constant craving

ding ding dingaling we have a wiener

dude you dont gotta be sorry  i asked

if your dick is really your front office, i think that explains a lot. :p

nope try again

my agent is that guy you lock in the back closet somewhere when you dont want them to know what the front office is up to

no thats not why we keep that up probably i dont know im not a psychologist

no problem always happy to help

... weeb?

well there you go then

the front office is exactly what you think it is B;)

mhm bro is a weirdo and he does it because he knows it annoys us and we know he does it for that reason but we never quite manage to stop complaining about it long enough for him to get bored of it either doesnt mean we have any less affection for him

you do what you do or dont find is at your own risk

... your agent? 

so... what you’re saying is that a part of you keeps on being annoyed by it so that he doesn’t ever stop saying it? that’s really sweet, dave!

i dont mean to

it just happens but im attending to you right now arent i unless you mean you need some hands on attendance in which case i might have to check with the front office for availability

pups can be adopted to yknow

its not like you cant find a copy elsewhere or have used your fancy schmancy watch thing when you were here so you dont need a key cause i aint hauling my ass out to go send it to you now

no, i don’t need more hands on attendance. this is good, thank you. who is the front office?

i’m sure that even if you were adopted and not at all related by blood to him, he’d still say he birthed you. that’s just how much he loves you guys. it’s like that saying “i love them like they were my own flesh and blood.” but you are of the same flesh and blood as him, being brothers, so the next answer is “i birthed him.”

Maybe I’ll try to stream it sometime.

That sounds like fun.

maybe your tears empower me

he did no such thing and he needs to stop fucking saying he did like years ago but im glad you like him

yep i mean exactly like that

that’s just mean. why would you abuse your poor, neglected conscience this way?

but he sees you as his baby. why would you deny him that?

Well thankfully you’re not.

Huh. I’ll make a note to check it out sometime.

What have I missed in your timeline?

it’s been on my read and watch list for years.

maybe

you never know

not dirk bro yeah i let him in not like i had a choice since he let himself in as soon as the door was opened and refused to be budged till he got what he wanted which was apparently just the pleasure of my company and a few of my clothes when he was done

i see i see you can always come by when im asleep and whisper sweet dont do its in my ear

don’t raise my hopes up only to dash them, dave! i’ll cry!

bro is awesome and totally kick ass. he just... owns. and also, he totally birthed you. he kept saying that the first time i met him.

Originally posted by ouija-origin-of-evil-uk

I’m glad there’s no judgment at least.

Apparently! Dae’s catching me up on what I missed.

….What’s a true blood universe?

i’d be a hypocrite if i judged.

That’s never bothered me before.

How’s it going since I last talked to you? (Probably only a few hours ago I think. But then again I nodded off and missed the end of the world and a cure for our need to drink blood so it could have been longer.)

... i can’t even judge you for that, honestly. 

guess well just have to find out

my brother decided to pop by for a visit while and curled up on my doorstep like a homeless cretin but other than that ive been good

youre either pulling my leg or theres a story there and i wanna know

gasp! you’re gonna give me attention?

... which brother? i’m leaning towards not dirk, but honestly, i can see either one of them trying to pull off the hobo chic look. did you let him in?