hellscape

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

When I was a kid I thought Master Chief was gender fluid bc I didn't understand who Cortana was so anytime she talked I just thought it was chief being a girl for that sentence

Angel on my left shoulder telling me to do good. Devil on my right shoulder telling me to do bad. Rat on my head teaching me how to cook

thinking about how in the 1800s i would've just been able to leave my town, change my appearance and my name, and wander until no one knew who i was

and then i would pretend to be a doctor and sell people fucked up little medicines

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

Love character relationships that can only be described as "whatever the fuck these two have going on"

"He wouldn't say that" has a beautiful cousin, and her name is "That's Not What This Story is About".

i'm wasting my life on the computer when i could be living my life to the fullest on the computer

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

ocd feels like the mental equivalent of putting your whole face cheek-down on a hot stove but where it really gets you is that if you try not to touch the stove then you will think to yourself welllllllllllllllll you know what i kind of miss the stove. you know what the stove had a certain je nais se quoi