TPWK

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I’ve loved books like Red, White & Royal Blue, Joshi & Hazels’s Guide To Not Dating (and most Christina Lauren books tbh) and The Hating Game

Fake-Dating Your Stepbrother (and Other Terrible Ideas)

Clarke is a college freshman who just wants dudes to stop hitting on her, so she starts telling people she has a boyfriend. When pressed, she rattles off details about her stepbrother, and soon the lie spirals out of control.

Bellamy is a hot dumb loser who gets kicked out of the Air Force and decides to lay low for a bit.

After an exhausting semester, dead-set on keeping the friendships she’s made, Clarke invites the entire squad to the family beach house —

Where Bellamy is hiding out. Bellamy, her stepbrother, whom everyone thinks is her boyfriend.

written for @the100whatthefluff​. updates Sunday & Wednesday evenings EST.

let me share a memory with y’all. it’s from i guess 1978 or thereabouts. it’s high summer. i don’t remember where my mom was driving me, in our avocado green chevette, i just know there was a traffic jam that turned 35w northbound into a parking lot from horizon to horizon.

picture it – wait, you don’t have to use your imagination, this happened all the damn time back then.

every one of those damn cars was burning leaded gasoline. there were no emissions regulations. there were no safety regulations. there were just thousands and thousands of detroit steel shoeboxes belching visible smoke as they idled, engines loud and hot, here and there a radiator giving up in the heat, a cloud of burning oil rising.

i, a smeet of five or six, was choking on toxic smog.

i reckon it was about a half hour into the traffic jam that i first threw up. i remember a blinding headache, i remember being confused, i remember dry heaving with my arms and head hanging out the window, the green metal of the car burning my hands and my chin. i don’t remember passing out, but i’m told i lost consciousness before mom was able to get to an off-ramp, because there were no emergency lanes on the highways back then.

i lived. and life went on. what were we going to do, complain? if i’d died, the cause of death probably would’ve been recorded as heatstroke, not carbon monoxide poisoning.

i know i’m probably preaching to the choir here on tumblr. but i really wish i could tell that story to the people who think deregulation is no big deal. i wish they’d put themselves in my mom’s shoes.

or even just look at some old pictures, then look out the window.

ever notice how cityscapes used to have that orange tint and hazy aura? yeah, that’s poison gas.

remember how the mississippi river used to be a stinking soup of baby-shit yellow sludge covered with disturbingly stiff rafts of light orange foam?

i can’t even find pictures of the sludge and foam, i guess they didn’t end up on the internet. the smell was indescribable. that oily shimmer. the reek of dead things. people didn’t boat on the river for pleasure; it smelled too bad, it was too ugly, and you could get super super sick if you touched the water.

and now look at it.

i still wouldn’t want to drink it, but if i fell in i wouldn’t bolt for the shower in a panic, you know?

if the thieving billionaires get their way, we can kiss those sailboats goodbye, and learn the smell of toxic foam once more. the ultra-rich won’t even feel the extra money, they’ve already got more than they could ever touch, they just stash it in offshore accounts to rot, but the rest of us will return to a time of neverending nausea and weird cancers. a time when every elementary school class had at least one kind who’d been born with no fingers or their heart outside their body, and this was just… the way things were.

When I was learning my trade, when my classmates and I were having a chuckle over the “well duh” level of specificity written into the Code of Federal Regulations (try “no hazardous material shall be stored in crew berthing” on for size), I will never forget the silence that followed when our instructor spoke these words:

“Your regulations are written in blood.”

These regulations were not written on a whim. They were written because someone thought they could cut costs by storing however many more pounds of a radioactive, toxic, carcinogenic, or whatever else material in the same rooms where the human beings they paid to transport those materials slept, and then did that, because no one was telling them not to. 

They were written because people died. Horrifically. Because unregulated capitalism values profit over human life and suffering. 

Can I say it again, for those not paying attention? 

Veggies are so fucking rad. I just completed a 37 hour fast, and I’m breaking it with this. This whole plate is only 125 calories. Without the sauce, it would have been 75. FOR THE WHOLE PLATE. And, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to eat all of it.

265 calories, feel free to change what you like idfk the world is your oyster

340g Frozen cauliflower rice - 80 cal

113g Fat free cottage cheese - 80 cals

28g Reduced mozzarella cheese - 80

46g Liquid egg substitute- 25

1. Microwave cauliflower, drain the fuck out of that bitch.

2. Mix Oregano, salt, pepper, garlic powder/salt, and parsley with your egg.

3. Drain cottage cheese, add mozzarella.

4. MIX EVERYTGING TOGETHER AND THROW INTO A MF PAN, pOP IT IN A PRE COOKING OVEN AT 400 DEGREES, COOK FOR 25 - 30 MINUTES UNTIL FULLY COOKED

5. Fucking, done, eat it, with your MOUTH

Edit: Also please dont interact with them, the will be trying to doxx and expose people, and they do not care if you’re underage, or anything else! They’ll expose you to your families, schools, or work place. Anywhere they think it could hurt you! Please be aware, and be safe!

Gotta Be You: Talk about your crush!

One Thing: What’s one thing your dream girl/boy HAS to have?

More Than This: What’s the bravest thing you ever did?

Up All Night: Talk about the craziest night of your life.

I Wish: What’s your biggest dream?

Tell Me A Lie: What was your most recent lie?

Taken: Talk about your last relationship.

I Want: Name three things you want in life

Everything About You: Who’s your biggest celebrity crush?

Same Mistakes: What’s your most common mistake?

Save You Tonight: Which three things would you save if there was a fire?

Stole My Heart: Have you ever fallen for someone you shouldn’t have fallen for?

Stand Up: What’s your favourite sport?

Moments: Talk about something good that recently happened to you.

Another World: Which fictional world would you want to live in if you could?

Na Na Na: What’s one thing you can never say no to?

I Should Have Kissed You: Is there something you regret?

Live While We’re Young: Talk about a childhood memory.

Kiss You: Tell the story of your first kiss.

Little Things: Name five things you find attractive in others.

C'Mon, C'Mon: What’s your dream destination for a good vacation?

Last First Kiss: Do you want to get married? If so, talk about your dream wedding.

Heart Attack: Are you jealous?

Rock Me: List your ten favourite bands.

Change My Mind: Are you good at making final decisions or do you easily change your mind?

I Would: Name three guilty pleasures of yours.

Over Again: Talk about your first love.

Back For You: Talk about your best friend.

They Don’t Know About Us: Share a secret!

Summer Love: Talk about a summer memory.

She’s Not Afraid: What’s your favourite horror film?

Loved You First: Are you a possessive person?

Nobody Compares: Who’s your idol?

Still The One: What’s one thing you can’t seem to get over?

Best Song Ever: List your ten favourite songs.

Story Of My Life: List five things you can’t live without.

Diana: What would you name your children?

Midnight Memories: Talk about a dream you recently had.

You & I: Talk about your OTP.

Don’t Forget Where You Belong: Where do you feel home?

Strong: What are your three best qualities?

Happily: Name three things that make you happy.

Right Now: Do you miss someone at the moment?

Little Black Dress: How would you describe your style?

Through The Dark: What helps you when you’re feeling down?

Something Great: Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Little White Lies: Talk about your #1 sexual fantasy.

Better Than Words: Do you read fanfiction? If so, what’s your favourite fanfiction?

Why Don’t We Go There?: Which big cities have you been to?

Does He Know?: Would you be up for a threesome?

Alive: What’s one thing you’d never tell your “real life” friends?

Half A Heart: What’s your favourite lovestory? ( Book, film, etc. )

Steal My Girl: Did you ever steal anything?

Ready To Run: If you could have one super power, which would you choose?

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?: Talk about the best concert you ever attented.

18: Do you wish you were younger or older?

Girl Almighty: What makes you sexy?

Fool’s Gold: Do you fall for people quickly?

Night Changes: What’s one thing you don’t ever want to change?

No Control: Can you control your temper ?

Fireproof: What scares you?

Spaces: Did you ever let someone go for good?

Stockholm Syndrome: Name five kinks of yours.

Clouds: What’s your star sign? Does your personality match it?

Change Your Ticket: What would you do with a million dollars?

Illusion: Do you believe in higher powers?

Once In A Lifetime: What’s three things you want to do before you die?

Act My Age: Do you consider yourself mature?