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lyo_likes_to_talk on IG

1. I will always find it weird for an adult to think a child is being "manipulative" because a child quite literally doesn't have the brain development to understand what manipulation is or why they shouldn't be manipulative.

Like this applies to all “invisible” disabilities in the sense that just bc you can’t see what’s wrong doesn’t mean nothing is wrong or they aren’t disabled but it’s especially the case for chronic migraines

Migraines are NOT just headaches. It’s not just “oof ow my head hurt :(”, Migraines are WHOLE body affair. It’s getting weepy and irritable hours before the pain hits, it’s starting to get clumsy and feeling body aches just before the pain starts, it’s getting stiff because of the aches and sensitive to light and sound because of how heightened senses get.

And when the pain gets, sometimes it is the general image of someone locked in a dark room in bed, which is genuinely awful bc you can’t do anything. You just have to lay there and stew in your pain and no medicine touches it and everything hurts, worst of all your head and there is nothing to focus on other than the pain because any light hurts and any sound hurts.

But sometimes the pain isn’t bad enough for that, or sometimes you have to work or go to school with nails in your head and it’s impossible to focus. Your depth perception gets wonky, you’re clumsy, you slur or stumble over your words because so much of your brain is occupied only by pain. You can’t miss another day of work, you can’t miss the money, but you’re messing up orders or you’re misunderstanding instructions.

And then there’s the after. Postdrome, the migraine hangover. Where the emotional and irritability returns, and you have issues with your stomach, very often leaving you unable to eat or drink without puking. Your neck is stiff, your head feels heavy, your brain is so fogged up that you can barely string together a coherent sentence. Your body aches much worse than before, and you’re exhausted, fatigued to hell and back, and that lasts for 1-3 days after the actual migraine.

Migraines are a multi-day condition that affects EVERY aspect of your fucking life. And medicines that treat the pain very often only lessen the symptoms that occur before and after.

i like it when trans men and transmasc people exist

i like it when nonbinary and abinary people exist

i like it when intersex people exist

i like it when people with culturally exclusive identities exist

every now and then i scroll across a post from a racialize person that essentially amounts to "white people i hate you. i hate all of you. die in a ditch."

i am not making up a strawman here to beat down. because a) i have come across posts that say this practically word for word and, more importantly, b) i agree with the sentiment. it is a very, very understandable anger. to quote malcom x,

“When all of my ancestors are snake-bitten, and I’m snake-bitten, and I warn my children to avoid snakes, what does that snake sound like accusing me of hate-teaching?”

anger at your oppressors, even anger at those who may have not oppressed you directly but inadvertently wield privilege to aid those who do, is justified and righteous.

but at the same time, a post that's only an expression of that anger sometimes feels a little too personal to broadcast. it feels as though i wasn't really meant to see it. and i don't want to just reblog a stranger's expression of distress for all of (majority white) tumblr to see because that might endanger their online presence or worse.

and there's also the issue of tone deafness. for someone to go "man i hate white people" only for a white guy to come in and say the online equivalent of "yeah same lmao" without having anything to add just feels. really disingenuous? like i'm not in a position to truly empathize as i'm not racialized, so i'd rather be able to give advice. but i can't really do that either as, again, i'm not racialized and any advice i give should be sourced from those who are. there's nothing i can really say that would add to the conversation so i'd rather not say anything at all.

(this obv doesn't apply when it's appended with "white people can rb" or something along those lines because then that implies the poster wants their post to be seen by white people en masse, vent or otherwise.)

at one point i did rb one of these vent posts thinking it would help but i got dm'ed with the advisement that it's common courtesy not to and i took it down. i've been iffy about reblogging those kinds of posts since. but meanwhile when a post says "i fucking hate you. here's what you can do about it." that carries the implication that it's more than just a raw expression of anger. there's an invitation and advisement for action. that i will rb because it carries a clear purpose outside the outlet of emotions. it doesn't feel like i've just stumbled upon someone's personal journal, but more like they want to be seen and heard. if it doesn't really have an overarching goal in mind other than venting than i don't fully get why i should reblog it. it sounds antithetical to a lot of what i've learned so far. i wouldn't reblog my friend going through it. so why should i reblog a stranger doing the same?

This post is also on the same wavelength on what I was saying. I'll also reiterate the specific examples I gave in the notes and replies. There's a lot of (White, especially) users on tumblr who are reluctant to reblog posts that directly call out racism in general, but are even more reluctant when the post is directly mentioning racism BY White tumblr users (as in, racist actions by White users & the post is made by nonwhite users) or specific examples of it. More specifically like my post says, I'm talking about essentially tone policing. If someone is visibly, vocally angry about the racism they're talking about on the post, White tumblr users will avoid it. But if the wording says something to the effect of like "I know White people aren't trying to be racist when they do x" etc, then the post will be more popular. In my example in the notes, I was talking about racism within cottagecore many times, and I've noticed that even though I have multiple posts that boil down to the same thesis, the ones where my wording is (rightfully, justifiably) angrier are more ignored and have less notes than ones where I'm not. And like my mutual said as well, posts about White tumblr user's racism that are less direct in their wording will be more popular because White people will think "well this can't possibly be about me!". It's the same kind of idea.

pros: yay! i finally look like a guy! people think im a man!