save the bees

the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us

sorry i barked when i saw your happy trail do you still want me

north carolina being a southern state doesn't make any sense, it's got north in the name the americas are so fucking stupid

when i become president of the world by force i will rename north carolina to south carolina so that its name reflects its status as a southern state

[visibly shaken and paler after an aide whispered into my ear but trying to retain my presidential of the world composure] and south carolina will be renamed southern carolina

How they get barack obamma and joe bidden to say this stuff toigether

the sexual tension between me and reaching my breaking point

At Halloween last year, the tiniest little girl dressed as one of the Folk came to my door. There's an increasingly magnificent native beautyberry to one side of my stoop, with its marvelous electric purple berries served up in great tumbles, and she was transfixed by it. She got her candy, I complimented her costume, she started down the stairs, and then stopped, and turned back around. Her: "Are those for-eating berries?" Me: "Oh, you are so smart and clever for asking first! That is such a good idea, I'm so impressed! These are Callicarpa, called beautyberry, and they are edible. Usually they are for cooking, though, to make syrup or jam, and they're not very nice right off the bush. But they are a food berry, and you're so smart to ask!" Her: "Can I...try one?" Me: "If your mother says you may." Her mother, from the walk: "Are you SURE, like, 100% sure. That those are food." Me: "A hundred percent sure, ma'am. I could show you a couple of websites on them, if you want." The Girl: *waits for her mother's nod, then gently reaches out and takes three very small berries and puts them into her mouth* The Girl: *makes an inquisitive face as she chews, walking down the path toward her mother* Me, turning back inside: "Husband, you should have seen this very smart little girl just now!"

I think that if I unsubscribe I should stop getting the emails

I will never understand how normalized it is to put cameras in your home now. I can recognize some scenarios where it makes sense- if I had a stalker for example, but like. It would have to be That Big for me to consider it. People today use it to tell their kids it's time to stop playing video games and do homework like. Like?? I do not understand how you don't understand how harmful it is to raise kids with the sense they're always being watched like why does anyone under normal circumstances invite this into their home