x²

evil One Direction: bitch you fuck up my world like nobody else

scared to get close to people. scared everyone will leave. scared no one likes me. scared scared scared

doomed by the narrative but not to death. doomed to survive. doomed to stay alive inside the story. doomed to never escape the narrative, not even through death. you are allowed no exit. there is no way out for you and there never was. you couldn’t die if you wanted to. the narrative has a hold on you and it won’t let go. death is too sweet a doom for you. the story has something much worse in mind. there is no way out.

google search how to cough up the ball of grief that's been stuck in your stomach since birth

being born lonely is so fucking suffocating bc you feel like no matter who you do or who you’re with deep down you’re just not palatable to other people. something about you is so inherently other and nothing can ever dispel that. and it haunts you w every social situation you walk into but you just have to be okay w it for the rest of your life

there is a deep pathological sadness and loneliness you just can’t shake off that comes from having a traumatic childhood and broken family which I still haven’t come to terms with