I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Then bring me luck

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

listen i am in the trenches rn i am not risking fucking up even more bc i skipped a tumblr chain post.

Middle aged women who aren’t very well versed in social media post with a sort of instinctive savant hilariousness that reminds me of the poetry of children who haven’t learned what good poetry sounds like yet

tumblr is sleeping on scientifically average orgasm face man

what does this mean for the masochists

When you drink a hot beverage and you feel the heat spilling and blooming in your chest… There is nothing like it!

This is Pokémon NPC dialogue

[ID: a screenshot of a Google Maps search for "gay bar carrollton tx." The first result is Electric Cowboy Lewisville, a bar in Lewisville, TX. An excerpt from a review is shown that reads, "... There was a big gay rat on my burger." end ID]

Item: Badge of the Chippy Hike; allows the wearer to proudly inform the world that they once walked to a nearby chip shop and ate some chips. It’s like those Pilgrim Badges that Medieval travelers would wear