I'm here because my brother asked

*Rabbit hops up to garden to eat some delicious lettuce and finds it covered in blood*

Like, if they already know you’re a vampire, that’s cool and you can talk about it with them whenever.  And if they don’t know but are straight up like “hey are you a vampire?” you can be like “yes I am” and then you can talk to them about being a vampire because they already know now.

But the point is you can’t tell people.

So you’ve got this vampire who really wants to tell their friends and they’re dropping all these hints and being as obvious as they possibly can be but their friends just think they over-exaggerate everything.

“Hey, when did you learn to lock pick?”  “Sometime around the middle ages, I think.”  “Okay, fine, I won’t pry then.”

“Cool shirt!  When did you get it?” “Oh, about fifty years ago or so.”  “Dude you weren’t even alive.  It’s a hand-me-down, then?”

“Hey check out this cool Renaissance painting.” *points to a person lying dramatically on the ground* “That’s me.” “Haha, that totally would be you.  I’m the one getting his head chopped off.”  “No, you don’t get it that’s actually me.”  “God, I know.  You’re so dramatic.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been to Europe?” “A couple centuries at least.”

“What’s this red drink in your fridge?” “Blood.”  “Is it that new diet drink?”  “No, it’s blood.”  “No, seriously.  I’m thinking about trying this diet.  Does it work?”  *sighs*  “No.”

“How come you don’t have any mirrors in your house?”  “I don’t have a reflection.”  “Cool.  It’s really admirable that you’re not letting society’s expectations dictate your life.”

“Hey, it’s really sunny out today.  Wanna go for a walk?”  “No.  I will literally burn up and die.”  “Fine, stay inside and watch Netflix.  That’s cool too.”

“I heard these coffin beds are really supposed to help you sleep.  I’ve never seen one this cool though.  Where’d you get it?”  “I was buried in it.”  “Fine.  Don’t tell me.”

Vampires are just nocturnal, the same way we are diurnal. A vampire could go out during the day, but they would just rather be sleeping.

Vampires are just afraid of the light, the same way we are afraid of the dark. Their eyes are meant to see in the dark, so they just can’t see very well in the light. It hurts their eyes and they can’t see what’s around them, so it’s just scary.

Some vampire was probably too afraid to admit that he was afraid of the light, so he made up a fake allergy to the sun. Word got out to mortals, so we just assumed that all vampires are allergic to the sun. You know how mortals like to stereotype and whatnot.

Like, if they already know you’re a vampire, that’s cool and you can talk about it with them whenever.  And if they don’t know but are straight up like “hey are you a vampire?” you can be like “yes I am” and then you can talk to them about being a vampire because they already know now.

But the point is you can’t tell people.

So you’ve got this vampire who really wants to tell their friends and they’re dropping all these hints and being as obvious as they possibly can be but their friends just think they over-exaggerate everything.

“Hey, when did you learn to lock pick?”  “Sometime around the middle ages, I think.”  “Okay, fine, I won’t pry then.”

“Cool shirt!  When did you get it?” “Oh, about fifty years ago or so.”  “Dude you weren’t even alive.  It’s a hand-me-down, then?”

“Hey check out this cool Renaissance painting.” *points to a person lying dramatically on the ground* “That’s me.” “Haha, that totally would be you.  I’m the one getting his head chopped off.”  “No, you don’t get it that’s actually me.”  “God, I know.  You’re so dramatic.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been to Europe?” “A couple centuries at least.”

“What’s this red drink in your fridge?” “Blood.”  “Is it that new diet drink?”  “No, it’s blood.”  “No, seriously.  I’m thinking about trying this diet.  Does it work?”  *sighs*  “No.”

“How come you don’t have any mirrors in your house?”  “I don’t have a reflection.”  “Cool.  It’s really admirable that you’re not letting society’s expectations dictate your life.”

“Hey, it’s really sunny out today.  Wanna go for a walk?”  “No.  I will literally burn up and die.”  “Fine, stay inside and watch Netflix.  That’s cool too.”

“I heard these coffin beds are really supposed to help you sleep.  I’ve never seen one this cool though.  Where’d you get it?”  “I was buried in it.”  “Fine.  Don’t tell me.”

He was doing pretty well for the first half, but then his ankle started to hurt. He slowed down for a bit, but then this girl he passed before passed him, and he started overthinking whether or not it was awkward to pass the same person multiple times, and, like, what if they small-talked about it? He decided it was better to pass her and stay ahead, so he picked up the pace. A few miles later, he fell in with two dude-bros who started talking to him. Not pleased to find himself in the company of dude-bros, he pulled ahead once again. This continued for a while; every time he got closed to a group of other marathoners, his social anxiety kicked in and he ran faster because he felt nervous being near people.