.
it's 10 pm, and you're three years old, and you must continue to do everything right, because they are watching you.
oh, and when you don't behave, if it's cute enough, your mother will post footage of you in your bedroom for millions of strangers to watch!